


Down at the Wolfbucks Cafe

by WolfstarGarden



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Bathtubs, Bromance, Dating, Epic Friendship, Family, Flirting, Fluff, Getting Together, Humor, Jegulus, Kissing, LGBTQ Themes, Light-Hearted, M/M, Mild Sexual Content, No Angst, No Smut, Platonic Kissing, Platonic Relationships, wolfstar
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-08
Updated: 2018-10-02
Packaged: 2019-05-04 01:22:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 20
Words: 38,618
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14581842
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WolfstarGarden/pseuds/WolfstarGarden
Summary: James and Remus run a very successful queer-friendly cafe. Sirius and Regulus visit one day.





	1. They Meet

**Author's Note:**

> My divine friend Starstruck4Moony wanted to help distract me from my job issues. She gave me two words: "cafe wolfbucks" on the 24th of April.
> 
> I haven't stopped writing it since. This thing is gonna be sooooooo long. The tale of the red ribbon begins next chapter. You may also look forward to a lot of fluff and a lot of nonsense as we walk this beast out.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Four soon to be inseparably co-dependent young men meet in a cafe.

This is a story of four young men. They’re all twenty-something and as queer as can be, despite any statistical improbability – because the author doesn’t care, and it’s more fun that way.

They meet one day in a cafe...

l-l

_Regulus_

“This is the place,” Regulus said as they approached. “We’ll go in here and forget about all of that homophobic bullshit, okay?”

Sirius scowled and shrugged heavy shoulders. “Fine, Reg. Whatever.”

Barely refraining from rolling his eyes, Regulus swung the door open and shoved his brother inside.

Despite its reputation, Regulus was impressed by the Wolfbucks Cafe – immensely busy, it was bustling with people and good cheer, the air gorgeously scented with rich coffee and warm baking. Pausing to absorb the atmosphere before finding a seat, Regulus’ eyes halted on a man across the room. He was perched on the arm of a chair, long and athletic and somewhat posh.

Something about his smile caught Regulus’ attention – he radiated warmth like sunshine, laughter pulling the lines of his mouth – joyous and full of life. Almost magnetically, Regulus moved to the nearest empty table and sank into a chair, not prepared to look away. A vague echo of Sirius’ grouchy voice bubbled into the back of his mind and Regulus mumbled, “Yeah, I’ll have a latte, thanks brother...”

Transfixed, Regulus forgot that he was supposed to be cheering Sirius up. Instead, he was watching the line of the man’s throat when he laughed, the way his glasses glinted, the tumble of his hair when he leant close to the man he was flirting with...

He wanted that man’s attention for himself. Regulus wanted to soak up his magic, his cheer and energy.

“Will you fucking _stop_?” Sirius snapped finally.

“I’m trying,” Regulus said, but he was lying. A prickly feeling rushed across his skin. He was going to _have_ to meet that man.

l-l

_Sirius_

The last thing Sirius wanted was to sit and watch his own brother drooling over a stranger. After all, Regulus could pick up anytime, but Sirius genuinely needed distraction. Firing an employee was never pleasant and this time he’d been rewarded with a barrage of homophobic rage rather than the usual gracious, if emotional, departure.

Spitting angrily over the phone had not proven good venting so Regulus had offered to cheer him over lunch. Instead, Sirius got to watch his brother mentally undressing the swarthy bloke with the mad hair.

A sudden ripple went through the entire cafe and a clear voice carried through the ensuing hush. “James, you may have noticed we’re rather busy, goddammit! Get back to work, you sod!”

The man belonging to that voice grabbed James by the ear and hoisted him up; he did not look remotely abashed. The crowd near them began to laugh and cheer as the two men fell into repartee.

“Don’t encourage him!” the new man’s tone was very stern but his eyes were laughing.

“But they like me, Moony!” James replied before kissing his friend’s cheek and bouncing away. The waiter rolled his eyes with an indulgent exaggeration and began to move amongst the tables.

Regulus hooked a disappointed eyebrow. “Fuckssake,” he grumbled, picking up his coffee.

Deciding to treat Regulus to a dose of his own behaviour Sirius turned his attention to the new man; his steam-rumpled curls and deliciously tight trousers were remarkably appealing. Like James, he exuded an effortless charm and mischief, though it was expressed in a far milder way.

He was collecting cups – Sirius gulped down his tea and promptly choked as it scalded the lining out of his throat.

“Smooth,” Regulus said, eyeing him disdainfully.

Sirius threw him a quick glare. “Just watch and learn little brother.”

The waiter approached and Sirius saw his nametag read ‘Remus’. “All done?” he murmured, glancing at Sirius as he reached for the empty cup. Their fingers brushed together and a sharp thrill zipped through Sirius’ body.

Then their eyes met.

Close up, Remus was undeniably attractive. Sirius bit his lip, heart thudding hard against his ribs.

Remus’ gaze lingered on Sirius’ mouth, eyes glazing with an obvious and approving interest. Yet, when he spoke his voice was perfectly calm. “Anything else I can get you?”

“Dinner tonight.” Sirius requested promptly.

Regulus was not paying attention. He spoke at the same time, vague words answering Remus’ question. “Yeah ... bring me your friend.”

Bemused, Remus glanced between them. There was a knowing, amused curve to his lips as his eyes swept over Regulus. Sirius followed his gaze as Remus glanced over at the counter; James was flirting with a pair of young women. Clearly, his charm was a big drawcard for the business.

Then Remus turned back to Sirius, appraising him slowly, a seductive smile growing on his face. Sirius shivered. In a light voice, Remus finally asked, “What time tonight?”

“Six o’clock?” Sirius suggested quickly, covering his slight surprise.

Remus watched him for long moment then picked up a napkin and scratched his phone number onto it, pressing it into Sirius’ hand with a murmured, “Text me the details.” Then he turned to Regulus with a warm, impish smile and said, “And I’ll go and get James for you.”

l-l

_James_

“You’ve managed to get another customer drooling over you, Prongs,” Remus said as he slipped by with his tray of crockery.

“Oh yeah?” James grinned, glancing over. “Which one?”

Remus flicked an affectionate gaze over him, gesturing. “See the two hot guys over there?”

“I saw you give your number to one, of which I whole-heartedly approve.”

“Uh huh. Well, the other one has requested your attention.”

“Is that right?” James beamed, arching an eyebrow as he peered across the cafe. “Well, gotta give the public what they want. Cheers, Moony!” James threw himself around the counter and bounded over.

He careened towards the two men, both of whom looked rather alarmed when James flung himself onto their table. Grinning at them, he tried to gauge their reactions – the brother clutching Remus’ phone number was eying him suspiciously while the other failed to appear nonchalant; he was the one James focussed on. “Hello chaps. Now, I’m told _you_ ordered off menu, but I didn’t catch your name?”

 “Regulus.” There was a slight, confused hesitation, then: “What did I order?”

“Me, of course.” James leaned towards him, lowering his voice. “Isn’t that what you asked for, Regulus? You want me?”

“Uh...” Regulus’ brother scowled and James flashed him a winning smile as reassurance, while Regulus opted for a poisonous look. He met James’ eyes and spoke in a quiet, unreadable voice. “Yes. I ordered you.”

“Mm.” James flicked a smug eyebrow. “And what do you want with me?”

Regulus held James’ gaze unwaveringly, but his teeth caught the corner of a plump lip and gave lie to his cool exterior. “What have you got?”

“Ooh!” James beamed, pleasantly surprised. “You’re saucy. _I like that_.”

Banter came easy between them and James eyed Regulus with steadily growing interest until Remus’ voice split across the bustle of the cafe. “James!”

“Oops, gotta go,” James said cheerfully. About to stand, he paused and gently stroked fingers down Regulus’ cheek. With a slow, thoughtful smile he said, “I like you. Come and see me before you leave.”

l-l

_Remus_

“You like him,” Remus said knowingly, watching James’ distraction with fond amusement.

James rubbed a hand vaguely through his hair. “Shut up Moony.”

Remus knocked him lightly with a teasing hip. “So, we’re poaching both brothers are we? I think that’s a first for us. Did you give him your number?”

“Hm? Oh, I’m waiting to see if he comes to say goodbye,” James said, smiling.

“You like him,” Remus said confidently. He slung an arm around James. “Just don’t fuck him over until I’ve wrangled his fit brother, hm? I reckon I’m in there.”

“Such faith you have in me Moony.” James grinned at him, eyes sparkling behind his glasses. “Look to your own bedpost, mate.”

Laughing softly, Remus gave James a fond squeeze. Curious, he glanced across the room and watched Sirius and Regulus, a smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. “Oh look Prongs – your boy’s gone all shy. _Ooh_ , I wonder if I can make his brother look that flustered.”

James flicked a cheeky eyebrow at him and bumped Remus gently out of his way.

Remus returned to work, subversively watching Sirius with ever increasing amusement.

Boots crossed on the coffee table, Sirius was sitting back and openly watching him. His handsome face was smooth with smug haughtiness, bright eyes gleaming with a seductive weight. He appeared very disappointed when Remus met his eyes and failed to respond in anyway.

Remus was flattered and also incredibly amused – he wanted to laugh aloud at Sirius’ obviousness. He was definitely looking forward to rumpling that confidence.

Checking the time, Remus finally shucked his apron off and shook out his shoulders. “Right Prongs, it’s three o’clock. I’m off, alright?”

“Sure thing Moony,” James kissed his cheek quickly as Remus slipped past. His voice was sly, “Have fun tonight.”

Grinning, Remus slung his satchel across his shoulder and slowly crossed the cafe, stopping several times to talk to regular customers. Finally he reached Sirius and paused, gracing him with an enigmatic smile. Sirius’ replying grin was almost arrogant, a knowing arch pulling at his brow.

Remus bent towards him and pressed a slow, gentle kiss to Sirius’ cheek, lips just brushing the edge of his mouth. He withdrew lazily and whispered against Sirius’ skin, “I’m going now – I need a shower. But I’ll see you tonight.”

Walking out of the cafe without looking back Remus knew he’d managed to wipe the smug look off of Sirius’ handsome face.

l-l

_Regulus_

Regulus folded his arms and smirked, leaning back expectantly. “You alright there, brother?”

Sirius looked utterly stunned; Regulus could almost hear the high-pitched whine that appeared to have replaced his brain’s ability to process reality.

Clearing his throat roughly, Sirius said, “Uh, yeah. Well ... I’d better go and get ready for this date tonight as well then.”

“Sirius ... it’s three o’clock.”

“Fuck you’re right, I’m gonna be so late – thanks for lunch Reg, I’ll see you at home!” Sirius jumped to his feet and raced for the door.

Startled but not especially surprised, Regulus sat for a moment. Shaking his head at his brother’s folly, he turned to look for James and discovered him behind the counter, laughing at Sirius’ abrupt retreat. Regulus couldn’t help but smile a little at the sight – and then James noticed him.

Horrified at being caught staring, Regulus’ heart shuddered hard, but James merely winked and beckoned to him.

His legs carried him to the counter without Regulus even being aware of deciding to stand up.

Feeling unaccountably nervous, Regulus fumbled for a distraction. He tugged a few banknotes from his clip and then faltered awkwardly – there was no tip jar. He slid the money onto the counter and avoided James’ amused eyes.

James planted his elbows carelessly on top of the notes and leant forwards. “So, Regulus... Where are _we_ going tonight? After all, I'm sure you don't want to be outdone by your brother, and I definitely need to have a better story than Moony’s tomorrow.”

His smirk left Regulus weak in the knees. Grabbing the countertop for support, he immediately realised his mistake when James’ hands curled around his own. Regulus was snared by that flirty, mischievous gaze. He faltered.

After a moment James drew his hands back and straightened up. “Hm. Unless you don’t fancy going out, of course...” he murmured, glancing at Regulus askance. “Which is fine of course, no big deal.”

“No, I want to!” Regulus blurted then snapped his mouth shut, mortified. But James was laughing and too-late Regulus realised he’d just been playfully manipulated. Scowling, he drew himself up and reverted to customary smooth detachment. “We’ll go to the Three Broomsticks,” he asserted.

“Sounds grand,” James replied and they smoothly sorted the details.

Regulus was so lost in that sunshine-smile the he wasn’t even cross at the easy way James managed to play with him.

There was just something about him that Regulus had to have.

l-l

So our four young protagonists have been drawn together by hormones and mischief and unassailable queerness.

In the next chapter they attempt to discover what _else_ they have in common.


	2. First Date

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys go on their respective dates and attempt to get to know one another while wading through sexual tension and emotional expectations.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The tale of the Red Ribbon begins here! Blink and you'll miss it ;)

We left our champions desperately distracted by hormones and each preparing for an evening with a uniquely attractive someone.

As we begin Sirius is excitedly about to leave his house, while Remus' whole game plan for their night is, "I wonder if the hot guy will sleep with me"...

l-l

_Sirius_

“Red,” Sirius muttered, frowning at the clothes on his bed. “Yes, I’m feeling the red.”

Decided, he shook himself into a bright pair of chinos and snatched up a crimson satin ribbon, twisting it into his hair. His thoughts drifted again to Remus. After that parting kiss, Sirius had remained incredibly distracted. An unwanted – though not unwelcome – image of Remus showering kept flickering through his head, only intensifying after a phone call to plan the evening.

Shrugging on shirt and jacket, Sirius stamped towards the hall, absentmindedly doing up his cufflinks. He shoved his shoes on as the front door opened.

“Well,” Regulus dropped his backpack beneath the coat rack. “Someone’s after attention, hm?”

Sirius cringed at his trousers. His flippant tone was a failure. “Too much?”

Regulus rolled his eyes. “I’m teasing you, relax. So, you’re off then?”

“Yeah.”

“Have fun. And just so you know, I may not be in when you get back.”

“Hey?” Sirius glanced over as he grabbed his keys and wallet. “Where’re you going?”

Regulus wouldn’t quite meet his eyes as he grumbled, “Out with James, from the cafe.”

“Oh yeah?” Sirius hooked an eyebrow at him, a pang of protective annoyance striking in his chest. He knew better than to voice it.

“Yeah.” Regulus was perfectly neutral. He finally met Sirius’ glare. “I’ll see you once we’re both home, then.” He wandered towards the stairs, slapping Sirius’ shoulder as passed.

Pausing to scowl, Sirius made for his car. He stabbed Remus’ address into the GPS and started his usual tirade of traffic-abuse as he drove.

Waiting on his front steps, Remus smoothly let himself into the car when Sirius pulled up. His oversized casual clothes looked effortlessly stylish rather than lazy, though Sirius thought it a terrible shame to hide a wonderful arse under baggy denim. Remus settled into the passenger seat and leaned over to peck his cheek in welcome – far more chaste than his parting kiss had been.

“You scrub up alright,” he said as a hello.

“I’m certainly more comfortable out of a suit,” Sirius agreed with a grin, steering out of the driveway.

“Mm, I’ll bet,” Remus replied warmly. Sirius glanced over; Remus’ eyes were raking hungrily over him. It was a look he got too often, but Remus’ candour and obvious appreciation stirred him pleasantly.

Sirius drove; the grind of his frustrated jaw appeared to rather amuse Remus. “Road rage?” he asked lightly.

Sirius grunted. “I prefer my motorbike. Cars are bulky and cumbersome.”

“They’re built for comfort,” Remus said easily. “Would you prefer that I drive? I don’t mind.”

“Ah, we’re not far now. But thanks.” Sirius threw him a quick, warm smile.

Money had its perks – they were seated with drinks at a candlelit table within minutes of arriving at the restaurant, talking easily. Their meals arrived and the waiter poured their wine. “You know you’re drinking the wrong red, right?” Sirius asked companionably.

“Oh?” Remus blinked at him, all mild mischief.

“Yes, you’d have done better with a pinot noir.”

“Ah,” said Remus, jabbing his fork at Sirius’ plate and stealing an olive. “But merlot is the best and that’s well enough for me.” Grinning, Remus took a deep sip to illustrate his point. Sirius watched the movement of his throat. “So, Mr Rich – what else did I get wrong?”

Lip curling, Sirius offered, “You ordered mushrooms.”

He was transfixed by Remus’ glittering eyes. “Not a fan?”

“It’s _called_ fungus, right? Surely not intended to be ingested,” Sirius said.

Remus’ head tipped to the side slightly. He jabbed a mushroom into his mouth, chewing with great relish. “Maybe not,” he said at length. “But you’re still going to kiss me tonight, aren’t you?”

The blood in Sirius’ brain flooded towards his lap. Remus flicked a composed eyebrow at him, eyes gleaming delightfully.

They continued to pick at each other’s meals, hands brushing lightly as they darted across the table. Laughter flowed through their astonishingly easy talk and gradually Sirius noticed a subtle change in Remus’ demeanour, ambivalently wary and mellow. His smiles knocked Sirius’ heart out of rhythm.

“So, you were telling me about you and James?”

Remus paused, gazing at him thoughtfully. Vaguely, he picked up bits of penne with his fingers and popped them into his mouth. “We met in school. Been closer than mates for about fifteen years now.”

Sirius frowned. “Closer than mates?”

A shrug. “We’re a package deal. If you decide to ask me out again, I can assure you there’s nothing you need to worry about. But we are close.”

“Right,” Sirius said, not understanding and not wanting to. Remus’ bland expression was given lie by the sharpness in his eyes. “So ... d’you wanna share dessert?”

An eyebrow hiked up Remus’ brow. “Certainly not.”

“Hey?” Sirius was taken aback; his dates never refused dessert. Then he jerked violently as an unshod foot curved over his knee. “Oy!”

Remus was smiling in a way that made Sirius’ wonderfully squirmy. His foot slid down Sirius’ leg, slow and unnervingly dexterous. “The first thing you need to know about me, Sirius, is that I _never_ share anything sweet.”

Sirius shivered, camouflaging it with a haughty sneer. “What if I happen to order something you’d want to share?”

Squinting at him darkly, Remus murmured, “I see what you’re doing here. Okay - I'll share if you do. But only because I like you.”

Sirius failed to keep a grin off his face. “You do?”

Remus was still frowning. At length, he said, “Yes. I do.” His tone could have meant anything. Plucking another tube of penne, he popped it into his mouth and followed it with fingers, sliding his tongue around them one at a time. Sirius stared. His cock gave an interested throb.

Remus noticed, his face smooth with false innocence. “Oh, did you want some?” His middle finger slid slow and smooth into his mouth, eyes dropping sleepily as he withdrew it. Sighing, Remus stretched and murmured in a perfectly calm and polite voice, “Ah. I’m so sorry – it appears there’s none left. You’ll have to wait for pudding, I suppose.”

Sirius didn’t want to wait. He wanted to suck those fingers.

He quaked in his seat during dessert. Remus’ foot rubbed absently against his calf as he savoured the tiramisu in an astonishingly sensual way. There was no complaint when Sirius shared, just an idle smile and a compliant spoonful of panna cotta.

There was a tiny clink of metal with each slow slide of the spoon across Remus’ tongue – he was pierced. Lust pulsed into Sirius’ bloodstream. Catching a lip between his teeth, he feasted on Remus enjoying such simple pleasure, only shaken from the sight when Remus absentmindedly dragged the plate closer.

Sirius slapped his spoon gently across Remus’ hand. “Hey – you agreed to share,” he teased.

In a flash, Remus’ hand twisted around his own and stole the offending spoon.

“Oh dear,” he said lightly, smiling ruefully at Sirius’ startled expression. He raised the spoon and considered it, glancing cheekily at Sirius. “ _Now_ how will you share – there is no spoon.”

Sirius’ mouth fell open, a choked laugh slipping past his lips. “You’re a nerd,” he grinned affectionately.

Remus laughed. “Apparently so are you. But still – if I don’t give this back then how will you share? Fancy bribing me?”

“Oh, I don’t think so. You didn’t want to share anyway, right?” Sirius used his stuffiest tone. He lifted the dish of panna cotta and glanced at Remus before wriggling his tongue out and slowly lapping the dessert into his mouth.

Remus’ palm slammed against the table, rattling their glasses. “Fuck...”

Sirius grinned triumphantly. “Do I win, then?”

Remus smiled and swiped a finger down Sirius’ nose, whipping some cream away. “Maybe for now,” he conceded enigmatically.

Dawdling over mugs of frothy chocolate, they eventually walked back to the car, close together but never quite touching. The drive was punctuated with friendly silence and Sirius was amazed by how at ease he felt – infatuated, aroused, and utterly comfortable.

Once parked in the driveway Sirius paused before asking, “Need me to walk you to the door?”

“Oh, I think I should be safe enough.”

Sirius stared at Remus for a moment. “You’re right,” he said softly.

“Oh? What about?”

“I’m still going to kiss you, fungus-mouth.”

And he did. Bending across the console, Sirius dragged a hand around Remus’ neck and pressed their mouths together.

Prickles of soft electricity shivered up his spine and burst apart. Remus felt _perfect_ , straining eagerly towards him. His lips slid soft against Sirius’, slightly rough and very willing.

Gasping a thrilled breath, Sirius grabbed whatever part of Remus he could, trying to absorb his soft mischief and steady warmth. Remus met his every touch with smooth enthusiasm, keen hands sliding over his body – up his arm, around his neck, into his hair. It pulled loose and tumbled free, Remus’ fingers twining deliciously through it. Sirius moaned, deepening the kiss.

They finally drew apart and Sirius tipped his head into Remus’ hands, enjoying his long fingers combing through it. Carefully, he asked, “Are you sure I can’t walk you to the door?”

Remus stared at him in a way Sirius couldn’t quite read, but which made him unaccountably nervous. “I’m sure. I’d better go now – for both of our sakes. Good night, Sirius. Thank you.”

He kissed Sirius again quickly, then peeled his body out of the car.

The drive home seemed easier in a way that had very little to do with the decreased traffic.

It wasn’t until he got out of the car that Sirius realised his red ribbon was gone.

l-l

... Meanwhile, James and Regulus have met up for their evening together. Regulus is lying to himself about the strength of his desire to earn James’ sunshine-smile, while James suspects Regulus might just be his particular brand of awesome...

l-l

_James_

“Nice pub,” James grinned, reclining lazily across the bench seat. “Not the kind of place I’d have expected of you.”

“Oh?” Regulus arched a sharp brow and eyed-him blankly. “And what would you expect from me?”

“You tell me,” James said with a wink.

Regulus was staring at him with a frown.

“What is it?”

“Do – do you _curl_ your eyelashes?”

A slow, teasing grin stretched across James’ face. “Hark who’s talking, Mr Mascara.”

“This is aesthetic,” Regulus sneered. “What’s your reason?”

“My lashes are too long. They brush against my specs and annoy me.” James batted relentless eyes at Regulus’ dubious expression until it cracked into a smile, then reached for his hand and squeezed it. “Now, _that’s_ better – smiling works very well for your aesthetic too. Just for the record.”

Regulus’ mouth tightened but he did not move his hand away. His dark eyes were soft but he seemed oddly nervous and ill-used to small talk. “So, your mate’s gone out with my brother tonight.”

“Yes,” James agreed. “And if you’re trying to figure out if Remus is an okay bloke – well, he’s my best friend so I’m hardly going to say otherwise, am I? But we’re not here to talk about them. I want to talk about _you_.”

They watched each other lightly, Regulus’ expression giving nothing away. At length he said boldly, “What do you want to know?”

“Tell me how we met,” James replied cheerily, shifting his pint as their meals arrived.

“Excuse me?” Regulus sounded incredulous.

James rephrased, smirking gently.  “Why’d you come to the cafe? It was clearly your first visit.”

“Oh. Well, it was because of your reputation actually.”

James reached over and grabbed chips off of Regulus’ side-plate, earning him a look of bemused outrage. He spoke even as he shoved them into his mouth. “The cafe’s rep? Or mine specifically?”

“You’re well overdue for a dent in that ego, aren’t you? Obviously I’d never heard of _you_.  We were there because of the cafe’s rep for being queer-safe.”

James swallowed. “I’m glad of that,” he said seriously. “But please note, Regulus – you _can’t_ dent my ego. I know exactly what I’m worth.”

Regulus didn’t seem to know what to say, so settled for slapping James’ hand as he sneaked towards his chips again. “Cut it out, James,” he snapped, looking more astonished than cross.

“Oh I’m sorry. Here, let me share too.” James scooped two long fingers into his mashed potatoes and held them out to Regulus, nodding gentle encouragement. Slowly, almost in spite of himself, Regulus leaned forwards and closed his mouth around James’ fingers.

His lips were soft, hot tongue sliding along James’ fingers. Frowning, he quickly drew back. James met his eyes and smoothly licked his fingers clean, flicking a flirty eyebrow before easily returning to their chat.

“I’m glad the Wolfbucks has a friendly reputation,” he said. “God knows these spaces are needed and we like to do our small part. Even if you and I want to kill each other by the end of the night, you’ll always be welcome there, Regulus.”

“Thanks,” Regulus said. “Actually, Sirius and I do a bit of activism as well...”

Conversation became increasingly easier as the night went on and the pub bustled around them. James found himself utterly absorbed by Regulus’ understated passions and tightly-reined assertiveness. It amazed and intrigued him; flirting and prompting gently as Regulus relaxed with him, James delighted in his slow unravelling.

Surprise glinted in Regulus’ assessing eyes as he suddenly fell silent. “I just want to tell you everything,” he said. He didn’t sound happy about it.

“Of course you do,” James smiled. “I’m charming.”

“Right.” Regulus’ slow drawl was filled with disbelief. “I’m really not sure that’s it.”

“Oh? Shall I prove it?” James asked, quirking an eyebrow. Without warning he launched around the table and skittered along the bench. Regulus shied back, looking startled as James slid close and dropped a hand to his knee, fingers tapping an idle rhythm. “Do you want me to charm you?”

Breath hitching slightly, Regulus grumbled, “You can try.”

“Hm, I don’t think I really need to try,” James said, smiling. His fingers slid sideways. “Do I?”

There was a hungry weight in Regulus’ gaze, strained reserve. At long last he said, “No. You’ve got me.” Looking appalled with himself, Regulus coiled back. “Fuck – I ... I didn’t mean...”

Grinning widely, James hooked a hand around Regulus’ neck, thumb brushing across his cheekbone. “Totally fine. We’re gonna go out again, alright?”

Regulus tipped into his touch. “I uh ... could use some air.”

James slid his thumb down, rubbing it slow and firm over Regulus’ lip. “Of course. C’mon, it’s getting late anyway.”

“Oh!” Regulus grabbed James’ hand as he moved away. “That’s not what I meant. I thought ... we were just warming up here!”

James dragged him out of the booth. “Swayed by my pretty face, huh? Anyway,” a promissory edge entered his tone, “I only said it was getting late. I didn’t say the night was over.”

“Christ.” Regulus rolled his eyes but sounded more eager than James suspected he wanted. His arm slipped through James’. “Where’re we going?”

“Oh, nowhere.”

They wandered aimlessly back towards the car, walking long and slow around the park. “Pity it’s locked,” James said. “Would’ve been a nice walk tonight – and quicker.”

Regulus shrugged. “At least the jasmine smells nice no matter which side of the fence we’re on.”

“Hm. D’you know Regulus, a lot of people consider jasmine to be an aphrodisiac.”

There was a beat of silence, then: “Oh my god James. Just shut up.”

“Yes dear.” James enjoyed the shiver his words sent through Regulus.

They reached the car and James paused ... Regulus was right there, hard and hot and attractive, biting his lip with a loaded stare. He carefully stepped closer, sliding an arm around James’ back.

Eyeing him lazily, James was torn between grabbing Regulus and snogging him senseless or dragging out the confused frustration simply for the fun of watching him squirm. Either option would be rather entertaining.

Deciding, he reached arrogantly for the door handle but Regulus slammed into him, shoving him against the car. He pinned James with a hungry kiss, thrusting a firm palm to the front of his trousers. James rocked pleasantly into his palm and made a smug, impressed noise. He met the kiss keenly, smoothly taking charge with each soft slide of lip.

Regulus drew back long moments later, glaring. “You’re not even trying, are you? You’re _infuriating_.”

“True on both accounts,” James said, brushing his mouth along Regulus’ jaw. “But I could be worse.” He pressed a hand leisurely down Regulus’ lean belly and hooked his fingers through a belt loop.

Regulus pushed him back, staring at him with gleaming dark eyes. His voice was low and rough. “I want you to be worse.”

James studied his face and grinned slowly. “Good...”

l-l

James proceeds to drag Regulus into the back seat of his car. He blows him, which is very nice.

Tune in next chapter to see our happy heroes handle the emotional aftermath of their first dates.


	3. Post-Date

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys dish the dirt on their first dates.

When last we left off, our intrepid romantics were each winding down their night with hot beverages and happy smiles.

At the moment, Regulus and Sirius are sharing selective details of their individual experiences...

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_Regulus_

Regulus threw himself onto the couch, glancing at Sirius with a carefully neutral expression. “How was your night, brother?”

Toying with his hair, Sirius’ frown pulled myriad expressions across his face. His cool eyes met Regulus’.  “You’re later than I expected.”

“But perfectly fine as you can see, so stop worrying,” Regulus replied pointedly, stretching his legs out.

“Someone has to worry about you,” Sirius said shortly. “So – did you have a nice time?”

Regulus failed to keep his face expressionless. “Rather, yes.”

Darkly squinting, Sirius asked, “Did James treat you properly? Was he a gentleman?”

“We had a perfectly splendid time, Sirius, and he never put a hand anywhere I didn’t want him to.”

Sirius’ eyebrows slid impossibly high. “Did you get off with him?”

Regulus met his brother’s incredulous indignation with a haughty indifference, countering, “Did you get off with yours?”

Sirius paused, hands tangling in his hair again. “No,” he said slowly. “Fucking cock-tease left me hanging.”

“Oh please,” Regulus said comfortably. “We both know you don’t on the first date.”

Sirius affectionately threw him a _bras d’honneur_ and they both laughed. A moment later Sirius murmured, “I absolutely would’ve gone with Remus tonight though, Reg ... fucking hell, I don’t know what it is, but there’s something about him that just...”

Regulus only half listened as Sirius began to rhapsodise about his date. Instead he made some vague encouraging sounds and allowed his mind to wander through smiling memories of his own evening. He kept thinking about the sparkle in James’ eyes and the subtle fire of life that crackled through his mad hair and ridiculous wit.

That constant, exuberant confidence baffled and frustrated Regulus – and typically he wasn’t easily flustered. James managed it without even trying which annoyed and intrigued him in equal parts. Used to feeling quite sure in most situations, Regulus found it odd that James so easily left him reeling in such delightful ways. He enjoyed it far more than he would ever have thought.

He had also enjoyed James’ wonderfully athletic body trapped between him and the car door, cock pressed into his hand. His attempt to fluster James had been a drastic failure, but Regulus was hardly complaining considering the marvellous result the effort had earned him.

James’ hair was surprisingly soft. Regulus had twisted it too tight and James had eased his hands loose with a patient smile; his mouth was certainly skilled at more than just cheeky grins. The memory sent vibrations of lust up Regulus’ spine.

But the nicest part had definitely been afterwards. James had crept over him, covering Regulus’ body with his own, surprisingly gentle and very warm. He kissed like he’d been born for it, slow and tender and hopelessly consuming.

Regulus had wanted to return the pleasure, but the moment his fingers brushed James’ waistband a firm hand stopped him, twining their fingers together. “It’s not a points system,” James had whispered before absorbing in with another soul-devouring kiss...

“You alright?” Sirius’ voice cut sharp through his daydreams. “What’s that look about?”

Pushing a sneer onto his face to cover his sudden embarrassment, Regulus cleared his throat. “What look?”

Sirius’ glare was foreboding. “That glassy look, like you’re utterly smitten with this guy.”

“You’re projecting,” Regulus said promptly, heaving himself off the couch. “I’m just tired. I’m gonna have a shower and head to bed. Night Sirius.”

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While Regulus is yet reluctant to be too forthcoming with his brother, James and Remus are not similarly restrained...

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_Remus_

“I’ve got tea for you,” Remus called when he heard the door open. A moment later a scruffy head appeared around the doorframe.

“Why are you here? I had plans for a shower,” James said, grinning broadly as he stepped into the room and flopped into the armchair beside Remus’. He took the proffered cup with a thankful blink.

“Yours is mine, Prongs,” Remus said with a knowing smile. “So, you little tramp – what do the genetics suggest I have to look forward to?”

James glanced at him. They knew each other too well for him to claim innocence. Slyly he said, “Moony, I don’t kiss and tell.”

Remus snorted. “James, please – I do not want to hear about the kissing. Give me the good stuff.”

Quietly impressed, he listened attentively as James described his date in considerable, rather explicit detail, complete with excited hand gestures.

“Well, good for you James,” Remus said when the sordid story was done. “So, d’you reckon he’s gonna be a regular customer then?”

“Of _course_ Moony. Who could stay away from this?” James collapsed against the seat, gracing Remus with a contented smile. “Well, how was your night? Did you like him?”

Remus stared into his tea for a long time before answering. Finally he raised the cup, pausing before taking a mouthful to say simply, “I did.”

James rolled his eyes. “I need more than that, Moony.”

Remus spared him an indulgent smile. “He’s goddamn hot, how’s that?”

“Did you fuck him?”

Remus sipped calmly. “No.”

James wriggled closer, looking more interested. “Now that’s unusual – why not? Was he not up for it ... or have your rules come into play?”

“I don’t have rules, Prongs. I’m just a decent person.”

A slow, insightful grin stretched across James’ face. “Uh huh. So ... is it just him or did you feel something too?”

“Oh, fuck off,” Remus said, smiling at him.

“So ... _wow_. It’s been a long time Moony.”

“I know.” Remus frowned. The inarticulate, frustrated thought he’d been circling over finally burst from him. “I just wanted a shag! Why does he have to be so...” Remus gestured uselessly.

James’ voice was soft. “What’s that in your hand, Moony?”

Frown deepening, Remus looked down at the scarlet ribbon he’d stolen. “Sirius was wearing it.”

“Now why didn’t I think of getting a souvenir?” James mused jokingly. “Right Moony, d’you wanna talk about tonight or can I go and shower now?”

“As if you’re going anywhere until I tell you everything,” Remus said, a grin tugging at his mouth. “Go on then, ask me all your inappropriate questions.”

“You said nothing happened. C’mon Moony, I want to know about the feelings!”

Remus cringed, weaving the ribbon between his fingers. “It’s just a tiny spark of interest. It may not go anywhere so don’t go getting your hopes up, Prongs.”

“What’d it feel like?” James said, leaning his head against the seatback and gazing limpidly at Remus. “This _tiny_ spark?”

“Like ... a match flaring in my chest,” Remus mumbled, hiding behind his mug. “Oh, _fuck_.”

“Feelings are good, Moony, just go with it. You are seeing him again, right?”

A tiny, surprised crease formed between Remus’ brows. He glanced up. “Ah ... we actually didn’t say.”

James laughed. “You stole his ribbon and he let you close enough to do it – trust me, you’re going out with him again. In the meantime just enjoy the happy.”

Remus scowled. “It doesn’t feel happy. It feels weird.”

“That’s because it’s been so long. And because you left yourself blue-balled, you complete idiot.”

“Oh? As opposed to you?” Remus arched an eyebrow.

“I get off on delayed gratification.”

“Oh for fuck’s sake – alright, go and have a shower then you utter child.” James leaned close to kiss Remus on the cheek and he shied away, laughing. “And brush your teeth, fuck it!”

James headed for the door, joyfully calling over his shoulder, “Make us some more tea, would you? Late start tomorrow means late night tonight!”

“Yes Prongs.” Remus shooed him, the ribbon twined around his fingers flashing bright.

The scrap of scarlet had been incredibly attractive brushing along the pale skin of Sirius’ neck. Remus had just wanted to feel his hair but a strange primal need had stirred in him; a want to possess that tiny personal item. He was both surprised and annoyed by how desperately he was clinging to something so trivial. The ribbon smelled like rosemary, warm from his constant fiddling.

Silent and pensive, Remus pressed it to his mouth. He wasn’t prepared to admit that he felt anything other inside-trouser feelings just yet.

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Remus soon goes to make tea as James sorts himself out. They sit up well into the night talking and laughing and generally being their wonderful selves. Someway across town, Regulus and Sirius are each drifting amongst the most pleasurable of dreams.

Stay tuned for our next exciting instalment, where all the boys return to the cafe!


	4. Cafe Lunchtime

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Regulus and Sirius return to Wolfbucks Cafe and James and Remus proceed to publicly fluster them.

Chapter 4

An unspecified but completely appropriate amount of time passes and the brothers Black decide to return to the Wolfbucks Cafe for lunch.

The atmosphere is lively with speculation about what could have caused the sudden upswing in the owners’ moods...

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_James_

“They’re all talking about us, Moony,” James said, sliding an arm around Remus’ waist. He was deftly shaken away.

“Oh?”

“Yes, apparently you’re looking _positively dreamy_. The group at that table are placing bets on us ‘finally’ being an item – I overheard them say that they ship us.”

“Shut the fuck up, Prongs. I’m busy.” Remus pushed some foamy cups at a waitress.

Ignoring him, James pointed at other customers, winking when they noticed him and collapsed in nervous giggles. “You did custom coffees for that lot, so they’re hoping that you’re sweet on one of them.” Remus snorted and James laughed. “But a lot of the patrons are just thrilled by seeing me so marvellously joyful.”

“You look like a giddy idiot. For fuck’s sake Prongs, it was only _one date_ , even if you did get off together.” Remus affectionate grin gave lie to his words.

“Ah Moony, just look how enthralled the regulars are at seeing us both so happy though!”

Remus threw him an indulgent smile. “Yes James. And they’ll all keep flirting with you and getting keen on me and nothing will change, except that _you_ will be even more insufferable than usual.”

James kissed Remus’ cheek and said in seriousness, “Keeps us in business, love.”

“Save your kisses for the young chap, Prongs.” Remus tipped a smile towards the door. Regulus had just stepped inside with Sirius in tow.

Vaulting around the counter, James bounded over to them. He caught Regulus in a sweeping hug and kissed him warm and hard in full view of everyone.

The cafe erupted in sound – a clamour of dropped silverware and approving cheers. Regulus froze for a moment, an air of mortification breathing from him before he relaxed against James’ chest and met the kiss with reserved willingness.

“James! Stop mauling the customers and get back to work!”

A balled-up tea towel thudded into James’ back. A moment later Remus was beside him wearing a cheeky grin. He coiled a hand into the hair at James’ nape and dragged him away.

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_Remus_

Depositing James behind the counter, Remus returned to the brothers in time to hear Sirius saying, “Maybe we shouldn’t come here for lunch after all, Reg.”

Regulus carefully schooled his features back into constructed neutrality and didn’t answer.

“Oh, just ignore Prongs.” Remus glared across at James who leaned on the counter and gave them all a cheery wave. “The customers love it when he’s a twat. C’mon, there’s a table free over here.”

Resting his hand in the small of Sirius’ back, Remus gently urged him forwards. Surprised muscles rippled under his fingers as Remus edged his hand down and grabbed Sirius’ arse.

Starting violently, Sirius glanced at him. Meeting the expression with one of seamless blandness, Remus gauged his reaction – resounding approval.

After taking their order Remus retreated to the coffee machine, surreptitiously eying the pair. Regulus was boldly watching James, his eyes scorching. Sirius looked distracted and irritable and frustratingly untouchable in his suit, sleek hair neatly coiled above his collar.

Remus wanted to rumple him.

That obviously not being an option, he determined instead to fluster Sirius’ business composure. Remus wished he had the stolen ribbon with him – seeing Sirius’ reaction was something he was looking forward to.

Remus delivered the drinks himself. Throwing Sirius a mischievous smile, he leaned graceful and slow across the table as he pushed Regulus’ cup over, making absolutely sure that Sirius had enough time to check out his arse.

Some coffee sloshed accidentally over his hand. Wincing as he straightened up, Remus suddenly caught the glazed look on Sirius’ face and twitched a smile. He said mildly, “Oops, my mistake. Still ... there’s no point in wasting good coffee, hm?”

Remus stuck his fingers in his mouth and deftly licked them clean. Sirius squirmed, a flush rising beneath his collar. Smirking, Remus’ turned and walked away, slowly drying his hand on the back of his trousers.

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_Regulus_

“Coming here was a bad idea,” Regulus said after they’d eaten. He stared at James, who was frowning over an account record and twisting a pen between his teeth. His lips looked wonderfully soft.

“Agreed,” Sirius snapped, frowning into his cup. “This is the worst.”

“And the best,” Regulus murmured as James looked up and grinned. He swung around the counter and headed for them.

“Oh joy, here comes yours,” Sirius brooded.

Moments later James was draped across their table. “So,” he grinned, grabbing Regulus’ hand. “What time are we going out tonight?”

Regulus froze, his eyes fixed on the flashes of taut skin showing beneath the hem of James’ shirt. He mumbled the earliest time he could think of, furious at the smile turning his mouth.

“Hang on, what?” Sirius grouched. “You’re going out just like that, but I could barely get a word out of Remus!”

James laughed, head rolling towards Sirius. “Well, that’s Moony for you.”

Regulus watched appreciatively as James slithered off the table; his shirt pulled loose and flashed a stripe of rippling muscle. With a grinning bow to the openly watching cafe patrons, James returned to his bookwork.

Regulus noticed Sirius’ black look and flicked a teasing eyebrow. “I’m not sharing.”

“Oh please.” Sirius leaned back and planted his feet on the table. “Yours might be all sunshine and bubbles, but maturity speaks for itself. I’m gonna get further quicker than you are.”

Regulus swallowed the laughter burbling in his chest. “Is that right?” he asked dispassionately. “How would you even know, brother?”

Sirius eyed him haughtily. “Twenty quid says I get the first blow job.”

Regulus choked on his coffee. He spluttered, “Uh, well ... better pay up then.”

A thunderous expression crossed Sirius’ face. “ _What?!_ ” They both turned to look at James; he ignored them, but Remus glanced up, all vague curiosity. Sirius hissed, “Reg you went on _one_ date!”

“And what a date it was. Did I not tell you?” Regulus knew he hadn’t.

Sirius scowled. “You said he was a gentleman!”

“He was.” Regulus leered. “So ... you still wanna make a bet?”

“Fucking yes,” Sirius said.

“Fine,” Regulus snatched up a serviette. Sirius pulled a pen from his jacket. Together they began to scratch out a wager.

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_Sirius_

A pulse of competition lingered after they drew up their list of bets. Sirius let it spur him towards the counter after Regulus departed for classes.

Remus was brewing something that looked rather elaborate and complex.

“Sirius,” he smiled warmly. “Just a minute...”

Once the order was in the hands of a waitress Remus turned to him, raising a questioning eyebrow. Perching his elbows on the counter, Sirius bent forwards, dripping false confidence. “So, are you free tonight?”

“Oh, I’m afraid not,” Remus replied politely.

Faltering suddenly, Sirius asked, “You ... do want to go out again, I hope? We never actually said.”

Remus considered him for too long a moment.

“I mean it’s fine if you don’t want to ... but if that’s the case then I’ll have to ask that you stop the flirting because obviously if Reg and James keep going out we’ll end up seeing each other sometimes and – _argh!_ ”

Sirius nearly face-planted the counter as Remus knocked his elbow from under him, grinning mischievously. He leant painfully close and slowly murmured, “Are you always this uncool?”

Sirius couldn’t decide whether to laugh or glare. He settled on a stuffy tone. “Certainly not.”

“Hm.” Remus sounded disbelieving. “We’ll go out tomorrow if you’re free.  And ... I’ll call you tonight once I’m home. If you like.”

“I do like,” Sirius said, proud of the level of flippancy he managed.

“Alright Sirius.” Remus’ brow twitched. “You know, I’m meant to be working but you are just too distracting.” Remus brushed his lips against Sirius’ mouth, soft and too swift. He paused, resting their cheeks together. “Mm. You smell great...”

Sirius shivered. Beaming, he left the cafe amidst a gamut of jealous stares and approving murmurs.

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It is apparent our four champions enjoy playing their games with each other!

In the next thrilling episode of Cafe Boys however, we explore just how James copes when Regulus attempts to tip their balance of power...


	5. Jegulus

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> James and Regulus go out and test their boundaries.

 

Our last instalment finished with each of our four delightfully improbable lads suffering varying degrees of frustration regarding their interpersonal relationships.

The story picks up again as Regulus attempts to restore some sanity to his emotional equilibrium while on a date with James, who simply doesn’t care about that sort of thing...

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_Regulus_

“Where the hell did you get those?” Regulus asked, equally baffled and exasperated.

“Oh, I have my ways,” James said, throwing him a cheeky grin as he craftily tucked a straw into the hair of the man sitting in front of them. A moment later he reared back and joined the crowd hollering at a foul against their team.

James was certainly the most obnoxious person Regulus had ever been out with, yet he took such cheerful pleasure in everything that Regulus couldn’t help but like him.

“Ref’s a goddamn idiot,” James said without heat as he delicately balanced a large leaf in a woman’s plait.

Regulus peered at him. “Are you always a jerk?”

Gently tugging Regulus’ nose ring, James replied with a sibilant, “ _Yes_.” The he paused, a momentary seriousness crossing his expression. “Does it make you uncomfortable?”

Regulus considered the oblivious patrons seated around them and the childish, ridiculous annoyingness of James’ non-malicious pranks. There was something amusing about them. “Not as much as I think it should,” he admitted.

James smiled and rubbed a hand through Regulus’ hair. “Always tell me, okay? I am actually capable of not being a dickhead ... even if I prefer to be.”

“I’ll tell you,” Regulus assured. He blinked surprise when James firmly grabbed his hand and twined their fingers together.

“Hold my hand and I can’t use it for naughty things,” James grinned. Before Regulus could respond though James had lurched out of his seat, cheering with a wave of excited sportsmen as their team scored. His shirt slid up invitingly; Regulus didn’t even try not to stare. “Fucking yes!” James bellowed, then turned and kissed Regulus hard on the mouth.

Every goal resulted in an enthusiastic snog from James. Their team won the match and they left in good spirits. Regulus was not ready to let the night end – he wanted more than kisses. With some force he asked, “So, are we gonna get a drink?”

“Yes. And ice cream,” James said, knocking lightly against him.

The night was cool and fresh. They walked holding hands and Regulus quietly enjoyed James’ animated chatter as they discussed football.

“I’ll have to see you play sometime,” Regulus said.

“I’m very good,” James grinned. “And likewise.”

Regulus scoffed. “I’m only on a college team.”

“And I’m _only_ in a pub league, what’s your point? I’d still like to see you in little shorts, running around getting all sweaty... what’s your ball play like?”

Sudden heat rushed through Regulus, suffusing his blood with lusty need. He forced a shallow breath and kept his voice indifferent. “For fuck’s sake, James. Shut your mouth for five minutes.”

James batted long, suggestive eyelashes at him then pressed a chaste kiss to Regulus’ cheek. He kept obediently silent as they dragged one another down the street.

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_James_

Regulus was checking him out. And he wasn’t even being subtle about it.

James definitely appreciated the attention – he was just as keen to get Regulus out of his moody clothes, utterly desperate to smudge that eyeliner. Smiling lightly, James raised his arms and stretched through the shoulders with a satisfying murmur.

Regulus’ eyes were glued to the hem of his shirt; he gently gnawed a plump lip.

James noticed. Smirking, he tugged off his glasses and stuck the arm between his teeth. “You okay there, Reggie?”

Something fizzled in Regulus’ dark eyes as he glanced up. “What did you call me?”

James reached over and began rubbing slow circles across the soft skin inside Regulus’ wrist. He forced an enticing heaviness into his voice. “Reggie. You don’t like it?”

They gazed at one another for long, moments laced with shivering tension. James fumbled his glasses back on and Regulus swallowed, a crease pulling above his brows. He said quietly, “You move too fast ... or not fast enough. I’m not sure which it is.”

Deliberately dropping the moment, James shrugged smugly and leaned back as he lifted his pint. Regulus looked unsure and flustered and James couldn’t resist a flippant tease. “I move at just the right speed. So ... what time’s your first class tomorrow?” he asked lightly.

The effect of the words on Regulus was utterly delightful, his breath catching as a flush crept around his ears. He eyed James with poorly concealed hunger, assessing him hopefully then replied, “One o’clock.”

James swallowed the dregs of his lager and popped the glass down. “That’s nice.”

Regulus looked furious.

His frustration lashed forth when James stood to leave. Regulus grabbed him fiercely, needy hands coiling in his shirt as he wrenched James into a hot, confused kiss. Both palms stroked firm down his body, fingers dipping beneath his shirt and pressing desperately against his abs.

Laughing against Regulus’ lips, James eased him back. “Why’re you so eager?” he queried affectionately, pushing back a lock of Regulus’ floppy hair. “We’ve got plenty of time. And I want my damned ice cream first, c’mon.”

Plainly infuriated, Regulus stomped along as James steered him lazily towards his favourite ice-cream parlour. They ordered from the street-counter and walked back to the car, resting on a bench beside the park and breathing in the light-wafting scent of night jasmine.

James’ ice-cream sandwich was melting over his fingers; he licked them clean and grinned when Regulus glanced up with glazed eyes.

“Oh, did you fancy a taste?” James beamed as he scooped some ice-cream up. Before he could move Regulus grabbed his hand and sucked James’ fingers hard into his mouth. Their eyes met, dark gazes locked together.

James’ control fractured for a moment as Regulus’ stare burned into him. His grip was hard around James’ wrist, lips sliding firm and slow down sticky fingers. James had no doubts about what was in his mind.

Slowly, carefully, James withdrew his hand. Forcibly resisting the urge to shove Regulus across the bench and devour him, James tried to cool his heated blood with the ice-cream and quickly bundled Regulus firmly into the car, leaving no opportunity to repeat the antics of their first date.

Settling behind the wheel, James smiled lightly at Regulus’ scowl. Clearly pissed off, he nonetheless looked somewhat rattled and uncertain. “So ... you’re taking me home are you?” he grumbled unhappily.

“Do you want to go home?” James asked neutrally, starting the car and pulling into traffic.

There was an unsteady pause. “Well ... no.”

“So where would you like to go then?”

James ignored Regulus’ incredulous glare. He took great amusement in making Regulus say what he wanted, and was equally determined not to influence him further than he was comfortable.

“Well,” Regulus huffed, not quite managing to hide his scrappy uncertainty. “You’ve seen where I live, so why don’t you show me your place?”

A muscle pulled in James’ cheek as he suppressed a smile. “You mean the front door? Trust me Reg, mine isn’t very different to yours.”

Rolling his eyes, Regulus snapped. “You could let me _inside_.”

“Well yes, I suppose I could,” James agreed. “But that’s incredibly presumptuous of you – why on earth would you wish to come into my house?”

He could practically _hear_ how badly Regulus wanted to kick him in the face, but also sensed just how attractive he found the behaviour. Hesitancy filled the air as Regulus clearly debated how much to say. Finally he reached over and rested a hand against James’ arm. “If you don’t let me into your house then how do you expect me to climb into your bed?”

Explosive need shattered in James’ brain. His excitement prevented him from managing a steady tone. “Okay. My place it is.”

The drive felt long despite the low traffic, punctuated with easy talk. As soon as James parked the car Regulus was on him, all purposeful kisses and hard, clumsy touches. James met his eagerness with a more refined enthusiasm designed to efficiently get Regulus riled up.

It worked. Pulling back, Regulus gasped, “How late can I stay?”

Dragging in a shaky breath himself, James smiled. “As late as you like.”

Looking reassured, Regulus murmured roughly, “Okay.”

James stalled him as he reached for the door handle. “Reggie ... whenever you’re ready to leave, make sure you let me know. Doesn’t matter why or what time, okay?”

Regulus’ eyes shone a vibrant blue. Stretching across the console to kiss James again, he whispered, “I will.”

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_Remus_

 “James just got home,” Remus said, tapping his tongue stud against his teeth.

“ _What_?” Sirius’ voice grated down the phone line. “Well, Reg isn’t back ... is he with him?”

Remus watched mildly as two figures traipsed up the front steps far below. “Yes.”

Turning away from the window, Remus contentedly sipped his whiskey and went to make sure the door to the party stair-hall was closed.

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While Regulus might be beginning to find firmer footing with James, our next enthralling chapter explores just how much Sirius still has to learn about handling Remus...


	6. Wolfstar

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Remus and Sirius go on their second date. Cue the flirty teasing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We pick up exactly where we left off. Hope you enjoy!

Our intrepid young folk are currently preoccupied with hormones and infatuation. While Regulus and James are hiding inside a dark bedroom exploring the fine intricacies of fornication, Remus engages Sirius in tipsy conversation in anticipation of their upcoming date...

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_Remus_

“So if you have all this time to talk then why weren’t you free to actually see me tonight?” Sirius asked.

“More fun for me to make you wait,” Remus dissembled, pouring a measure of whiskey. “It helps me get a proper gauge of your interest.”

“You’re a twat!” Sirius laughed.

A sweep of headlights glancing through the window distracted Remus for a few minutes; James had arrived home with Regulus in tow.

After checking his door, Remus headed to the bedroom and flopped against the pillows. Sourly, Sirius said, “I was going to ask if it was too late for me to come over but if Reg is there I think it best I stay away.” His voice took a decidedly flirty edge. “Maybe I can sleep over tomorrow night instead?”

Startled, Remus coughed. He rejoined smartly, “I don’t let anyone sleep over me, Sirius. I might let you have a sleep _under_.”

There was a strangled, garbled noise on the other end of the connection. Remus chuckled, all soft smugness. Finally Sirius choked out, “Tell me more about a sleep under?”

Remus hit the speaker button and put his phone down, idly swigging his drink. “Well, typically it involves sleeping under something – blankets, for example. Have you never tried it?”

There was a protracted silence. Sirius’ hesitancy was marred with annoyance. “But ... I thought you meant...”

“Some euphemism perhaps? That comes _before_ the sleeping.” Remus said vaguely, pausing for a long moment to savour his whiskey. “And you’ll still be under.”

“Fuck.” Sirius almost sounded breathless. “Yes, please.”

“Well, we’ll see how well behaved you are tomorrow.”

Before Sirius could respond Remus firmly steered the conversation away from flirting, refusing to let the buzz of alcohol pull him into a temptation he wasn’t yet ready to yield to.

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The following day passes in conflicting perceptions of time:

Seeking distraction, Remus rises early and leaves for the cafe before James is out of bed.

Too distracted, Sirius leaves work at lunchtime and thrashes around the house until Regulus arrives home after his classes...

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_Sirius_

“Why don’t I have anything to wear?” Sirius hollered in exasperation. “Reg, I need your help!”

“Oh, what?” Regulus stepped into the bedroom; Sirius deliberately ignored the secret glow in his eyes.

“I need something that will make me attractive!”

Regulus rolled his eyes, clearly too sexed-up to care. He grabbed a few things and tossed them roughly at Sirius. “That’ll get you laid, now fuck off.” He left.

Sirius raked his eyes over the items Regulus had picked. A slow smile stretched over his face and he pushed his kevlar jeans aside before shoving himself into a pair of leather trousers.

Remus was waiting on the steps when Sirius dismounted his motorcycle. He removed his helmet in a sexy flourish of flicked back hair. Judging by Remus’ expression, he had succeeded in his attempt to wow.

“Is this a fetish I need to be aware of?” Remus asked blandly in place of a hello. His hungry eyes raked appreciatively over Sirius’ leather-clad hips.

“You tell me.” Sirius arched an eyebrow and dragged Remus into a welcoming hug.

As Sirius stepped back Remus rolled his eyes and pulling him into a sweet, lingering kiss. He licked his lips after, a tiny line creasing his brow. “Is that ... cherry?”

“You know it,” Sirius grinned. “Ready then?”

Remus was a good pillion, warm and steady as they wove through the traffic. They settled in the park with a picnic, sprawled together in the grass beside the river. Conversation came easily, split with gentle flirting as the sun set. The swans ignored them in favour of sifting water.

“Oh, tonight is lovely,” Remus said, wriggling his jumper off. His shirt rode fantastically high. Sirius’ eyes dragged desirously to the exposed line of firm abdomen.

A sudden flash of colour caught Sirius’ eye, it was his lost ribbon. Remus had it neatly tied around his wrist.

He reached out, astonished. “Did you take this?”

Remus stretched across the lawn, tucking his arms under his head and snatching the ribbon away from Sirius’ touch. “Yes.” He shifted, jeans slipping slightly.

Sirius was immediately distracted by the warm stretch of skin between waistband and raised, rumpled top. The lines of a tattoo coursed under the hem. “You’re inked!”

“I am,” Remus agreed, poking his tongue out and flashing his stud. “And pierced.”

Hot blood pulsed through Sirius’ body. Remus wriggled into the turf again; it _had_ to be deliberate. Sirius’ fingers twitched, desperate to reach out and touch.

Remus noticed. “Go on then.”

Startled, Sirius glanced at him. Remus looked relaxed and amused and fantastically sexy. “Really?”

“Mhm.” Remus’ eyes floated shut as Sirius reached out and rested tentative fingertips on his back. He shivered and so did Sirius.

“I thought I’d lost it you know,” Sirius said absently, brushing his fingers up the lines of ink. He reached Remus’ top and paused.

“What’s that?” Remus asked, shifting against Sirius’ hand; a green light to keep exploring.

Sucking an unsteady breath, Sirius slid his fingers under Remus’ shirt. Unable to shift it enough to reveal the tattoo, he settled for stroking Remus’ spine with experimental touches, earning a soft sigh of approval.

“The ribbon,” Sirius continued. “I thought I’d lost it the night we went out. I got home and it was just ... gone.”

Remus didn’t answer. For a moment Sirius wondered if he’d actually fallen asleep – but no, he suddenly rolled over and Sirius’ hand ended up on his belly.

Their eyes met and held. It seemed Remus wanted to say a dozen different things. In the end he merely rested his hand over Sirius’ and said lightly, “We should probably go soon. They’ll be locking the park.”

“Oh ... right.”

Sirius managed to stay completely behaved until they reached the empty car park. Then Remus glanced at him and the streetlight reflected something that broke Sirius’ tenuous restraint.

He shoved Remus against the motorbike, easing him sideways onto the seat. Stepping neatly between Remus’ legs, Sirius threaded his fingers into his hair and kissed him.

In a smooth instant Remus took control. He grabbed Sirius’ waistband and yanked him forwards. The motorbike creaked slightly beneath them as the kiss deepened.

Remus pressed against him as Sirius scrabbled a hand around his wrist. The red ribbon was really there, soft warmth beneath his fingers. Sirius’ brain couldn’t comprehend something of his being on Remus’ body. His heart beat a hungry thud.

Remus hooked a leg around Sirius’ hips, pushing all thought from his mind. Sirius arched forwards but between leather and loose denim there was a painful lack of friction. Desperate for contact, he slipped a hand under Remus’ top, pressing tight.

Remus deliberately bit Sirius’ lip, ungently.

“ _Fuck_ , oh...” Sirius jerked back, sucking his lip. He met Remus’ gaze hotly. “Let’s go home, yeah?”

Remus laughed, offering him a rueful smile. “I’m not going home with you, Sirius.”

Sirius was gutted. His thumb brushed against the ribbon. “You’re not? But ... all of that sleep under stuff you said last night...”

Remus rubbed a hand slowly through Sirius’ hair. His voice was oddly subdued. “We’ll get there. There’s no rush, is there?”

“No,” Sirius allowed grumpily. “Except for Reg winning all the bets...”

“What?”

Sirius cringed. “Uh... Regulus and I may have a bit of sibling rivalry going on and might have made a wager about who would get certain ... perks first.”

“Is that right?” Remus sounded incredibly amused and Sirius relaxed. “Well ... we can’t allow that. C’mere.” Remus wrenched him in and closed his mouth hard on Sirius’ neck. Startled, he gasped and leaned into the touch, slithering an encouraging hand around Remus’ head.

Sirius pulled Remus’ hand to his lips, a tender kiss against the heel of his palm, beside the ribbon. A smothered whimper echoed in Remus’ throat, but when he finally released Sirius it was obvious that he was in total command of himself.

“There you go, Sirius ... make sure you button your collar tomorrow, hm?” Remus pressed his mouth to the hollow of Sirius’ throat with simple affection. “Home time now, okay?”

Trying to shake function back into his brain, Sirius said, “Yeah, okay.”

As they drove, Remus tucked a hand under Sirius’ shirt, firm palm on bare skin. It triggered ambivalent extremes of emotion.

They loitered in the driveway after making another date. There was an odd hesitancy about Remus that Sirius was reluctant to press – then Remus muttered, “Oh fuck it,” and kissed him. It began sweet and smooth, need increasing as Sirius fell into his touch, chasing the elusive tongue stud.

Their bodies moved flush. Sirius held Remus’ hand and squeezed his arse. Remus poked irritably at Sirius’ waistband. “These’re too tight,” he mumbled between kisses. “Can’t get my hand in...”

Sirius huffed against Remus’ stubble, pulling him closer. “I reckon your jeans are roomy enough for me,” he offered hopefully.

“You’d think so ... but I’m wearing a belt.” Remus’ words were a shaky sigh, but his step back was decisive.

“I can-”

“No, Sirius.” Remus’ voice was commendably calm given their position. An odd frustration hung about him, something that had nothing at all to do with sex.

Toying with the red ribbon, Sirius looked up and met Remus’ eyes. “You’re a fucking tease, Remus.”

“Flattery won’t get you inside,” Remus said lightly. He was frowning, gently assessing.

Sirius scowled. “I don’t mind waiting ... but you don’t make it fucking easy.”

“For the record, Sirius, neither do you,” Remus said. He tipped forward, resting his forehead to Sirius’. “And generally speaking, I _do_ mind waiting. Kiss me goodnight?”

Confused and unsatisfied, Sirius kissed him.

l-l

Why is Remus so enigmatic? Is he hiding something? When will Sirius finally get more than a love bite?

All will be revealed!

Well, possibly. Either way, the story goes on.


	7. Bath Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> James and Regulus have big night; Sirius has a work night; and Remus has a bath-night.

In this thrilling edition of Cafe Boys we attempt to answer the big questions!

How far did James and Regulus get during their night together? What the fuck is Remus’ playing at? And _why_ aren’t we seeing more of Sirius straddling a motorcycle in his leather trousers?

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_James_

“Well, tell me everything while it’s all fresh and shiny.” James pushed a cup of cocoa at Remus who slumped into the armchair beside him.

Half-smiling, Remus said, “Oh, and what about you last night?”

“Never mind my last night, you first. So – why didn’t you bring him inside? He looked fucking good in those trousers.”

Remus arched an eyebrow. “What the hell, James, were you watching through the window?”

“Only for the first ten minutes,” James lied. He’d glanced out once to check Remus was okay and then discreetly withdrawn. “So, you really are pretty sweet on him then?”

“Godssake James, it’s been two dates.”

“Uh huh. And that ribbon on your wrist speaks volumes.”

A tiny smile tweaked the corner of Remus’ mouth, eyes glossing in reminiscence. His voice was contrastingly aggressive. “Fine, perhaps I like him.”

James reached over and raked a soothing hand through Remus’ curls. “No maybes about it, Moony. You’ve caught the feelings for him.”

“Fuck it, but I hate catching feelings!”

James launched himself across the gap between their chairs. Remus squawked when James’ hug ended up in an awkward squash instead.

He spoke into Remus’ chest. “I know it’s hard for you Moony, but this time could be different. If nothing else, enjoy the happy bits.”

There was a pause before Remus said softly, “The happy does feel pretty nice.”

James hoisted himself upright. “So, why didn’t you bring him in then?”

Remus raised an eyebrow. “You know why.”

“You and your goddamn rules, Moony. Personally, I think feelings is the best reason to bring someone home.”

“Oh?” Remus’ mouth twisted. “Is that why you brought the young guy home last night? _Feelings_?”

“That was definitely part of it.” James flashed a flirty grin. “But he’s also pretty damn fit.”

Sipping his drink, Remus smirked. “So, how far did you get? Did he stay all night?”

Warmth spread through James, bursting into his smile. “Yes, he spent the night.”

“Knew it.”

“I made him waffles for breakfast.” James blinked dreamily.

“Boring, Prongs. Give me the good stuff.”

James glanced across, mischievous and conspiring. He leaned close again. “He tastes good.”

Remus’ eyebrows twitched. “Does that mean what I hope it means, or were you randomly licking people again?”

James laughed.

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The author is apparently a frustratingly vague creature and allows an entirely ambiguous amount of time to pass.

We pick our story up again on a night that transpires quite busy and entirely frustrating for all four of our sweet protagonists...

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_Regulus_

“ _You_ ... absolutely insufferable,” Regulus mumbled.

James slobbered against his cheek. “An’ yet you suffer me.”

“I don’t even really like clubs, y’know.” Regulus’ attempt to kiss James was a spectacular failure of clumsily bumped jaw bones.

“Mm, good thing we’re home to has sexy, huh?”

Regulus fumbled the key three times before getting the door open. “This way,” he slurred, tripping up the stairs. James laughed and tumbled against him. They shoved and dragged each other along the hall.

Pulling James into his bedroom, Regulus slammed the door shut. “Oops, hope Sirrurus isn’t home yet...”

James didn’t answer but shoved him towards the bed. They fell in a tangle of graceless limbs, kissing slobbily. Regulus tugged roughly at James’ shirt, struggling to get the buttons open. He gasped when James’ hands dived beneath his t-shirt and smoothed up his body. “Mm, footballers arse,” James mumbled.

“S’not my arse, imbecile...”

“Yes, but I’m getting there next,” James said.

Ignoring him, Regulus tried to line up their lips again but James was still laughing his happy buzz. Making good on his promise, his hands dropped to Regulus’ trousers and fiddled uselessly with the flies.

“Bugger it,” James murmured at last. He wriggled his hands under Regulus’ arse, and settled between his legs. “S’no good Reggie. Too drunk.”

“Urh,” Regulus scrabbled his hands sporadically across James’ body, shifting purposefully against him. But he still hadn’t managed to get James’ shirt undone and his tipsy brain was shouting for unconsciousness. He sighed, “Me too, reckon.”

“Mm,” James nuzzled his throat, licking him aimlessly. “Sleep with me?”

“Yeah,” Regulus hummed, smiling against James’ shoulder.

They kissed lazily and snuggled together, dropping into hazy, drunken sleep.

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... meanwhile ...

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_Sirius_

Charity dinners were more often than not incredibly tiresome. This one felt even worse than usual. Initially, that was simply because Sirius would have rather spent his time with Remus.

But Remus also managed to make it uncomfortable for him in an entirely different way.

Sirius had simply made a minor complaint about the tedium via text message and within moments he was being bombarded with a wave of teasing.

**_If it makes you feel better, I’m having an unassuming night myself_ **

**Gotta be better than this. What’ve you got planned then?**

**_Oh, I’m just taking a bath_ **

A photograph came through; a bathtub and frothy bubbles, a stream of water pulsing steam.

**_See, I’m just running the water_ **

**_Actually, I was just getting undressed when you texted_ **

Remus sent him another photograph, showing a puddle of clothes beside toned, bare legs.

Dumbfounded, Sirius stared at his phone for an entire minute. For long moments he forgot where he was – and how to construct a reply. Finally he managed something painfully banal:

**Are you wearing black nail polish?**

Even before the answer came through Sirius knew Remus would be laughing at him.

**_No. That’s fungus from eating mushrooms_ **

**_Don’t worry, I have slippers so you won’t have to look at them_ **

The text was followed by a picture of neatly folded pyjamas and fluffy wolf-paw slippers. Remus didn’t stop there – he continued to send vaguely intimate texts paired with photographs: a bath tray with whiskey and chocolate. The book he was reading. Candles. Fluffy curls and naked skin gleaming under a wash of steam.

“Now who is _this_?”

Sirius jerked violently and snapped around; his neck cricked painfully. Kingsley, the man beside him, was staring at the screen. They had been mid-conversation until Sirius rudely got distracted.

“So why didn’t you bring this piece of pretty with you tonight, Black?” Kingsley tapped the edge of the phone.

Flustered, Sirius mumbled, “We’ve only just started dating.”

Kingsley’s slow smile was uncomfortably knowing, but he asked no more questions. Sirius shifted uneasily, glancing down when his phone buzzed again.

There was a clear photograph of an organza bag filled with oats and vanilla pods, cloves and a chunk of honeycomb.

**_This is why I smell so good_ **

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_Remus_

He knew exactly what time Sirius got home that night.

**Are you still in the bath?**

Remus smiled.

**_I am. Do you need pictorial evidence?_ **

**Oh yes, I think so**

Remus lazily photographed a long, sudsy leg and sent it to Sirius.

**I’m calling you NOW**

Remus didn’t even have a chance to say hello before Sirius bellowed down the line at him. “You are _unbelievable_!”

If it weren’t for the supreme approval in his voice Remus would have been concerned that he’d pushed too far.

Sirius continued, “I was at a _black-tie dinner_! I was supposed to be schmoozing sponsors!”

“I’m sorry,” Remus said, shifting; the bathwater rippled and sloshed. “I didn’t mean to upset work.”

“Oh, fuck work – I just wanted to give you my full attention and couldn’t – I got caught looking at your photos.”

Remus bit back a grin, mischief spicing his words. “Did you now? Good thing I didn’t send you any nudes, hm?”

A slight pause, then in a dark voice Sirius returned, “I wouldn’t have minded.”

“You might not say that once you’ve seen me naked,” Remus said glibly.

There was a rustle of movement at the other end of the line. “You’ll have to let me be the judge of that. When?”

Desire spiked a rapid beat in Remus’ chest. He hid it. “Who can say, Sirius?”

A slow reply, “Well, I’m hoping you can. You’re naked right now, aren’t you?”

“I am.”

“Fuck,” Sirius said, followed by the sound of further movement.

“What’re you doing?”

Remus could hear Sirius’ eye roll in the tone of his voice. “Nothing Remus. Just changing out of my fucking formal clothes.”

Amused, Remus asked, “Getting naked too, you mean?”

Sirius took an audibly shaky breath. “Do you want me to?”

The water splashed warm as Remus laughed. “Makes no difference to me, Sirius.”

“Oh... I thought for a moment that you were suggesting...”

“I’m not that sort of boy, Sirius,” Remus said, even though he very much was.

“You’re infuriating,” Sirius said without heat. “Are you going to tell me what the fuck we’re doing tomorrow then?”

“Just look pretty and leave the rest to me.”

Remus steered the conversation back to a strictly innocent place and they chatted amiably until he got out of the tub, slipping into warm and cosy night things. “It’s late, Sirius. We’d better get some sleep and I’ll pick you up tomorrow, okay?”

“Yeah, okay.” Sirius sounded very unwilling to hang up. Remus felt somewhat the same.

Before getting into bed he sent one more photograph to Sirius: himself, shrouded in a fluffy robe, blowing a good night kiss from behind dripping, tangled hair.

l-l

We reach the end of this chapter with all our outlined questions defiantly ignored! Has any of the mystery been cleared up? Will those questions _ever_ be answered? Who can say? Certainly not the author!

Tune in next chapter as Remus’ teasing gears up another level...


	8. Cream

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Remus and Sirius spend some time alone together - and there is an unusual amount of sweet snacks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is not a cliche.

The author would like to invite the Wolfstar fans to wriggle to the edge of their respective seat.

Are you sitting comfortably? Then let’s get it on.

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_Sirius_

Sirius made sure he was ready and waiting when Remus arrived. He slid into the car and Remus greeted him with, “My, you’re eager.”

Sirius eyeballed the trim body encased in a tight-fitted shirt as Remus shifted and flexed behind the steering wheel. His eyes slid to a cuffed wrist and disappointment filled him; he couldn’t see the red ribbon.

“Hello to you too,” Sirius snapped in reply. “So, gonna tell me where we’re going yet?”

Smiling, Remus leaned over and lightly kissed him. “The theatre. Now shush while I drive, Mr Road-rage.”

They arrived and were seated in a private box after a pre-show drink. Remus scooted close to Sirius in the dark, winking as he pulled some M&Ms from his pocket. “No snacks my arse,” he whispered. “They never check.”

“You’re sharing with me?” Sirius was pleasantly surprised. “You said you don’t share sweet things.”

“I also said I like you,” Remus said in a throwaway tone. He was glaring disapprovingly at Sirius’ neatly bound hair.

Glancing at him, Sirius decided to leave the comment unanswered. His heart beat a little harder all the same. “So ... I didn’t take you as a fan of romance stories.”

Remus rolled blank eyes at him. “I’m not. _Romeo and Juliet_ is not a romance anyway – it’s deeply dysfunctional and perverted. But I like the actor playing Romeo.”

Sirius grinned and flipped through the programme. “Ooh – I think _I_ like the actor playing Tybalt. The Prince of Cats is looking _fine_.”

“Huh,” Remus said, mouthing a handful of chocolate. “I would’ve taken you for a dog person.”

The show was punctuated by Remus’ whispered cynical or approving remarks. He was warm and gentle resting against Sirius’ arm, beautiful scent rising from his skin. Remus’ fingers rubbed a constant, vacant pattern across Sirius’ thigh; he honestly could not tell if it was deliberate or not.

Remus’ breath was hot in his ear. “I do love this bit,” he whispered, fingers tightening on Sirius’ leg. Sirius wanted to tell Shakespeare to fuck off and make out with Remus instead.

He resisted.

Afterwards they went for a walk, wandering aimlessly and lost in idle talk. Not ready to end their date yet, Sirius suggested a restaurant.

“Sure,” Remus smiled warmly – and then sudden alarm struck his expression when Sirius grasped his hand. An unhappy nervousness glimmered down Sirius’ spine for a moment then Remus took a slow breath and murmured, “Okay.”

The restaurant was posh and warm. Once they were seated, Remus undid his cuffs and folded them back – and Sirius’ heart skipped when his scarlet ribbon was suddenly revealed. Reaching over, he dusted his fingers across the bow, delighting in Remus’ gently smiling response.

After the meal they lingered over coffee, laughing and chatting around Remus’ continued light teasing. It was utterly infuriating; Sirius wanted more; he was certain Remus did as well. His hesitation was baffling and Sirius did not know how to ask about it.

Suddenly, with quiet force, Remus said, “Take your hair down.”

There was something gently dominant in his tone. It sparked embers of desire low in Sirius’ body. He slowly pulled the pins from his hair, sliding them safely through his buttonhole before shaking his hair out over his shoulders.

The candlelight gleamed in Remus’ eyes and his fingers flexed around his glass. Hungry desire bled through his reserve.

It was too much tension for a public space. Sirius cleared his throat, “Ah – are you ready to leave then?”

“If you are.”

They walked back to the car in almost complete silence. Still unsure, Sirius debated whether to blatantly ask if sex was on the menu. Gentle awkwardness stretched between them as Remus stared at his hands for long moments as Sirius squirmed. Then Remus said very softly, “How many stops am I making?”

Excitement exploded through Sirius’ chest. He pulled Remus’ hand to his mouth and pressed a gentle kiss to the heel of his palm. “Just one I think.”

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_Remus_

“You have a guitar,” Sirius said as Remus pushed the door shut behind them.

“Do I?” he asked wondrously. “I wonder how I never noticed that before.”

“Yes, alright you sarcastic twat.” Sirius threw himself across the couch, stretching out in an unsettlingly sexy way.

Remus would not be flustered. “Oh, so you’re not going to ask why I have a guitar then?” He arched a sardonic eyebrow.

Glancing around the room, Sirius scoffed. “I have no intention of further embarrassing myself by asking another idiotic question. It’s _obviously_ part of the decor.” His grin gleamed mischief as he asked the question Remus was waiting for. “Can I hear you play something?”

Remus lifted the guitar from its stand and settled beside Sirius, thumbing the strings. “You got a request?”

Watching him with dark eyes, smouldering and intent, Sirius murmured, “Play something that’ll turn me on.”

Flicking him an indulgent glance, Remus refused to let Sirius see him react.  He drew a breath and began to play:

“ _This is it..._ ” Hiding his amusement behind a strum of music and throaty lyrics, Remus curled his tongue slowly around the words, hands steady across the strings. “ _You got the horn so why don’t you blow it..._ ”

Eyes burning dark, Sirius was totally unable to hide the spikes of subtle desire that parted his plump lips. A flush crept up his throat, every part of him seeming alive with sex. Judging by the stare Sirius was giving him, Remus suspected he looked somewhat the same.

“ _Cream! Get on top..._ ”

Sirius shifted, swallowing hard. Remus successfully pretended to ignore him.

“ _Baby, there ain’t nobody better..._ ”

 Still, he was painfully attracted to the way Sirius chewed at his bottom lip. He let it fuel the song – increasing seduction and tension. He wondered how long Sirius’ restraint would last.

“ _Cream ... don’t you stop..._ ”

Sirius’ tongue slid roughly across his lip, one tight fist twitching against his thigh. Remus wanted to throw him down and strip him naked – but there was so much more fun in the tease.

“ _Why should you wait any longer..._ ”

Sirius appeared to agree with the sentiment. He gracelessly slapped a hand over Remus’ fingers and lunged forwards to kiss him – but he got tangled up in Remus’ knee and the bulk of the guitar and his own desperation and failed entirely. “Remus...”

Fighting down his own desire to just fuck Sirius into the couch, Remus murmured, “Adequate was it?”

“It was amazing...” Sirius shoved ineffectually at the guitar. He made a horrified noise when Remus stood and slipped away to set it back on its stand.

“Hm, you should see me dance to it.” Stretching his shoulders out, Remus popped a couple of buttons open and sighed; he was not one for tight clothes. He looked up again to find Sirius staring at him in glazed hopefulness. Remus swallowed a smile. He spoke again with perfect nonchalance. “I reckon I have some cream, you know. And cake. I’ll get it for us.”

“I don’t want fucking cake!” Sirius cried, leaping up and stamping after him.

Turning, Remus pressed his cheek against Sirius’ jaw, murmuring lowly, “I have plans for you tonight, Sirius ... and you’re going to need your strength.”

Sirius scowled at him thunderously.

Remus ignored him, plating up some cheesecake with a generous squirt of spray-cream. Undeterred, Sirius grabbed at him, hand sliding purposefully against his hip. “Remus...”

Lazily, Remus eyed him as he firmly sucked on the cream nozzle, before steering Sirius back to the sitting room. He was filled with some light and warm feeling that made him vaguely uncomfortable – but Sirius was on his couch licking a spoon and looking so utterly shaggable... Remus forced it aside and coasted on the moment.

He glanced up to find Sirius’ grey eyes boring into him. He shivered.

Sirius snatched his plate and put it aside, sliding into the gap between them. His lips dipped against Remus’ throat, making him gasp. Apparently encouraged, Sirius’ answered with swift fingers tugging at Remus’ shirt, buttons sliding open easily.

They kissed as Sirius pushed his shirt back, long and intimate, a lingering touch. They fell together, hungry and heartfelt.

Sirius’ hands wrapped around Remus’ belt. Easing him back, Remus drew a shaky breath and composed himself before dragging Sirius to the bedroom.

“I’m going to rumple you,” he said quietly.

Sirius quaked and yielded to his kiss in a moment, enthusiastic as Remus roughed both hands into his hair.

Passion built frenetically as Remus pulled Sirius out of his clothes and pushed him onto the bed. Guiding Sirius’ hands around the rungs of the bedstead, Remus whispered, “Hold on.”

There was no measure of time as Remus painstakingly explored Sirius’ body. He traced the contour of each inked muscle, toying with an unexpected piercing in a mostly innocent place. Remus toured every inch of Sirius’ skin with devastating thoroughness, stopping whenever Sirius reached for him. “No touching.”

“For fuck’s sake, Remus! Why’re you doing this to me?” The edge in Sirius’ words was tempered by how obviously he was enjoying it.

Mapping Sirius’ body with perfect seduction, Remus leisurely pulled him apart.

Afterwards they twisted together, earnestly seeking as much touch as possible. Sirius’ fingers closed around Remus’ wrist, rubbing along the edge of the ribbon.

They tangled in soft, sleepy talk; quiet night time voices bubbling with gentle laughter. Remus pressed his mouth light against Sirius’ throat, delicate kisses gradually shifting to sharp bites as desire built again.

It transpired Sirius was a much less patient man than Remus – but wonderfully intense.

Afterwards, utterly exhausted, Sirius slid an arm around Remus’ waist and said, “Remus, I’m bloody glad I met you.”

Sleepily, Remus murmured, “Likewise, Sirius.”

l-l

Well, nothing more needs to be said about that.

Oh, were you expecting something witty? Huh.


	9. Morning After

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Featuring a light assortment of unexpected surprises and unwelcome visitors.

We left our valiant heroes sleeping off a blissful night of getting it on. Such healthy and functional behaviour cannot be allowed to continue...

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_Sirius_

He woke up feeling delightfully achy, muscles he hadn’t used in sometime complaining happily. Soft lips crept lightly across his chest.

Sex with Remus was so much _more_ than anything Sirius had experienced; a pure indulgence. He felt wanton and adored, eagerly accepting Remus’ invitation for morning glory. Afterwards he settled against the pillows and watched Remus attempting to detangle his sex-hair.

The red ribbon flashed past Sirius’ vision. He wanted to rest against Remus and drift back to sleep – and then there was a knock on the party door. Sirius coughed, startled. “Whah-?”

“That idiot,” Remus said mildly. To Sirius’ utter chagrin he slipped out of bed and into a robe, before heading for the door. He returned a minute later with a chattering James in tow. The latter burdened a heavily laden breakfast tray.

Tugging the sheet swiftly up to his axillae, Sirius was greatly alarmed when James placed the tray in the middle of the bed and flung himself down beside it. He glanced from James’ infuriating grin to Remus’ unconcerned face and gulped. “Umm...”

“Buck’s Fizz for you, laddie!” James cried, pressing a glass into Sirius’ hand. “With special oranges direct from my homeland!”

“What, Cornwall?” Remus teased, lifting an eyebrow. James licked a broad stripe up his cheek in reply. Laughing, Remus set about mixing coffee for them all.

Sirius struggled to comprehend the fact that the man his brother was shagging was now sitting beside him while he was naked and sexed-up.

The level of easy intimacy between him and Remus was also slightly discomforting.

“So,” James grinned, shoving a plate at Sirius. “How far did you get, lads? Who did what to whom? I need all the details.”

“Uh...” Sirius gaped. Remus was smug and silent, perfectly composed.

“Oh, are you shy?” James asked when Sirius failed to answer. “Never mind, I have a fair idea. Did he tie you up at least?”

“James,” Remus said indulgently.

James winked. “Still got that to look forward to then.”

Remus shook his head affectionately and closed a hand gently on Sirius’ knee. The red ribbon trailed across the blankets and Sirius twirled it around his fingers; Remus glanced at him, expression unreadable. Turning back to James a moment later, he said, “So what are you doing once you’ve finished imposing on us, Prongs?”

“I thought I’d go sit in a tree and throw things at pedestrians,” he replied in a blasé tone. “I won’t ask about your plans, just be grateful I’m here to let the chafing settle.”

“Prongs, don’t think I don’t know what you’re doing.”

“I just want to celebrate the joys of sex with you, Moony,” James beamed. He leaned conspiratorially towards Sirius. “He’s waited far too long.”

Remus was about to retort, but unplanned words slipped from Sirius’ lips first. “I agree.”

“Oy!” Remus said, startled.

Sirius tugged gently on the ribbon. “I would’ve gone with you from our first date, you know. Especially if I’d known it would be like _that_.”

“It wouldn’t have been like that after a first date. Shut up, James.”

“Sirius, you’re luckier than you know.” James rumpled a hand through Remus’ hair.

They all settled into easy banter, conversation soon bouncing effortlessly between them three of them as they ate, punctuated with bright laughter.

Eventually, James collected their dishes and stood. “Alright lads, I’m off. Make sure to have some Lucozade, alright?”

Alone again, Remus case an uncertain eye at Sirius. A second later he unravelled the ribbon from his wrist with a vague smile. It hung loose from Sirius’ fingers. “I guess I should return this.” Then he leaned in, very close but without touching. He murmured, “I’ll be right back – I need a shower.”

Heat rushed through Sirius skin as he watched Remus saunter across the room. He slipped from the bed and followed.

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_Remus_

Sirius looked rather good wet.

“So this is where the baths happen, hm?” he asked as Remus adjusted the water temperature.

“Oh no,” Remus said. “I take them in the kitchen sink usually.”

They lingered under the water, hands moving gently through lightly-scented soap bubbles, lazily learning the shapes and lines of one another – scars and tattoos and love bites.

Sirius stepped out of the shower and flicked his hair out madly, lashing Remus’ face with a barrage of droplets. He wrapped a towel around himself like a poncho and shoved his feet into Remus’ slippers.

“Oy!” Remus trudged indignantly behind him, shrugging wet shoulders into his robe. Sirius settled on the bed and smirked at him. “Comfortable, are you? Padding about in my wolf feet, like some sort of thieving ... pad foot.”

“Shut up and come here,” Sirius replied bluntly.

Remus sat. Sirius grabbed his hand. Deftly, he looped the ribbon back around Remus’ wrist and tied it, then bowed to press a desperately tender kiss to the heel of his palm. Tweaking the bow, Sirius said softly, “Don’t take it off again.”

l-l

_Regulus_

“You’re late home,” Regulus said, glancing up as Sirius entered the study.

“That depends entirely on your perspective, I think,” Sirius replied, throwing himself onto the floor beside Regulus. “What’re you doing then?”

“Study, as you can well see.” Regulus’ glare darkened when Sirius didn’t reply. “Oh god, you want to talk, don’t you?”

“Reg, we both know my date is far more important than your future.”

“Sirius, I’ve gotten almost nothing done this week!” Regulus grumbled, but he marked his place and turned reluctantly to Sirius.

“Well, maybe you shouldn’t have been out getting blow jobs every other night then,” Sirius parried.

“Oh hark, _where_ were you last night?” Regulus snapped and then immediately smacked a hand across his face.

Sirius crowed, “I’m so glad you asked!”

Groaning, Regulus said, “Well, I walked right into that, not that you would have let me keep on anyway. Go on then. Rhapsodise.”

A spread of emotions wiped down Sirius’ face. “It was fucking hot, Reg ... take a look at this.” He unbuttoned his shirt and shucked it down, revealing a scattering of bruises. “He _bit_ me.”

Regulus twitched an eyebrow, slightly disconcerted.

“It was amazing, just ... something else. The whole night was cock-tease, and then he made me lie down and wouldn’t let me touch him, and it was so fucking _slow_.”

Regulus arched a brow. “And you’re into that are you?”

“I am now,” Sirius said vehemently. “It was unbelievable. I don’t know where his control came from but it was incredible ... just _hours_ of bliss. I’m bloody tired today, I can tell you.”

“I can tell by how animated and excitable you are, yes,” Regulus deadpanned.

Sirius rolled his eyes. “Reg ... I’ve never reacted to a bloke like this before. I reckon I’m half in-love.”

The flush in Sirius’ skin told Regulus it was more than just a reckoning. He teased, “You do realise you don’t have to fall in love with someone just because you get off with them, right?”

Sharp grey eyes snapped towards him. “Oh?” Sirius’ voice was impressively haughty. “So there are no feelings between you and James, then?”

Carefully moulding his face into bored neutrality, Regulus was nonetheless startled by Sirius’ next words:

“I met him this morning you know. We all had breakfast in bed.”

Regulus’ attempt at aloofness cracked into a harsh cough. “You had ... what? James was there?”

“Only for breakfast, calm down Mr Cool.”

Shooting him a poisonous look, Regulus glared sideways at Sirius’ mischievous grin. “Care to expound the reasons why the bloke I’m dating was in bed with you and his roommate?”

“Oh Reg, you make it sound so suspicious and unseemly. Remus and I were still in bed and James brought us breakfast, that’s the extent of it. We talked. I liked him.”

“Right...” Regulus said slowly. “So _why_ did you all need to be in bed for that?”

“Well, I was naked. I wasn’t about to jump out and hang loose.”

“Just – wait a minute,” Regulus frowned. “This sounds very bloody weird.”

Sirius shrugged. “Maybe at first, but it was okay. We just sort of larked about together.”

An indefinable uneasiness settled in Regulus’ stomach. He shook a hand through his hair, pushing it protectively across his eyes. “It’s a bit ... co-dependent, isn’t it?”

Sirius tucked Regulus’ hair back again. “Yeah, maybe. It was fine though, nothing to be worried about... You’re pretty keen on James, then?”

Chewing vaguely at his bottom lip, Regulus said defiantly, “Too early to say, I’m sure. But I had an idea to keep him around for a bit.”

Sirius was squinting at him far too astutely. “We should all hang out together I reckon. It’ll happen at some point anyway.”

“You want to go on a double date?”

“Not necessarily. Just be good to get to know everyone a bit better, right? Remus is pretty fantastic, you know ... he’s all sarcastic and clever under those curls.”

“Uh huh.” Regulus held up a hand to silence Sirius’ renewed Remus-enthusiasm. “I really do need to get some of this studying done today, brother.”

Sirius scrambled to his feet. “Yeah, okay. Come and find me when you’re ready.”

Lying on his belly surrounded by school books, Regulus’ thoughts wandered to James instead of refocussing on the work. A vague uncertainty wriggled through the back of his mind but it was easily swallowed by the pleasurable memories of all the pretty things James did whenever Regulus tracked fingers through his mad hair.

Wriggling into the carpet with an aggravated sigh, Regulus pushed the thoughts away and determined to finish his study. “Rotten bloody life,” he grumbled, dragging his notebook closer. “I’d far rather be wrapped around a hot body myself.”

l-l

It is surely very rude of life to keep forcing trivial everyday expectations irrespective of private needs, which arguably _are_ far more important. Still, that’s a topic for a different conversation.

In the next thrilling instalment, the Wolfbucks Cafe gets busy and so do the boys! Don’t miss out, same AU time, same AU channel.


	10. Rally

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The cafe gets busy, and the boys finally spend some time together as a group.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Em! As promised, your VIP seat is plumped and ready, stocked with cushions, a knee-rug, some chocolate and a Familiar wanting pats. There's also a commemorative button so you can return even after your name is marked off the list.

 

Our story resumes on with the brothers Black deciding a surprise attendance at the Wolfbucks Cafe is in order. For this chapter to be remotely interesting, such a basic plan must go awry.

The boys arrive to find a raucous congregation of gender diversity activists occupying the premises. Sirius immediately jumps in with the group and leaves Regulus to enter the over-patroned cafe...

l-l

_James_

“You keeping up with the orders there, Moony?” James called over the thrum of noise. He plunked down a tray of mugs and thumbed his specs up a sweaty nose.

“Not remotely, Prongs.” Remus didn’t look at him, voice utterly blank as he focused on his work.

“Remind me next time to put on a couple of extra staff,” James said.

Remus shrugged as he slapped lids on a row of takeaway cups. “You said that last time, Prongs. There’s just no way to know how many people are going to show up for a rally.”

“True. Well, thank god we close early tonight.”

Glancing around, James scrubbed a hand through his hair. The cafe was bursting with people sitting in every available space – and even in a few spaces that ordinarily would not be considered available. Luckily, they all looked happy and enlivened rather than frustrated and annoyed – that luxury was reserved to the staff, all of whom nonetheless appeared to be enjoying the community spirit.

A few patrons appeared to be trying to get James’ notice, but he simply could not flirt with so many customers. Similarly, Remus was politely turning down requests for custom coffees, preparing seemingly endless brews as his curls grew into an ever increasing halo of fluff.

“You’re busy today,” said a familiar voice startlingly close to James’ ear.

He spun around and snatched Regulus in a swift hug. “I’m not too busy for you,” he grinned. “Actually, can I ask for your help with something?”

Blinking, Regulus twitched a shrug. “Sure.”

“Follow me.” James pulled Regulus through the crush of people. Remus called angrily after him, but James kept moving, dragging Regulus into his tiny office.

“What-?”

The question was cut off when James pressed Regulus against the desk and kissed him. His fingers scrambled immediately for Regulus’ belt, earning him a surprised gasp. Getting nowhere, James broke the kiss and growled against Regulus’ cheek, “Which one of these fucking buckles undoes this damn thing?”

With an unsteady breath, Regulus reached for his belt as James slid patient lips down his throat. When the buckle finally slipped free, James pulled open Regulus’ flies and dropped to his knees.

He glanced up through his eyelashes. “Try to leave some of my hair attached this time, okay?”

“Mm, we’ll see.” Smiling softly, Regulus lifted James’ glasses off before rubbing a hand through his hair. James shivered into the touch and hooked his fingers into Regulus’ waistband.

l-l

_Remus_

Remus was really very good at hiding his displeasure, a skill he’d long ago mastered. He employed it with marvellous effect as work surged at him.

Huffing angrily, Remus shoved his hair back and in a moment of luck he spotted Sirius through the front window. A sudden grin tugged his mouth, but it was surely nothing at all to do with feelings, most assuredly not; Sirius’ arse was just looking particularly fine.

It was more than half an hour before James reappeared. Injecting every word with special poison, Remus spat at him, “And where have you been?”

“Lunch break,” James grinned.

Despite his vaguely impressed approval, Remus made sure James knew that he was cross. He snapped, “Eat anything good?”

“Oh yeah, very nice.” James slid an arm around him in an apologetic hug. “I’m sorry I bailed. How can I make it up to you?”

Remus rolled his eyes. “Take over for a bit, would you?”

“Of course, Moony.” James squeezed him.

After carefully preparing another brew, Remus went outside to find Sirius.

He was exceptionally easy to find, standing on a table and chanting through a megaphone. Gently, Remus tapped the back of his knee. Startled, Sirius span around. A brilliant grin brightened his expression.

Sirius greeted Remus by crouching down and pulling him in for a firm, warm kiss. For a moment the tension swept out of Remus’ muscles and all he knew was the heat of Sirius’ lips. Finally he pulled back and Sirius hooked a finger under his chin, some sort of questioning concern crimping the corners of his eyes. With a lying smile, Remus pressed the coffee mug into Sirius’ hand.

He took a step back and Sirius dropped the speaker and dragged him again, another kiss, softer and sweeter; a gamut of emotion in one simple touch.

Someone noticed them and began a screaming cheer which quickly spread through the crowd. Lights flashed through Remus’ eyelids. Startled, he stumbled, but Sirius held him tighter, lingering with gentle determination.

Finally, Remus eased him back. Sirius grinned and brushed a thumb quickly across Remus’ mouth. He answered with a playful snap of teeth.

An excited someone suddenly thumped Remus hard on the back and he toppled away from Sirius. He looked around and saw camera phones pointed at him. Shrugging off random grabbing hands, Remus slunk away from the crowd and back towards the shop.

At the door he paused and glanced back. Sirius raised his coffee in a salute. He took a sip and Remus grinned as a look of delighted astonishment crossed his features. He stepped inside as Sirius’ magnified voice echoed again over the static mesh of voices.

l-l

_Sirius_

“How do you guys manage a crowd like that? I can barely handle a board meeting,” Sirius said, shoving a broom across the herringbone floorboards.

“Yeah, we underestimated the crowd today,” James agreed. “Which is awesome.”

“Agreed,” Remus said. “The rallies get bigger every time. That says good things about society, I reckon.”

“Yeah, well,” Sirius said, unable to keep the bitter edge off his words. “There’s little enough good to say about it.”

He caught the bemused glance James and Remus threw each other and ignored it in favour of studying Remus’ arse as he bent over to wipe down tables.

“Don’t you have people who do the clean-up for you?” Sirius said, forcibly changing the subject.

“Most of it’s done,” Remus said flippantly.

“Yeah.” James somehow managed to swagger even loaded down with a tray of crockery. “The staff’ve worked their arses off today, doesn’t hurt us to finish up for them. Thanks for helping out, mate.”

“My pleasure,” Sirius said. He meant it too; Remus had just bent over again. He allowed some overtly sexy thoughts to distract him until Remus turned and noticed his staring.

Smiling lightly, he murmured, “Keep your mind on the job, Padfoot.”

“Hand it over,” James said, plucking the broom from Sirius’ hands.

“D’you reckon we’re done, Prongs?” Remus asked. “The young guy should be back soon.”

“Yeah, just about,” James said, brushing the broom about far more efficiently than Sirius had.

“Brilliant,” Remus muttered. He planted a foot high on the counter and stretched forwards to undo his boots. Sirius gaped at the unconscious, effortless sexiness, lean limbs and perfect arse inside tight black trousers.

This time it was James who noticed his interest. “What’re you staring at?” he asked with a laughing undertow in his voice. “I thought you two had had sex, surely you know how flexible he is.” James companionably rapped Sirius on the back and sauntered away again, broom on a jaunty shoulder.

As soon as he was out of the room, Sirius rushed over to Remus, who was wriggling barefooted toes against the floor. He forcefully pulled Remus against him, wrapping him in tight arms. Sirius kissed him, pouring all the fractured elements of his unexpected arousal into one heated touch.

“Remus,” Sirius said in a broken voice when the kiss ended. “How the hell are you such an amazingly sexy creature?”

“I used to be a stripper,” was Remus’ bland reply.

Sirius laughed, stroking a slow hand down Remus’ thigh. “Really? Well, you’ll have to give me a lap dance sometime.”

“Sure,” Remus deadpanned.

Leaning in, Sirius kissed him again, slowly. He breathed, “So, are you coming home with me tonight?”

Remus hesitated. “I wasn’t planning to, Padfoot.”

Sirius frowned, distracted. “Will you stop calling me that?”

A creeping grin split Remus’ face. “Nope. You are Padfoot, the slipper thief.”

“I’ll chew them up like a dog next time,” Sirius growled, and gave Remus a flirty shake.

l-l

_Regulus_

Sirius was talking when Regulus pushed open the cafe door, balancing takeaway bags: “So, if you aren’t going to come home with me maybe we can do it right here...”

“Or maybe not,” Regulus said before Remus could reply.

Sirius – who already looked annoyed – turned a furious scowl on him. “Rubbish timing, Reg.”

“Oh, I don’t know,” Remus said idly. “I think I could get on board with it if you want to watch.”

Lurching back, Sirius laughed. “Ugh, you sick fuck!”

“I’m a very good fuck,” Remus smiled, patting Sirius’ cheek. Then he slithered around him and headed for an empty table, gesturing to Regulus. “Bring that over here, chappie.”

Within ten minutes the four of them were seated around a table laden with boxes of hot and fragrant Thai food.

“What the hell is this?” Sirius said, poking at a red and yellow sticker sealing a couple of packages.

“Yeah, I wondered about that,” Regulus frowned. “I’ve never seen it before.”

“ _That_ is mine,” James said, snatching the boxes from them.

“Oy, what?” Sirius glanced up as they all started pulling containers open. “You’re not sharing then?”

“Yeah,” Regulus frowned. “You’re always happy to help yourself when we go out.”

“Not when meat is on the plate,” James said distantly.

“Hang on a moment.” Regulus was taken aback, and somewhat annoyed at his own failings of observation. “You don’t eat meat?”

“Oh, Prongs, you’re useless. You never told him you’re a vegetarian?” Remus sounded rather amused.

“Apparently not,” James replied, his detachment compounding with boredom. “Hey-ho lads, I’m a vegetarian. There y’are Moony, I’ve told them now.”

“Prompt as usual.”

“Well, my ego doesn’t require continuous validation by sharing every aspect of myself,” James said, flicking a cheeky eyebrow.

“And no bad thing – you’d bankrupt yourself trying to staff a team of validators for an ego like yours.”

“We both know folks would leapfrog each other to volunteer for the job, Moony.”

“Do we know that?” Remus mused. “To say we _know_ it intimates that it’s a fact and I would hotly dispute that.”

James laughed and swung an arm around Remus’ shoulders, pulling him into a suffocating hug. Remus scooped his fingers into James’ rice, then rammed them into his mouth. Choking, James spluttered a spray of food across the table, and laughed even harder.

Sirius roared with laughter as well, gently slapping Remus’ hand away from James’ lips.

Regulus watched them apprehensively. A strange unease squirmed low through his belly. The level of closeness between James and Remus confused him. This was different to the play-acting that he’d seen in the cafe; they were natural and unrestrained – and incredibly intimate.

Sirius seemed less concerned, cheerfully forcing himself into their antics.

Suddenly James glanced at Regulus, and a subtle seriousness curved his smile. Arching across the table, he raked a hand through Regulus’ hair and kissed him soothingly.

Not entirely reassured Regulus glanced at Remus, who greeted his stare with a cool smile; it could have meant absolutely anything.

Forcing himself to put aside the low-edged feeling that tasted unpleasantly like jealousy, Regulus relaxed instead into the easy conversation. Their laughter echoed through the empty cafe and soon it was easy enough to forget that a world of demands waited outside their contented good cheer.

l-l

James is incredibly smart for an idiot and sees through Regulus’ poor attempts at hiding his feelings. Does the author have a plan for this unexpectedly realistic emotional reaction in one of our sweet players? If so, we aren’t going to learn about it now.

When we return, the brothers Black will find themselves in another unexpected and rather surprising event at the Wolfbucks Cafe...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Righto ... so, it's been about three months of weekly posting and now I need a little break. I'll be back with another 10 chapters once the nihilistic anhedonia passes and I remember that this is something I enjoy. Thanks and love.


	11. Singsong

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Remus and James surprise Sirius and Regulus with some live music at the Wolfbucks Cafe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's back. If the waiting hasn't killed your interest entirely, then please enjoy.

Welcome back to Cafe Boys! This week, the brothers Black decide to surprise Wolfbucks at work, only to be surprised in turn. Perhaps unfortunately, there may be more to said surprise than they‘ve bargained for...

l-l

_Sirius_

Regulus shrugged deeper into his hoodie. “I thought the whole point of being the boss was that you could pick your working hours.”

Sirius bounced his shoulder into Regulus’. “That’s because you don’t work. If you did, you’d realise that bosses sometimes do overtime. Anyway, did you consider that maybe Remus and James are filling in so other staff can have the night off?”

Regulus harrumphed and Sirius ignored him.

It was surprising to see the Wolfbucks Cafe bright and busy even so late in the evening. Music seeped out of the building into the frigid twilight. Urging Regulus in front of him, Sirius squeezed inside. He spotted an empty table and shoved his brother towards it, himself heading to the orders counter.

“Irish coffee happy hour!” the server trilled around the permeating, sonorous music. Scanning the crowd, Sirius nodded a distracted acceptance and went to join Regulus, who appeared to have forgotten that he liked to pretend at being cool. He was leaning on the table, eyes alight with hungry fixation. Sirius followed his gaze and was not prepared for the sight he found.

The soulful tone filling the room quite astonishingly came from James, his voice remarkably pleasant around the clamour of accompanying patrons. He was on a dais with Remus and two other musicians. As Sirius settled his attention they began a new song – and the entire cafe let out a roar of approval.

Rather bemused, Sirius listened and tried to recognise the song. “ _The cares of today are soon washed away_...” James’ voice swept across the room.

Regulus was gaping almost unattractively.

Sirius couldn’t completely blame him – after all, James had just leapt onto a table, which was a good look for someone with his athletic shape.

James’ showmanship spoke for itself. He bounded across tables with a practised ease, leaning down and crooning to random customers. People snatched their drinks out of his path and cheered him on.

“ _Down at the Red Rose Cafe_ – c’mon everyone, you all know this!” James interrupted the lyrics and threw his arms out in wide invitation. “ _In the harbour_!”

The room exploded in cacophonous eruption as most of the customers joined in the chorus; both Sirius and Regulus started violently at the unexpected din. James jumped onto the back of a couch and the group of thrilled girls sitting there reached up to paw at him.

Sirius glanced at Regulus, but his brother did not appear especially concerned. Instead, his eyes glowed with a kind of fevered need as he followed James’ continued gymnastics, prancing across tabletops as he led the patrons through the song, gracing people at random with a hug, or a cheek-kiss, or a brief share of his microphone.

“ _Everyone there is so happy to be there_!”

Finally James bounded back to the dais and swung an arm around Remus. Sirius was impressed; despite a violent jostling to his guitar, Remus did not miss a note.

They sang the final chorus together. As the last chord reverberated away, James grabbed Remus’ guitar strap and roughly dragged him in, kissing him firm and full on the mouth.

There was an alarming level of mutual eagerness in the touch.

A sudden shard of ice splintered within Sirius’ chest. Regulus’ hand moved restlessly through his hair, scattering black locks across his darkly confused expression.

The rest of the room was a deafening holler of joy.

The enthusiastic kiss was achingly long. Confused, Sirius bit his lip and tried to ignore the pink heat rushing into his face. Finally, Remus pushed James back with an affectionate palm to the face. An indulgent smile split his expression.

Laughing, James raised the microphone again. “Alright my beauties, it’s that time again! My darling Moony will sing us out with his lovely tribute to me – but if you grease their palms I’m sure we can convince the Prewetts to play all night!”

After setting the microphone into its cradle, James dropped cross-legged to the floor and fixed Remus with an expectant gaze.

“So.” Remus approached the microphone and blinked soft, mischievous eyes at James. “A tribute to Prongs means I’ve finally got the go-ahead to sing ‘Breaking the Law’ at folk night, agreed?” The customers answered in a muddle of cheers and laments and laughter.

James said, “C’mon Moony, you know what we all want to hear! Sing our song for the good people.”

Remus breathed a defeated sigh, “Fine,” His fingers thrummed across the guitar. He appeared to be watching the floor beside James’ foot, deliberately avoiding eye contact with anyone. “Right then, chaps, let’s begin.”

Sweet, soft music filled the cafe.

Nobody sang along with Remus. His husky voice commanded the room with its quiet intensity, caressing complete attention from the crowd. Filled with a strange, indefinable emotion, Sirius had no doubt that the performance really was a tribute to his relationship with James.

“ _Remember the moon on the water, how she shined_...”

Beside him, Regulus shifted angrily. Sirius opened his mouth, but before he could speak Regulus snapped, “Shut up,” and began chewing his tongue.

“ _The taste of the sheets and the feel of the wine..._ ”

“Well, stop freaking out then,” Sirius grouched in reply. It earned him a poisonous glare and a moment of silence as Regulus apparently judged every single word Remus sang.

“ _After shade stepping out, stepping into the light._ ”

“Don’t you think this is an odd thing to sing to a friend?” Regulus finally spat.

Sirius did slightly, but he wasn’t about to admit it. “We already know they’re close.”

Regulus’ scowl found a new depth of broodiness. “I’m getting concerned about _how_ close.”

“Reg, don’t be ridiculous.”

“I’m not being ridiculous, just look – there’s something between them!”

“You don’t trust James?” Sirius challenged, facing him with a glare.

Regulus stalled, tugging his hair. “I’m not saying that. Just ... I don’t know, doesn’t this make _you_ uncomfortable? At _all_?”

“ _Wasn’t I glad that you were mine, in the grand affair._ ”

Turning away again, Sirius lied stubbornly, “No.”

l-l

_James_

“When did you two get here?”

The cafe was gradually emptying since the singing had finished and James was thrilled to have unexpectedly spotted Regulus and Sirius chatting at a table.

“A little while ago.” Sirius’ unconvincingly light tone immediately gave James concern. Regulus’ expression was tight and closed. “Might go say hello to Remus actually,” Sirius continued, very obviously escaping what was bound to be an emotionally charged conversation. He stood and left.

James squinted at Regulus curiously. “What’s wrong?”

Regulus shifted uncomfortably and wouldn’t quite meet James’ eyes. “I’m fine,” he said with surprising smoothness, but James caught a sliver of bitterness. “Just ... enjoying your performance.”

Parking himself on the table, James planted his feet firmly on either side of Regulus’ chair, trapping him. Regulus crossed his arms and flicked defiant eyes through his loose fringe.

Leaning towards him, James said, “Let’s start as we mean to go on, hm? If something’s playing at you then let’s have it out.”

Regulus gnawed on his lip and finally muttered, “I saw you kissing Remus.”

Fighting an urge to laugh, James struggled to regulate his answer. “Remus is my brother and there’s nothing else to it. I would have told you at the start if there were.”

Wariness echoed in Regulus’ eyes, but his brittle veneer waivered. James grinned slowly and wriggled closer. He reached out to slide a slow finger down Regulus’ neck. “Do you need me to convince you? I’d be more than happy to.”

Regulus’ eyes flickered with interest but it did not eliminate the line of tension running through his jaw. James shuffled closer and brushed his mouth along the bone before neatly changing the subject.

“So, what did you think of my singing?”

l-l

_Remus_

Arms slid around him from behind and Remus’ blood spiked high. He forced himself not to react with physical violence. A moment later he caught the scent of rosemary and relaxed, turning to face Sirius. He said, “I don’t like being snuck up on. For the record.”

“Noted,” Sirius replied, pressing a light kiss to Remus’ chin. “So, I’m not the only one you seduce with your singing, huh?”

“Oh god,” Remus pretended to moan. “Every week he makes me sing that song. You’d think it would have lost all meaning by now, but it seems not. I am long suffering with that man.”

“You do this every week?” Sirius sounded rather more surprised than Remus thought was reasonable. “All this time I could’ve been coming down here for your singing? You never said.”

Customers near them whispered excitedly as Remus slipped an arm around Sirius’ waist. He ignored them. “It’s no secret, Padfoot; we’ve been doing this for years. So really the issue here is your having waited so long to become a patron.”

A sour twist pulled through Remus’ chest when Sirius answered with sincere wistfulness. “You’re so utterly right, I wish I’d come here years ago. I don’t even know why I never did before that day.”

Dwelling on what-ifs wasn’t Remus’ style, even though he couldn’t help but agree with the sentiment. “Well,” he said brusquely. “You got here eventually.”

l-l

We exit this episode with the four boys retreating to private corners with their sexual tension.

Join us next time to indulge in the vague discomfort surrounding Remus’ and James’ lackadaisical physical intimacy, which is becoming an increasing concern for both Sirius and Regulus.


	12. Night Out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys all go dancing, with mixed results.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's a day late, apologies. Life etc.
> 
> Thanks to RA and JC for the quote.

 

This week the cafe boys are meeting for a Big Night Out. Of course, clichés and proverbs don’t exist for no reason – and their best laid plans are going awry.

l-l

_James_

The club was dark and the music loud. Remus had given up trying to jab James into step about three drinks ago, and their dancing had settled into a lazy roll instead. They talked beneath the bass line.

“I didn’t think it was possible for someone to get any fuller of themself, but you’ve surprised me again, Prongs.”

“No,” James said, dragging the syllable out on a whiskey-scented breath. “I’m in earnest.”

“Hm.” Remus looped his hands around James’ neck. “Well, the little bloke surely isn’t the first person you’ve dated who’s been uncool about us.”

James’ sigh was half a growl. “Yeah, but I’m fed up of it.”

Remus wriggled reassuringly. The music wrapped around them like a warm, woollen poncho – keeping them safe and snug in their shared space. “I know, Jimmy-bean.”

James ducked his head and pushed his glasses up with his shoulder. “Well, he’ll either come around or he won’t,” he said, aiming for flippancy and failing.

“Hm,” Remus mulled, swaying into a new song; James didn’t bother trying to match his moves. “You know that I can see straight through your pitiful attempts at nonchalance, right?”

“Fuck off.”

“Yes, that exactly what I’m talking about – an utter fail of dispassion, James. You should pay closer attention to my mannerisms. Or maybe not, since that seems to be the cause of your problems to begin with.”

“You want me to watch your mannerisms, huh?” James leaned forwards and pressed a quick, artless kiss to Remus’ jaw. “Bend over then, give us a look.”

Remus laughed and knocked a hip against him. “I’m not sure what you think mannerisms are Prongs, but I promise you, I don’t keep them up my arse.”

“I’m still happy to check,” James offered. He hooked an arm around Remus’ waist and tucked his fingers into the back of his trousers.

“Buy me a drink first,” Remus smiled, curving into his touch.

Pretending affront, James cried, “I’ve bought _all_ your drinks tonight!”

“You also pay my wage,” Remus reasoned. “So either way you’re paying, and either way I’ve not had anywhere near enough alcohol to let you do whatever it is you’re planning to do to me.”

Laughing, James pulled Remus into a loving squeeze. “We both know that you call the shots when it comes to that sort of thing, laddie.”

“I know what I like,” Remus agreed. “And how to make intercourse worth my time.”

“Intercourse,” James teased, shaking his head with gentle affection. “You fucking nerd.”

It startled Remus into a laugh. “What term would you rather I use? I do get bored of simply saying ‘I’m a good fuck.’”

“Oh, I dunno,” James said, letting Remus spin him as an electric riff filled the room. “I think a classic never goes out of style.”

“Is that your excuse for still having those glasses after a decade?”

“Exactly,” James agreed. “So please promise me you will never again refer to your wonderful, good-fucking self as having ‘worthwhile intercourse’. Dear Hades – that just dries up anybody’s pants, doesn’t it?”

“I’ll admit it’s not a line I’ve tested on members of the public,” Remus said. “And I sincerely hope that you ply me with enough alcohol tonight that I forget I’ve said it to you as well.”

“Best wait until after your boy gets here,” James said. “I’d hate to spoil your chances for it tonight.”

“Worry about your own chances, Prongs.”

A thread of reignited agitation crept through James’ cheeriness. He sighed, “Jealousy ... it’s such a turn off, right?”

“Indeed.” Remus coiled an arm around his shoulders and pressed his forehead into the curve of James’ neck. “But you’re stuck with me, love. Unfortunate really, as I’m the cause of all your woes.”

James ran his hands along Remus’ back, noting vaguely that he felt too thin. The red bow on Remus’ wrist had come undone; the ribbon tickled against his neck. “Don’t you talk about my best friend that way,” he murmured.

“I’m allowed to, he gave me permission,” Remus said. His mouth slid against James’ shirt.

“Don’t you catch your stud in this, it’s Armani,” James said and a twist of surprised amusement struck him when Remus began licking him. “Oy, that’s my thing you weirdo. I lick people, you lick cocks, got it?”

“And I call the shots, so don’t tell me what to do when I’m sucking your cock, Jimmy,” Remus said. James could feel the laughter in his words and joined it.

“Uhm ... sorry, what?”

Looking up, James discovered Sirius and Regulus had finally arrived and were both openly staring at them. Before he had a chance to read the frozen expression colouring Sirius’ cheeks a whirlwind of bad mood in the shape of Regulus launched at him. An aggressive shoulder sent Remus staggering; Sirius rushed to steady him.

James flinched in astonishment when Regulus greeted him with an unceremonious hand grabbing at the front of his trousers. “What the fuck..?”

Stormy anger answered him with a growled, “Just checking.”

“Uh ... checking what exactly, if you don’t mind my asking?” James asked, bemused at Regulus’ evident, and already tiresome, bad attitude.

“Just how far along you’d gotten with that public foreplay.”

“What?”

“Is that what you two are like when we aren’t looking?”

“Okay,” James said, injecting iron into his voice. He wished he was more sober. “I don’t know what exactly you think is going on here, but we’ll talk about it when I haven’t been drinking.  At length and in tedious detail.”

Regulus scowled. “I’d really rather have it out now,” he snapped.

“Too bad,” James said, keeping his tone firm and dismissive. “In the meantime, physical activity is good for burning off a temper. D’you wanna dance or go for a run?”

Regulus looked positively livid. A sharp unhappiness twirled itself through James’ belly and he turned away from it.

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_Sirius_

Sirius really wanted to dismiss his growing misgivings as idle paranoia fed by Regulus’ immature insecurities.

It was a line of reasoning that was incredibly difficult to stick to after seeing Remus curled around James, mouthing his chest and talking about blowing him. Yet it was equally clear that Remus was genuinely happy to see him and appeared more than willing to replace James’ arms for Sirius’.

“Ooh, thank fuck you’re here,” Remus said, stepping closer and brushing his cheek to Sirius’. “James is fucking useless to dance with.”

“I did notice that,” Sirius said. He coiled his fingers around the loose red ribbon.

“Your brother looks grumpy tonight,” Remus said, sounding almost fascinated. “What’s that about?”

Evasively, Sirius said, “He’s very young and stupid.”

“Impressive. They’re not mutually exclusive qualities, so good for him.” Remus nuzzled Sirius’ hair. “Mm, you smell great tonight.”

“Thanks,” Sirius curled an arm around Remus, soaking up his hard warmth.

As they swivelled an aimless dance, Sirius threw surreptitious glances towards Regulus. Beneath his dark clothes Sirius could plainly see cold fury gripping his muscles. His hunched shoulders were tipped towards a space occupied by a rather talented break dancer. “Is that _James_?”

 “If it’s illegal, yes.” Remus answered without looking. He gave Sirius a gentle shake. “Something’s bothering you. Want a drink to take the edge off, or do you prefer to make a debatably more healthy choice?”

A tiny smile tugged the edge of Sirius’ reluctant mouth. “Let’s get a drink, fuck it.”

Sitting at the bar, Sirius gently retied the ribbon and Remus smiled. “It keeps coming loose. I got it caught in my guitar the other day.”

Things seemed easier to ignore with a couple of shots of whiskey in his belly. Sirius was beginning to feel pleasantly buzzed and ready to drag Remus back to the dance floor when Regulus suddenly appeared, looking like a spoilt thunder cloud. “I’m leaving,” he grumbled.

“Hey?” Sirius took a moment to process the words. Regulus was pretending not to shoot venomous glances at Remus, who in turn appeared to find him immensely amusing. To avoid any confrontation, Sirius pulled his brother aside. “What’s going on?”

“James won’t tell me about whatever it is they get up to when we aren’t around,” Regulus snapped. His angry bravado was a glaringly transparent put-on.

A rill of unease trickled back into Sirius’ mind. Frustrated, he snapped, “Well, it’s not really a conversation for right now, is it?”

“Maybe,” Regulus said. He glanced at Sirius, looking tired. “But I can’t hang about pretending that I’m not bothered, when they’re wanking each other right in front of us. So I’m going.”

“Right,” Sirius said, not wanting to argue. “I’ll put you in a taxi then.”

Intending to ignore Regulus’ constant suspicion, Sirius was nonetheless unable to stop a pulse of annoyance when he returned to the bar minutes later and found Remus and James in animated discussion. They were standing very close and James’ fingers were hooked in Remus’ belt loops.

An animal possessiveness bubbled in Sirius’ chest. He stamped over.

Up close, James looked irate. He gave Sirius a thin smile and patted Remus’ hip before taking his hands away. “Right lads, I’m gonna head off rather than spoil your night. Sirius, you’ll see Moony home safe, yeah?”

Sliding an arm around Remus’ waist, Sirius replied, “He’s coming home with me, actually.” In the back of his mind, Sirius was furious at the irrational emotion that compelled him.

He was even more annoyed by the fact that James could see through it and was internally laughing at him. “Is that right?”

Remus turned and pressed his nose into Sirius’ neck. “Yes please,” he said, smiling against Sirius’ skin.

“Okay then,” James said. He leaned forwards and kissed Remus’ cheek before turning towards the door. “Enjoy your night.”

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_Remus_

Even through the alcohol, Remus could see the tinge of Regulus’ jealousy rubbing off on Sirius. It was aggravating, but not as interesting as the strangely aggressive passion it seemed to have spurred in him.

They drank and danced, but Sirius was edgy and impatient, moving his body with intent firmness. Remus wasn’t used to stepping back but he was intrigued to see where Sirius would steer things. The anticipation was beautiful torture.

Eventually, Sirius dragged him off the dance floor and into the night. He pulled Remus down the street, through a bracing chill. “Shouldn’t we get a cab?”

“No,” Sirius said. His eyes gleamed in the lamplight. “Shut up.”

Gracefully, Remus did as he was told.

They skittered to a stop outside the park. Sirius yanked a pin from his hair and began fiddling at the lock. Moments later the gate rattled free and Sirius hauled Remus through. He shoved Remus against the hedge and kissed him, hard and almost violent, filled with raw emotion.

It was exciting. Remus let the thrill of it seep into his bones and deepened the kiss, grasping Sirius tight.

Fumbling, Sirius got Remus’ flies open and thrust an icy hand in; Remus gasped, body arching needfully. Sirius sucked his neck in a lustful agreement, then grabbed Remus’ hands and pressed them against the hedge. “Hold on,” he said pointedly before dropping to his knees.

It was some kind of amazing.

Whatever the hell was in Sirius’ head filled every touch with astonishing energy. His hands slid over Remus’ body, touching perfectly, smooth tandem with the hot slip of his mouth. Remus gave himself over to full, sensual sensory overload – the scratchy poke of the hedge, night blooming flowers scenting the perfume of damp earth. Lost to sensation, he lost track of what was happening until fantastic release overtook him. Exhausted, he slipped to the ground and collapsed against Sirius.

“Fuck,” he whispered, and kissed Sirius’ neck.

Sirius’ arms enveloped him in steady warmth. Into Remus’ hair he sighed, “Sorry about tonight.”

Trying to offer reassurance, Remus gave a clumsy mumble. “Hey – I know this isn’t the time to say it, all blissed out and tipsy and after such a fucking great blow job, like ... but Sirius, it’s important to me that you know I really do very like you.”

A thread of baffled appreciation wove into Sirius’ words. “Uhm ... well, thanks Remus. I uh, like you too.”

“You call me Moony.” Remus pressed his hand to Sirius’ cheek. “Kiss me, would you?”

It was enough to forget the sour emotions for a bit as they kissed, sweet and sound. Finally, they staggered to their feet, hand in hand, and wandered back to the street to find a cab home.

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Well. Question time:

How long will the author allow such ridiculously padded chapters to occur? Does the author really feel that this is entertaining and essential to the story? When will the necessary conversation to eliminate that post-teenage angst occur? Will it provide a satisfying outcome – or just another spate of rhetorical questions?

Rest assured, Sirius and Regulus will still be brothers and James and Remus will still have each other’s backs. As for the rest ... well, that would be telling.


	13. Bathtub

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wherein important questions are asked and Remus is allowed no privacy.

Oh, tension!

This week our beautiful queers have some emo times. And the whole chapter is set in a bathroom. Much like in real life.

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_James_

“D’you reckon he’s going to chuck you?”

James roughed a hand through his hair. Quite genuinely, he said, “I don’t know.”

There was a slight pause before Remus asked softly, “Are you going to chuck him?”

Sighing, James hooked his feet onto the edge of Remus’ bathtub. “I hope not.”

Remus sucked air through frustrated teeth. “Why does it keep happening?”

“I don’t fucking know,” James said. He stretched; it did nothing to loosen the agitation in his muscles. The bathroom was sultry and filled with a wonderful herby scent. “Obviously you and I are doing something wrong. People always think there’s something going on with us, don’t they?”

“So you say,” Remus agreed. He shifted and grimaced.

“Did you put Epsom in that tub?” James asked abruptly, fixing Remus with a stern squint.

“Yes, Prongs.” Remus gave him a deceptively benign smile. “It’s really not that bad.”

“Don’t you fucking lie to me, Moony. You should know better than to push your body that hard.”

“James.” Low menace crept into Remus’ tone.

James ignored it. “Oy, if you want to overdo it and hurt yourself then you need to take a scolding. Tell you what – lift your leg without showing any pain and I’ll say no more.” With a defiant glare, Remus bent his leg and ripple of pain stretched across his expression. James leaned back, arms crossed in knowing triumph. “Just as I thought. I’ll give you a rub tomorrow if it’s no better.”

“You’ll just take any excuse to touch my arse, won’t you?” Remus’ smirk twisted as he resettled beneath the slab of bath bubbles.

Smiling, James dipped his foot into the foam and ineffectually flicked it towards Remus’ face. “I see your toenails need painting again. Remind me tomorrow.”

“Thanks Prongs,” Remus said, blinking at him sweetly. “Can I have yellow this time?”

“Sure thing,” James said. “By the way, you know you shouldn’t have sex while you’re hurt, right?”

“Fuck off, Prongs.” Remus threw a spray of water droplets at him.

“Not just yet,” James grinned. “Bit early to meet Regulus, so you’ll have to put up with my intrusive self a little longer yet.”

“Alack,” Remus deadpanned. He sank into the water some, eyeing James over the rim of the tub. He spoke into the froth of bubbles, keeping his expression hidden. “James, I’ve been thinking...”

His cagey tone immediately set James on edge. “No you haven’t. Tell me you haven’t been thinking, Moony. We both know what thinking does to you.”

Remus’ eyes were dark and cautious. “Never mind then.”

James dropped his feet and leaned forwards aggressively. “What is this idea that I clearly will not approve of?”

The water sloshed as Remus shrugged his shoulders. For a moment, he reverted to an unsure persona that James had not seen for years. “Just that ... you know I don’t like how I’m always destroying your relationships.”

“Remus...”

“Oh c’mon, we both know it’s true.” Remus’ voice was both angry and defeated. “How many of your partners have complained we’re too close?”

“Remus! Shut up.”

“I’m just saying, with the amount of times that this has come up maybe a little distance between us is what’s needed.”

“I see,” James said with a shrewd glare. “And does your solution to our over-familiarity involve some sort of international runaway plans, hm?”

Remus sank down further and refused to meet James’ eyes. He dissembled, “How dramatic of you.”

“Oh yes,” James said, borrowing an oily sarcasm. “Because it’s _so_ unlike you to do something of that sort.”

“Fuck you, James!”

“Hey, you brought this up, not me. And I’m telling you right now that you aren’t going anywhere. What’s the real reason you’ve got itchy feet? Is it the feelings thing?”

There was a protracted silence. Finally, Remus growled, “It wasn’t supposed to become this involved. I don’t like it. And I was only talking about taking a break, just a little trip away to take the immediacy out of all of this ... drama.”

Leaning forwards again, James rested his elbows on the edge of the bath. He pressed a hand to Remus’ face and said softly, “We’ll go home for a bit, okay? I’ll call mum and dad before I head out to meet Reg and organise it with them. And when you’re getting these irrational stress-y thoughts, fucking tell me, Moony.”

Before Remus could answer they was interrupted by the distant thud of a doorknock. “Sirius is early,” Remus said, then sat up and called, “I’m in the bathroom Padfoot!”

Frowning at Remus thoughtfully, James said, “Have you given him a key to the front door?”

“No,” Remus said, rubbing bubbles off his face. “I told him I’d leave it open and to come up. I wouldn’t give out a key without your permission, Prongs.”

“Hm. It’s never come up before, has it? Look at my Moony, all grown up.” James grinned and scrubbed a hand into Remus’ sodden hair.

A voice came from the doorway. Sirius was leaning casually against the frame. “Well, isn’t this something else.”

“Hey, Padfoot,” Remus smiled. A soft light flicked on in his eyes and triggered a tight pull in James’ chest. “C’mon in.”

There was a level of unease knotting Sirius’ shoulders as he swaggered in. His grey eyes were unreadably opaque through the humid air.  “How are ya, Sirius?” James asked lightly, studying him.

“Not bad, mate. I thought you were meeting Reg tonight?”

“Later I am, yeah. Just keeping Moony company in the meantime ‘cause he’s hurt himself again. So treat him gently tonight – and no sex, Moony! Right lads, I’ll be off then, I’ve got a phone call to make before I leave.”

James hoped he was imagining the suspicious look Sirius threw him as he left the room.

l-l

James spends a lovely length of time on the phone with his parents before going out to meet Regulus. Their conversation is unnecessarily long, needlessly cyclical and filled with tense irrationality. Put simply, it is far too mundane and melodramatic to transcribe.

Instead, we remain in Remus’ bathroom a little longer, where actual interesting things are happening...

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_Sirius_

“You lot really don’t have boundaries, do you?” Sirius said, perching himself on James’ abandoned seat. Remus had bubbles on his nose.

“We had communal showers at school, we’re used to full-frontal nudity.”

Sirius considered him for a moment, trying to decide on the right thing to say. The questions crowding the front of his mind were best kept unspoken. Finally he asked, “Are you hurt?”

“Not much. Ignore Prongs, he exaggerates.” Remus shrugged, sending bathwater waving across the tub. Warm perfume rose through the steam.

A smile touched the edge of Sirius’ mouth as he breathed deep. “Is there rosemary oil in that bath?”

A cheeky glint entered Remus’ eye. “No.”

“Liar.”

Remus laughed. He reached out a dripping hand and grabbed Sirius’ tie. “Did you come straight from work? I wasn’t expecting you for another hour at least. I was going to put on my sexy lingerie and cook you supper like a proper little hostess.”

“There’s nothing sexier than bare skin and bubbles,” Sirius grinned, letting Remus tug him down.

They kissed, a gentle hello that clung and lingered. Sirius could smell lavender and honey tangling in the water. Remus’ hand slid a wet path along his cheek.

Sirius broke the kiss and sat back. His eyes slid along the blanket of foam hiding Remus from view, but his mind insisted on imagining each slope and angle of the brown body beneath. Distracted and aroused, he bit his lip.

Remus was watching him. He shifted and a rush of pain slid across his face.

“I thought you said it wasn’t that bad!” Sirius snapped, suddenly alarmed. “What’ve you done, Moony?”

Remus’ eyes fell shut, hiding his thoughts. “It’s nothing, really. Just a bit tender. The bath helps, that’s why I’m in here. What’s up with you – did you have a rough day, or is something wrong?”

“Actually...” Sirius hesitated. “Remus, can I ask you something?”

Expression dropping into something dark and guarded, Remus calmly replied, “You can ask.”

Faltering, Sirius stumbled around the right words. “You and James...” He paused and Remus made an encouraging sound, eyes still closed. “You said once that you’re closer than mates. I guess I’m just curious about how much closer.”

“That’s not a question, Padfoot.” Remus finally looked at him.

“Do you sleep together?” Sirius was actually stunned at his own unintentional abruptness.

“No.” Remus said simply. His eyes were intense and studious. Sirius had no idea what he was thinking.

“Have you ever done something together?”

Remus’ head tipped slightly to the side. “Would it matter?”

Sirius fidgeted. “I don’t know. I guess not. You’re just so much more involved with each other than I’m used to seeing.”

There was another pause and then suddenly, to Sirius’ surprise, Remus reached out and curled their hands together. His voice was quiet. “We are, which is unlikely to ever change. But it also doesn’t change ... what you and I doing. Why’re you asking?”

Thumbing small circles across Remus’ palm, Sirius said, “Oh ... just because I wanted to be sure. I’m not jealous, not really. I trust you.”

“Not really,” Remus repeated, sounding thoughtful.

Sirius gave a wry chuckle. “I’m just being honest with you. Five years ago I would have reacted exactly the same way as Reg has.”

“How unpleasant for us both.”

“Shut up, you twat,” Sirius grumbled, but he was grinning. In response, Remus slapped the water and carved a splash directly at him. “Oy, fucker!” Retaliating, Sirius swiped a wave into Remus’ face.

In an instant they entered a ridiculous splash battle, bubbles and water surging over the edge of the bath and across the tiles until Sirius was standing in a great puddle. Remus collapsed against the tub, laughing and gasping over a gentle wail of pain.

Sirius looked down at himself, near breathless with laughter. “I’m drenched, you bastard! I’m gonna find something dry to wear, okay?”

“Wait,” Remus said, grabbing him. Gingerly righting himself, he began to undo whatever parts of Sirius’ clothes he could reach. Getting the message, Sirius did the rest, acquiescing to the gentle persuasion of Remus’ gestures.

“Do you just want to see me naked?” he joked as he slid his shirt off.

An uncharacteristic coyness touched Remus’ mouth. “I was hoping you might get in here with me, actually,” he murmured.

“Oh.”

Warm affection coursed up Sirius’ torso; he didn’t need to be asked again. Skittering the rest of his clothes off, he stepped into the bath. They shifted together slow and careful. Remus leaned against Sirius’ back and placed a light kiss to his shoulder.

“I thought you were worried,” he said, so quiet Sirius almost thought he’d imagined it. “About me and James. We do love each other incredibly but he’ll never be a threat to you. Okay?” Remus pushed Sirius’ hair aside, tracking kisses across his back.

Sirius shifted against Remus’ touch, the pleasant warmness in him increasing. “Very okay. That’s what I thought really. But it never hurts to check with boundaries.”

“Mm.” Remus stroked Sirius’ chest; he twitched when a stray finger knocked his piercing.

Gentle silence slipped between them; they spoke instead through the press of warm skin and soft, innocent touches. Remus moved a hand to Sirius’ neck, rubbing small, firm circles . “Are you always this tight?”

“Yeah. I hate my job.”

“Do you have the authority to fire yourself?” Remus asked, impressively serious.

“I’ve no idea,” Sirius replied, unable to keep a laugh out of his own tone. He tipped into Remus’ fingertips. “But philanthropy costs money, so I just keep going.”

Remus didn’t answer. His hands worked steadily at the knots along Sirius’ spine. The bubbles simmered away but Remus didn’t stop until Sirius murmured, “The water’s getting cold.”

“It is,” Remus agreed. “Time to make that supper I promised you, hm?”

They clambered from the bath, a twinge of discomfort colouring Remus’ face as Sirius helped him up. They moved around one another in companionable silence as they dressed. Once clothed, Remus perched on the edge of the bed and began fiddling with the ribbon on his wrist.

“What’re you doing?” Sirius asked.

“It keeps coming undone,” Remus replied, frowning through his wet curls. “I’m pinning the bow.”

“D’you need a hand?” Sirius knelt beside him.

Remus looked amazingly mischievous as he stretched his arm out and displayed an unclipped pin sticking through the fabric.

Staring in astonishment Sirius said, “Is that my tie-pin?”

“Not anymore,” Remus smiled.

Bemused, yet strangely flattered, Sirius clasped the pin. Bowing his head, he kissed the heel of Remus’ palm and lingered for a moment, breathing his scent.

“Supper then?” Remus asked. His voice sounded oddly strangled.

“Why don’t I cook?” Sirius offered on impulse. “I quite enjoy it and I’m pretty decent.”

Looking taken aback, Remus stammered, “Well, sure, if you like. But you are my guest.”

“You gave me a neck rub, so it only seems fair.” Sirius pressed Remus onto a hug, stroking a hand down his back. “And you’re too thin and bony, so whatever you cook clearly is not enough.”

“Shut up,” Remus said without real heat. “C’mon then and prove yourself, Mr Braggadocio.”

Remus limped away. A tide of emotion rose in Sirius’ throat; he shoved it down and followed Remus to the kitchen.

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Damn the author!

Is this chapter _really_ ending here?! Without any information on what’s happening between James and Regulus? Should we read into this absence and expect the worst, or is the author actually making a deliberate structural choice?

One thing is for sure – we’re unlikely to get a direct answer from a direct question. Come back next time to indulge in further frustration and unsatisfying story-telling.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things are very scrambled for me at the moment, so the updates may be a little random. I'll still be aiming for one a week, it might just be on a different day to usual.


	14. Cornwall

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wherein Sirius throws a hissy fit and James and Remus go away together.

For the first time since their saga began, our four remarkably improbable protagonists are completely separated by time and space. An annoying amount of unnecessary emo has come to fill the void...

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_Regulus_

“Haven’t we been dating long enough for you to bring me on holiday with you?” Hooking his thumbs into his belt, Regulus watched James pull a suitcase from under his bed; it was a great angle to check out his arse.

“Can’t bear to be away from me, huh?” James tossed the case roughly onto his bed and threw it open. “It’s only for a fortnight, you’ll manage I’m sure.”

“It’ll be a blessing to be away from you, actually.”

“Charming,” James replied, flicking him an amused glance before crossing to his wardrobe.

Regulus glared. “I’m well behind on my study because of you. This’ll give me a chance to make my grades up.”

“Yeah, it’d be pretty awful if your grades were so bad even nepotism won’t secure you a job.”

“Shut your mouth, James.”

James turned and strode across the room, leaning in close and intimidating. “Why don’t you shut it for me?”

Forcing his face into impassivity, Regulus stood his ground.

James reached out a lazy hand and began to tug down Regulus’ hoodie zipper. He spoke in a low and very appealing voice. “You can stand there pretending to be unimpressed, but we both know that by the time my hand reaches the bottom of this ridiculously oversized jumper you’re going to be very ready for me to ... shut my mouth.”

Regulus’ breath hitched and James smirked. His hand stopped, pressing smooth against Regulus belly.

Striving for an unaffected tone, Regulus said, “Aren’t you supposed to be packing?”

Raising his an amused eyebrow, James shifted back. “Well, if you don’t fancy me blowing you.” He yanked the zip fully open and walked away.

In hindsight, he ought to have known better than to try and call James’ bluff – he was far too good at being frustrating. Still, that night was spent looped together within a cave of blankets, creating memories to replace the approaching separation.

An element of unease lingered in Regulus’ heart when he thought of James being alone with Remus. Even after their long and unpleasant conversation, he was not completely reassured. Worse, he missed James far more than he had expected to.

A week later, he was feeling an odd loneliness compounded by the fact that his and Sirius’ schedules kept misaligning. Then, one night he arrived home to find Sirius slouched over a desk in the study, an unopened bag of takeaway beside his ledgers. He said, “I forgot you lived here.”

“So did I,” Sirius replied, exhausted. “I got food for us, help yourself.”

“I’ll wait for you,” Regulus offered. He folded himself into an armchair and peered at Sirius through his fringe. “What’s up? You missing Remus?”

“Yeah, let’s call it that,” Sirius muttered, scrubbing both hands across his face. Emotion crackled in the air around him and suddenly Sirius exploded, “I’m sick of running this fucking business!”

Regulus sat firm – he knew better than to feed Sirius’ temper. “What’s happened?”

Sirius jumped up and kicked his chair over. “I’m not designed to sit behind a goddamn desk! Pushing paper so other people can actually make a _change_ in the world. I’ve worked back every _fucking_ night this week and I’m getting _nowhere_!”

Reacting would only make things worse. Regulus leaned back and eyed Sirius, patiently silent.

Sirius flung a record book across the room; it hit the wall and a handful of pages burst free.

“I could be out there, doing things and fighting for a difference, but _instead_ I’m smiling at two-faced pricks and plastic sycophants who just want to siphon off our money! I’m trapped inside this corporate fucking cage, absolutely no good to anyone! I’m not a philanthropist or an activist, or anything but a _fraud!_ ” Illustrating his point, Sirius grabbed his necklace and yanked it off, throwing the string of tiny rainbow stars hurtling across the room. They scattered like confetti. Sirius rounded on Regulus. “Well?” he demanded. “What do _you_ think, little brother? Surely your smart-mouth has something to say.”

Coolly, Regulus tipped his chin towards the broken chain. “I say, you’re going to regret having done that.” The necklace had always been Sirius’ favourite.

And Sirius turned to look. The fight burned out of him as quickly as it had appeared. He dropped to the floor like an exhausted toddler, curling in on himself, shivering. Covering his face, he rasped through his hands, “Yeah.”

Seeing Sirius vulnerable was never likable – but Regulus was used to his stressed, ungoverned tempers. He waited until Sirius had begun properly to calm before asking again, “So what happened?”

Rubbing tired eyes, Sirius looked up.”Same old bullshit... Why didn’t I just sell the business when Alphard died? Who am I trying to kid, I’m no businessman.”

Taking a slow breath, Regulus slid to the floor and reached for Sirius’ hands, twisting their fingers together. He forced away his customary aloofness, making his voice very gentle. “Hey, remember that I graduate soon. You could bring me in to help already.”

“You haven’t got the time,” Sirius sneered. “You’re always off with James.”

“Whatever,” Regulus replied with equal disdain. “You can’t play the martyr with me, Sirius.”

A beat passed between them before Sirius heaved a defeated sigh and squeezed Regulus’ hand. “Thanks. We’ll talk about it another time, okay? Go and sort out that food while I just have a minute, hey?”

“Sure thing.”

Regulus took a long time fiddling with the takeaway before he returned. Sirius’ outbursts left him unsettled and restless, unsure what to say or how to help. Waiting long enough to be sure Sirius would have re-established some equilibrium, he returned to find Sirius gazing balefully at a palm full of star charms.

They each picked listlessly at their meal around stilted small talk, until Sirius yanked Regulus into a crushing hug. “Thanks Reg,” he said. “I’m for bed. Sleep it off, right?”

“Right,” Regulus said. As soon as he was sure Sirius was out of earshot, he sat at the desk and began going over the ledgers.

l-l

... meanwhile, in a southern town by a raggedy coast...

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_Remus_

As was his wont, Remus insisted on being difficult about James trying to do something kind and supportive for him. He said, “James, we can’t both be away from the cafe.”

“Course we can,” James replied cheerily, tossing a load of Remus’ clothes haphazardly into a suitcase.

“Not for this long, surely.”

“Remus, if I have to tie you up and throw you in the boot of my car to get you there, then that is what I’ll do. You’ll thank me when we get there.”

Even after so many years, Remus still felt a vague embarrassment about visiting the Potters. Yet James was right, of course. He stepped out the car and into the cool salt air where Fleamont was waiting with a bear hug and cheek kisses.

The long drive was eased out with yoga by the ocean, Remus stretching away his flighty mood while James had some uninterrupted family time.

That night he was firmly herded into the sitting room when he was caught trying to slip away unseen. James hauled him onto the couch and Fleamont shoved a mug of tea into his hand. A fire shook cozily behind the grate.

“So, tell us all about your Regulus, Jimmy.” Fleamont folded himself into a chair.

“Yeah, he’s a bit alright,” James grinned. “Bit young, maybe.”

“He’ll grow,” Euphemia said, entering the room and putting down a plate of biscuits. She gave Remus a very stern look and he took one to stave off another lecture about being too thin.

“Yeah, I think he’ll get there,” James said, smiling vaguely. “I’ve an idea to keep him around for a bit, anyway.”

“So why isn’t he here for us to inspect?” Fleamont asked.

“Why’re you pestering me?” James cried, all good-natured. “I’ve had a dozen potentials. _Remus_ dating someone, now that’s news.”

Remus cringed back in his seat. Not content with throwing Remus under the bus, James leaned over and licked his neck. Remus jolted, trying desperately not to tip scalding tea down himself. “Oh my god, Prongs! Why do I put up with you?”

“Same reason we do,” Euphemia smiled.

“Because I’m good company,” James interjected.

“Something like that,” Fleamont said, voice wry.

James beamed at them all and Remus hunkered further into his seat, trying to avoid Euphemia’s sharp hazel eyes. It was futile. Her tone was so soft it hurt. “We are very pleased that you’re seeing someone, Remus.”

“We think it’ll do you good,” Fleamont agreed, his moustache twitching over a hidden smile. “So, what’s he like, your young man?”

“Rich, gorgeous, pliable,” Remus said as calmly as his thudding heart would allow.

Through the steam from her mug, Euphemia scrutinised Remus in a way that was almost disturbing. “Sounds too good to be true,” she said. “Is he? You’re certainly not looking as well as we’d like.”

“Oh no,” Remus said, lying. “I’m fine. It’s just something I’m still getting used to.”

“Sirius is mad about him,” James said, throwing Remus a sly, sideways glance. “Head over heels in love.”

“I thought this was supposed to be a relaxing trip, not an intervention,” Remus snapped.

“It can be both,” Fleamont said in his amiable way. “What’s worrying you son?”

There was nothing for it but to talk – as infuriating and relentless as James was, his parents were innumerable times worse.

Taking an unsteady breath, he admitted, “I just can’t seem to convince myself that this is the right thing to do. I guess commitment just doesn’t come naturally to me.”

“It’s not about commitment, Remus,” Euphemia said softly. She reached for his hand, a bracing squeeze. “It’s trust. And it doesn’t matter who they are, or how wonderful they are, trust takes time.”

Trying to avoid things didn’t work with the Potters. In some ways it helped, but Remus definitely didn’t like it. He was tired and irritable when he finally slid into bed, but found himself caught in thought and unable to sleep. He was horrified to realise he was already missing Sirius.

Scowling at the ceiling, Remus started violently when the door pushed open – James slipped into his room. Without a word, Remus made room for him in the bed and James pulled him into a comforting hug, stroking a vague hand into his curls. Remus curled against him.

“I’m worried about you,” James whispered into the night time.

“Don’t be,” Remus said, and then a long silence drifted between them.  He could hear the slow, steady thump of James’ heartbeat; a calming rhythm. But of course, trying to dismiss James was an impossible task.

“Moony, I need to ask you something.” James’ voice was twisted with something Remus didn’t recognise. Not wanting to question it, he merely grunted acquiescence. “I know I tease you a lot about Sirius, but ... are you in love with him?”

A pulse of stress sent Remus’ heartbeat into vibrato. “Just don’t,” he warned. James’ arm tightened around him, keeping him close when Remus tried to pull away.

James subtly changed tack. Rubbing soft circles into Remus’ scalp, he asked, “Does it feel happy yet?

Unwilling misery surged into Remus’ blood, but he nodded. Pressing his face into James’ chest, he admitted, “It scares me.” The words hurt his throat.

“That’s because you’ve got something you don’t want to lose,” James said, his voice the gentlest thread. Remus wanted to argue with him but couldn’t. James squeezed him. “Moony, I’m always going to look after you. You just need to get out of your head and let me.”

“I’m trying,” Remus mumbled. “It’s not easy.”

“I know,” James said. “Hey, c’mere.”

Sliding a hand under Remus’ jaw, James tipped his face up and drew him into a sweet kiss. James’ kisses were always overloaded with giving emotion, soft and tender, gentle seduction. There was safety in every part of him, strength in his warm touches. Remus stopped thinking and gave into them.

l-l

For a story made of dust bunnies, the characters seem to want complex, layered storylines and personalities to drive them – who’d have thunk it?

Next week we ignore that, because there are other things to do, like grooming the fluff on those dust bunnies.


	15. Blackout

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> James and Remus return to Hackney to find a storm has knocked out their power. It doesn't stop Regulus and Sirius visiting.

 

With the awkward structure of last week’s chapter well behind us, we forge ahead with the story once James and Remus have returned home. It’s time to throw our charming queers into a bit of group nonsense...

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_Remus_

The night he returned to the city Remus surprised Sirius by picking him up from work. They went for supper at the posh restaurant of their first date. Remus was distracted throughout the meal, blood shivering with an increasing lust, fed wholly by the way Sirius stared at him while biting his lip, and the way his fingers brushed across Remus’ wrist, toying with the ribbon.

The drive home was painfully slow, made worse by wild weather. Remus considered pulling down a side road and just fucking Sirius on the back seat. He was caught up in his own impatience. Finally reaching the house was a relief.

Remus fiddled with the lock and they staggered out of the weather and into the hallway. Making for the stairs, he dragged Sirius roughly behind him – and James’ voice suddenly echoed towards them: “Moony! We’ve got no power, hang on...”

Heart sinking, Remus turned as James appeared in the drawing room doorway, grinning madly above the beam of a torchlight. “Spooky, right?”

“No,” Remus said flatly, snatching the torch. “Piss off, would you?”

“Hm? Oh! Hi, Sirius.” James’ grin turned impish. “I shouldn’t be surprised, really. Reggie came straight from classes.”

And behind James, Remus suddenly spied Regulus, who said, “Hello brother. Remus.”

“Chappie,” Remus greeted him evenly. The line of quiet uncertainty above Regulus’ brows amused him. “What’s wrong with the power then?”

James shrugged. “Apparently it’s something to do with my property line. But the weather’s knocked one of the boroughs down so they won’t prioritise a team. We’re going without eckeltricity until tomorrow, my dear.”

“That’s alright.” Remus smiled, eyeing Sirius. “I can fuck in the dark when I must,”

“Yeah, you can keep that to yourself,” Regulus said in a dispassionate tone. He moved seamlessly back into the shadows.

Remus considered the empty space for a moment. “Sorry,” he said after a beat. “Have we just spoiled your evening?”

“You’re both spoiling mine,” Sirius grumbled beside him.

It was the wrong thing to say. Remus groaned as a brilliant grin fractured James’ face.

Bouncing forwards, he swung an arm around Sirius’ shoulders and forcibly steered him towards the drawing room. “Ah, Sirius,” he said, throwing Remus a wink over his shoulder; it was almost lost to the dark. “Let me teach you about the pleasures of delayed gratification...”

Defeated, Remus shook his head. He followed them, letting a wry smile curve his lips.

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_Regulus_

“Prongs, where’s your speaker, goddammit?” Remus’ disembodied voice curved through the shadows from the next room.

“Just keep looking, Moony.” James pulled an armload of blankets from a cupboard and dropped them on Regulus’ head. Beside him on the hearth Sirius was scowling so evilly Regulus could almost feel it adding to the moody atmosphere.

He could understand Sirius’ irritation – he was uncomfortably desperate to get off himself.

James set about preparing a fire, hands moving with deft precision. There was something about his casual competence that Regulus found subtly arousing. It befuddled him.

“Aha!” James cried, striking a match. He sat back to watch the fire take. It picked up beautifully, pleasant warmth licking off the wood. “Excellent,” James said. He disappeared to the kitchen, slapping a high five with Remus as the latter returned with a speaker dock.

Regulus was stunned beyond belief when Remus flung himself onto the floor close beside him. With lazy grace, Remus tapped Regulus’ knee and said, “I’ve got just the thing for you, chap.” He hit play on his music device and gentle song crept into the dark air between them. “Let me introduce you to The Smiths.”

Raising an eyebrow, Regulus scanned Remus with a cool gaze. “This doesn’t sound like my kind of thing.”

Remus smiled at him, mild and calm and not without arrogance. “Trust me.”

Trusting Remus went against his every impulse. Regulus eyed him, annoyed and unnerved despite himself.

“Now that’s a nice sight,” James said, reappearing. “My two best guys together. And you’re also here!” he said to Sirius, smiling bright. Distributing snacks, he folded himself on the floor wonderfully close to Regulus, crushing a whiskey bottle into his hand. Feigning inconvenience, Regulus made space for him. With a knowing smirk, James wrapped an arm around his waist and leaned slowly forwards. He licked Regulus’ nose.

“Ohh, I hate you,” Regulus said, striving to keep any level of affection out of his voice.

Remus laughed and pressed his knee again, then scuttled towards Sirius who appeared determined to remain aggravated. “Why’re we all sitting on the fucking floor?”

“Ambience,” James said. “Have a drink and stop being dog-faced.”

“Yeah.” Mischief quirked the edge of Remus’ mouth. “Play nice or I’ll have to punish you.”

“I’m going to kill you while you’re sleeping,” Sirius rejoined in a dark growl.

Grimacing, Regulus concentrated on the music to distract from their flirting. A sudden, startling lyric caught his ear: “ _If it’s not love then it’s the bomb that will bring us together._ ”

Despite himself, Regulus’ interest was piqued. “Uh ... what’s this song supposed to be about?”

James’ head dropped against his shoulder, nestling. “This is Moony’s _mood_ music. He thinks it’s deep. But I don’t usually worry unless he starts wallowing for days with Radiohead.”

“Fuck off, Prongs,” Remus said, sounding idle and disinterested. His fingers curled through Sirius’ hair, eyes fixed on the flickering rush of flames in the fireplace.

James gave the softest chuckle and tugged Regulus’ nose ring. “This song isn’t deep at all though, Reggie. It’s just true.”

Regulus twitched a surprised eyebrow. He murmured, “I thought I was the cynical one.”

“I’m far too intelligent to ignore plain facts, little man. But that’s a whole conversation in which I have no interest tonight.” James picked up a marshmallow and threw it at Remus. “You and your fucking gloom tunes, Moony.”

“Shut up and pass us that bottle, would you?”

Regulus handed the whiskey over. Intrigued, he returned his attention to the music.

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_Sirius_

While it was undeniably pleasant chatting and laughing as a group beside the fire, Sirius was rather irate at not having Remus to himself. All he wanted was to get naked and spend the night devouring him.

He was increasingly frustrated, whiskey and slow-passing time not helping. Everything Remus did fuelled his dissatisfaction: softly crooned song lyrics breathed against his skin; clever hands sliding across his body... It was a lesson in patience Sirius was determined to fail.

Remus’ hand slipped beneath Sirius’ shirt, gliding up his body as he hummed, “ _Let me get my hands..._ ” His long fingers smoothed across Sirius’ chest, deliberately flicking hard at his piercing; Sirius flinched. “ _On your mammary glands..._ ”

Closing his teeth on Remus’ ear, Sirius muttered, “I really want to fuck you, when are we going upstairs?”

“Mm,” Remus pressed against him, an edge of control lacing his words. “Why don’t you beg me?”

A barb of lust snagged in Sirius’ chest. He breathed, “Make me.”

“I hope you two are keeping it PG over there,” James interrupted. “Did I see some tongue action?”

“Absolutely not, Prongs,” Remus said. He sounded far calmer than Sirius thought reasonable.

“People consuming food over here,” Regulus deadpanned. He punctuated the words by shoving a marshmallow into his mouth.

“Don’t worry chappie, I’m very big on boundaries.” Remus’ smile was unreadable.

“Says the man who used to be a stripper,” Sirius joked.

An infinitesimal beat of silence struck the room then James burst into uproarious laughter. “Did he tell you that?! Oh Moony, you’re hilarious.”

“Indeed,” Remus said, grabbing the whisky bottle and taking a slow sip.

“Would that it were true,” Sirius teased. It was a fine fantasy.

Remus’ expression was perfectly bland. “Oh, if only it weren’t for boundaries, Padfoot. Then who knows what might have been.”

“Moony, you’re such a git sometimes,” James said, reaching across Regulus to slap him and missing spectacularly. They shared a grin which flickered with fiery shadows. Sirius couldn’t read it and didn’t particularly care to.

But he did want Remus’ attention back on himself. Surreptitious in the dark, he stroked a hand up Remus’ thigh, getting only a mild glance for his efforts, a silent tease. Suddenly Remus’ smile yielded and he wrapped a warm hand around Sirius’ fingers. “Come on then. I’ve got a special present for you upstairs.”

“Dear lord, you’re in mixed company!” James cried.

“Yeah, that’s more than I needed to hear,” Regulus agreed.

“You people are dirty minded. Sirius, I got you an _actual_ gift while we were in Cornwall.”

“Lucky me,” Sirius grinned, clambering eagerly to his feet. Remus grabbed a candle stick and steered him towards the stairs.

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_James_

“I rather enjoyed that visit,” James said, smiling. He got up to tend the fire.

“I’m sure,” Regulus replied without inflection, stretching. James threw an appreciative glance over his shoulder and surprised a slightly glazed look in Regulus’ eyes.

“What’s that look for?”

The slightest flush of pink rose in Regulus’ face. James found it very pleasing, especially when it was followed by a shudder of self-mortification. He laughed gently and crawled back over.

Regulus shook a hand through his hair, eyes dark in the firelight. “I like seeing you being ... capable.”

In mock astonishment, James said, “Oh, you actually _like_ things?”

It earned him a glare. Still laughing, James knelt beside him and ran his hands through Regulus’ hair, sweeping it away from his face again.

Regulus remained stoic. “You’re an absolute arsehole, you know.”

“I know,” James agreed, softening his smile. He stroked a slow hand down Regulus’ neck. “So, we’re alone again. What would you like to do now?”

Regulus’ squint was sharp. “We could have been alone this whole time. Except _you_ invited them to join us.”

“Time is infinite, Reggie. Doesn’t hurt to share some of it.”

“I suppose,” Regulus countered. “In the same way that I’m sharing my study time with you.”

“You make it sound like such an inconvenience,” James said, amused. “Yet we both know you were absolutely gagging to see me.” Regulus blinked a frown, his mouth pressed thin with angry frustration. Teasing, James continued, “You’re always welcome to return to your books. If you feel that’s a better use of your time.”

“I’m going off you,” Regulus said evenly.

“No you’re not,” James grinned. “And even if you were I could win you over again with that tongue thing you love so much.”

“Don’t bring that up unless you’re going to do it,” Regulus said, his snappish tone cracking with a sharp spark of need.

“My apologies,” James said, stroking a seductive hand down Regulus’ throat. “I won’t mention it again.”

A pause, then: “You mean you aren’t going to do it? That goes against our agreement.”

“Ah,” James said, shifting his other hand beneath the hem of Regulus’ top, pressing his belly. “But we didn’t form the agreement until after I said it. So it doesn’t apply this time.”

Regulus chewed his tongue, scowling. “I think I really might be going off you.”

“You’re not going to convince me to do tongue things that way.” James smirked and pushed him to the floor, stretching aggressively above him. Surprised approval flashed across Regulus’ face. “I respond much better to accolades, Reggie ... how about some appreciation for my supreme intellect, or gentle applause for the fact that I simply exist? Come up with something off the cuff yet heartfelt, there you go.”

“Oh my fucking god, James. Shut up, would you?” Roughly, Regulus grabbed James’ collar and yanked him down, kissing him with forceful headiness. His fingers fumbled furiously at James’ buttons.

Pulling away, James chided, “Oy, this is bespoke, fucking watch it.”

“Stop talking and put your mouth to proper use,” Regulus growled, but he worked the buttons more carefully. Together they stripped away the layers of clothing that kept them apart, seeking the unique thrill of each other.

The fire was warm on James’ naked skin, but it was Regulus’ heat he wanted. Eager need intensified each touch and every taste until tortuous bliss somehow shattered them together. Afterwards, they snuggled in a huddle of blankets beside the fire’s decadent glow, bare limbs entwined.

“Mm.” James mumbled against Regulus’ shoulder, “I’ve missed that.”

The gentleness that sometimes seeped through the cracks in Regulus’ brittle demeanour seemed unusually pronounced. James knew better than to comment; instead he pulled Regulus tight against him, easing the vulnerability with a protective curve of warm touch.

Regulus’ mouth moved against his hair. “I missed you,” he said. “Next time will you take me with you?”

“If you like,” James said neutrally. “But you’ll have to endure my parentals.”

Regulus shifted against him. His voice was soft, completely without its customary bite. “Yeah... I think I’d kinda like that, Jamie.”

The unexpected diminutive sent a ripple through James’ chest, alarming a spike in his heartbeat. He avoided answering with a gentle, sleepy kiss.

l-l

Unlikely though it may appear there are important details peppered through this chapter.

Though perhaps ‘important’ is too optimistic a word.

For the uninitiated wishing to take advantage of the gratuitous Smiths plug, the author suggests a gentle introduction only to well-adjusted individuals. The author is also a hypocrite – but you didn’t hear that here.


	16. Prank

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Remus and James show Regulus how mischief works by pulling a prank on Sirius.

This week, each of our gentle heroes is about mischief. It is a time of pranking...

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_James_

“What do you mean you’ve never played any pranks?” James stared at Regulus, aghast and disbelieving. “I mean, you _must_ have ... joke phone calls or mooning someone or _something_.”

“Ah, those were the days,” Remus smiled reminiscently.

Arching an eyebrow, Regulus asked tartly, “Is that how you got your nickname then?”

“No, that’s because he’s a thief,” James said, brusque and dismissive. “And we’re not talking about Remus. We need to initiate _you_ into mischief making my good fellow.”

“Hang on,” Sirius interrupted. “How do you get _Moony_ from thief?”

While laughing at his immense confusion James’ answer was pre-empted by a low, warning growl from Remus: “Prongs...”

He knew that tone. The first time James had ignored it Remus had stabbed him with a fork; his hand twitched. “Sorry lads, secrecy laws and all that.”

Sirius glanced between them strangely. An edge of confusion crept into the light-hearted atmosphere.

It was broken by the chime of the doorbell. Regulus hoisted himself off the couch. “I’ll get it.”

“Here,” James said, pulling out his wallet and forcing it into Regulus’ hand. “It was my idea to get pizza, so let me pay.”

“It really doesn’t matter,” Sirius said.

“Don’t even try arguing, Padfoot,” Remus said, sounding sleepy. He was curled up in a chair, legs hooked over the armrest. “Tell James about that hubcap prank you allege to have instigated.”

“Fuck you! I did instigate it,” Sirius cried, but he was laughing.

Remus’ answering smile was soft and tranquil, a true peacefulness James had rarely seen in him. It sent a twist through his belly.

Seeming to feel his scrutiny, Remus’ gaze rolled towards him. Their eyes met for a moment – and then Regulus re-entered the room, laden with boxes. Stacking them down on the coffee table, he forced a bland tone and said, “James – help me get drinks would you?”

Unfolding himself from the couch, James followed Regulus into the kitchen. He roughed a hand through his hair, sensing trouble. “What’s up, Reggie?”

Regulus returned his wallet, bemusement cracking through his stoicism. “Just ... I’m not trying to be painful about things, but – _why_ do you have a naked photo of Remus in your wallet?”

“ _What?_ ” The word burst from him, riding a laugh. Flipping his wallet open, James flashed the offending photograph towards Regulus. “Do you mean this one?”

“That’s the one,” Regulus said, crossing his arms. He covered his discomfort with customary indifference.

Smirking affection, James wrapped his arms around Regulus’ shoulders. “Reggie. That photo was taken on a beach. Remus was definitely wearing trunks. If you’d snooped a little further you would also have found a picture of my parents and some cherry condoms.”

Mouth twisting, Regulus relaxed against him. Seductive fingers closed on James’ waistband. “Well, I wish I could take advantage of that information.”

Pulling him closer, James kissed Regulus with a deep, lingering thoroughness, an absolute promise of what he could expect later that night.

Breath an unsteady shudder, Regulus broke the kiss and stepped back. “We should have gone back to your place so we could be alone,” he said in a grumpy mumble. “You make it impossible not to want to fuck you.”

“Mm,” James slid his mouth across Regulus’ throat. “Think how great the payoff is going to be when you finally can.”

“You’re insufferable,” Regulus said, tipping his head back in invitation. He sounded breathless.

“Yet you remain intent on suffering me,” James sighed into Regulus’ skin. “C’mon then. Let’s go and eat before it gets cold.”

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_Remus_

“You’re a total arsehole,” Remus said, excited. “Do you think it will actually work?”

“Definitely.” James was perfect confidence, sprawled across the foot of Remus’ bed. He washed through an box of old photographs. “There’s no way Reggie will keep that information to himself. Both of them will want to know if you have a picture of me – they’re weird like that.”

“Or maybe we are,” Remus said, amused. He stretched out beside James, hooking an arm around his waist. “This is probably unusual behaviour.”

“Just help me find the damn photo, Moony,” James said. “I know there’s one here from final year.”

Squinting into the box, Remus said, “Why not just take another one? A recent picture will surely have more impact. If we’re gonna fuck with their minds let’s at least do it properly.”

James paused then rolled to face Remus. Pure mischief lit his face. “Yes! That’s so much better an idea. That’s _so_ much better. See Moony, this is why we’re a team.”

“Yeah,” Remus said dispassionately. He arched an eyebrow. “But I’m not taking the picture for you.”

“I wouldn’t dream of asking you,” James said. “You’re far too delicate for that. Though you’re going to let me take pictures of you, right?” He flashed Remus a very inappropriate look.

Laughing, Remus shoved his face with a playful hand and didn’t answer.

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_Sirius_

Remus was running the bath. The water was a lovely white noise pulse echoing towards him, scented steam carrying a promise.

Reclining on the bed, Sirius glanced through the ensuite doorway – Remus was bent over the tub. While it was a lovely sight, Sirius turned away. This was his opportunity. His sneaky hand crept for Remus’ wallet.

Outright asking Remus if he kept anyone’s photograph in his wallet was just so offbeat that Sirius couldn’t think of a way to without appearing massively strange. Yet, after what Regulus had told him about the image in James’ wallet he remained immeasurably curious.

It felt naughty prying, but not enough to stop Sirius snagging Remus’ wallet from the bedside and flipping it open.

A scatter of photographs fell immediately free and tumbled onto his lap. Mouth falling open, Sirius picked one up and stared at it.

It was Remus. Completely _naked_ Remus.

“Ah...” a decidedly un-masculine sound escaped Sirius. He grabbed at the other pictures, slowly ruffling from one to the next.

Every snapshot was a naked Remus, effortlessly sexy in a way completely irrespective of being undressed: a soapy image fresh from the shower, another sprawled lazily over the bed ... random awkward angles that were somehow entirely marvellous.

Feeling somewhat pleasant, Sirius flipped to the next picture – and an unearthly shriek split his lungs. He flung the photo away and skittered impulsively backwards, thudding his skull painfully against the iron bars of Remus’ headboard. “Ow...”

“Padfoot?” Remus’ voice called from the bathroom and a rill of panic shot along Sirius’ spine. He scrabbled to put the photos away, but too late. Remus stepped into the room. “What were doing?” He would have sounded suspicious if it weren’t for his obvious amusement.

Frantic, Sirius lied, “I was ... checking your date of birth. On your ID.”

“I’ve been legal for years, Sirius,” Remus said. His mouth twitched as he cast slow eyes across the scene. “Ah. So James was right. The fucker’s gonna hold this one over me for ages ... though by now, I really ought to know better than to doubt him.”

“What?” Sirius gaped up at him, trying to process what Remus was saying. “Fuck, you’re cross with me, right?”

Remus actually laughed. He perched beside Sirius and scooped up the pictures, casting a mild gaze over his own unclothed image. A small laugh parted his lips as he eyed James’. “Goodness. That man does nothing by halves, does he?” Head tipping sideways, Remus considered the photo for what Sirius deemed an indecently long time. Without warning, he flicked it at Sirius. “Keep it.”

Blustering, Sirius said, “I don’t want it!”

Smiling, Remus passed him the other pictures. “Tell you what, keep these too. After all, I can see myself naked anytime I like.”

The bathtub beckoned. Shoving the pictures aside, Sirius canted hungrily towards Remus. “Prove it.”

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_Regulus_

“That’s surely the nastiest prank I’ve ever heard!” Regulus bit, but he couldn’t be upset – Sirius had given him the photograph of naked James.

“Ah, it’s not.” Remus was flippant. “I reckon that was the time James stitched up the hems in every single pair of trousers I own. Including the tailored ones he insists on buying me.”

“What, you had no trousers at all?” Sirius asked, swinging slippered feet into Remus’ lap.

“Not a single pair,” Remus confirmed.

Peering at him, Regulus asked, “So ... what did you do?”

Remus shrugged, but his shining eyes were mirthful. “I hacked the cuffs off and went to work. The cafe patrons all got to indulge in my fantastic ankles and James admitted defeat before giving me a round of applause in the middle of the store.”

“You allow pranks at work?” Sirius asked, a thread of envy pulling through his words.

Remus shrugged. “It brings in custom.”

There was a rumble of sound, the thud of a door. A few moments later James appeared, beaming. “Sorry I’m late, lads,” he said – then with supreme cheek he turned and blew Sirius a kiss.

Flushing deeper than Regulus had ever seen, Sirius coughed violently. Refusing to meet James’ eyes, he jumped up and scuttled from the room, hiding behind his hair as he darted past James, who looked perfectly delighted.  Regulus was impressed by the evenness of James’ voice. “Poor lad seems a bit ruffled. Why was he wearing your slippers, Moony?”

“He commandeers them every time he visits,” Remus said, sharing James’ twinkling grin.

“Oh no,” James said, all mock-seriousness. “No. I bought them for you, Moony. Therefore I retain property rights...” He raised his voice with decisive flair. “In retaliation I shall fill Sirius’ boots with porridge.”

“Don’t you fucking dare, they’re Terry de Havilland!” Sirius’ outraged voice echoed along the hallway.

“You’d better hide them, _Padfoot_!” James cried. He dropped his bag and raced from the room. Sirius’ shrieked in a startling and rather unbecoming way, and a thunder of footsteps hit the party stairs.

“Don’t you dare go into my flat while I’m not there, arseholes!” Remus hollered after them.

“Get the oats on, Moony!” James’ called back. “Classic porridge prank!”

There was a sudden scream, punctuated with gasping laughter. “Get off me you pervert! _Argh_ , no! _No!_ ”

Maniacal laughter echoed through the hallway. Though bemused, Regulus couldn’t help but vicariously enjoy their delight. Rippling warmth spread a happy flutter through his belly as he absorbed the clamour of wonderfully affectionate rough-housing.

But a moment later Regulus realised he was alone with Remus. He glanced over, attempting to hide the acute nervousness that gripped him. He was trying for James’ sake, yet Remus remained a painfully grating unknown quantity.

For once Remus’ sparkling eyes were not laughing at his discomfort.

“Okay chappie,” he said in a quiet, conspiratorial tone, leaning towards Regulus. “We got your brother. Now I’ll fix up your nail polish ... and teach you how to prank James.”

l-l

Equally incorrigible, Remus exacerbates Regulus’ uneasiness through exploitative hand-holding, while James insists on traumatising Sirius with arguably inappropriate physicality.

Oh dear.


	17. Homophobia

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys have a run-in with some haters. But it all ends well.
> 
> "The good ended happily, and the bad unhappily. That is what fiction means." - OW

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING:
> 
> So, if you're at all concerned about being upset or triggered by homophobic scenes or minor violence then feel free to scroll down to Sirius' part, or skip the chapter entirely. I've kept it toned down, but the themes may still be unpleasant.
> 
> I have posted two chapters back to back, so you need not miss out on an update if you prefer to skip this one.

 

This time things get a bit unpleasant for our jovial protagonists. Fuck society, up the revolution, don’t make these boys angry...

l-l

_James_

“This is what it’s all about,” James said, leaning lazily on the counter. Regulus eyed him sans interest. “Groups of pretty people having queer meet-ups ... this is exactly why I started this cafe.”

“You do realise places like this already existed, right?” Regulus’ tone was almost disdainful.

“But this is mine, so it’s the best.” James gave him a playful slap. “Still, I mean it – Moony and I didn’t have a place like this growing up. A safe space with people we could relate to.”

Regulus shifted his weight; James happily watched the sway of his hips. “So you guys grew up with all of that super-angst happening, huh?”

Studying him, James wept thoughtful fingers across his mouth. “Maybe,” he said.

A sneer pinched Regulus’ eyes. “That’s not an answer.”

“And yet it’s the only one you’re getting.” James forced a bright tone and pushed aside his smoky memories. Coiling an arm around Regulus’, he dragged their bodies together. “Mm. So, what about you? Islington full of gay cafes is it?”

Perfectly stoic, Regulus resisted James’ flirtations. “Do you realise that what you’re doing right now is extremely unprofessional?” he asked in a dead voice.

“You’re right,” James said. He rocked hard and deliberate against Regulus. “Part of our marketing is letting the customers think they have a chance to get off with me. It’s very good of you to think of my business over your own needs, especially when I was planning to blow you in my office. Too bad.”

“Shut up, Jamie,” Regulus said, threading his fingers into James’ hair and urging him closer...

Some patron noticed and started a cheer bouncing around the room. Embarrassed, Regulus neatly stepped away, but James still saw the soft smile pulling at his mouth.

Throwing his arms wide, he cried, “Don’t worry my beauties! There’s plenty of Prongs to go around.” Surreptitiously squeezing Regulus’ arse, James left the counter and began to mingle.

The customers seemed thrilled to have his attention, an equal mix of curious questions about his relationship and complete disregard for it. Many people assumed Regulus was just the same to him as Remus was. James exploited it – the flirting really was good for business.

Every so often he glanced at Regulus, curled in a chair with his coffee and textbooks. He always seemed to be watching James, his bored expression unable to hide the hungry fascination in his eyes.

Suddenly an aggressive voice carried over the hubbub of the cafe. A man loomed, intimidating, over the tables by the door. In a flash, James was on his feet and charging across the room. “What the fuck is this?”

The man rounded on him. Suddenly, Regulus was at his side and James instinctively flung a protective arm out and held him back.

“This?” the man hissed, shoving his face close to James’. “This is _disgusting_ is what this is! You people,” his voice became a sarcastic shout. “Are _all disgusting_!”

James didn’t flinch. Furious blood pounded through his body, righteous adrenaline surging along his synapses. His voice was dangerously calm, cold steel. “And you’re an arsehole. Get out!”

The man’s face crumpled with purpling anger. His retort was a spit of brutal, deeply personal insults; Regulus hand closed convulsively in the back of James’ shirt.

A shield of red blanketed James’ vision. In one a swift movement, he hauled the man down by his collar and spun him into a half-nelson. Forcing excess pressure into the man’s neck, James marched him out the door.

A group of discriminatory picketers were on the street. Throwing the man bodily into their group, James enjoyed a savage satisfaction when a few people tumbled and fell. Over their outraged whinging he bellowed, “This is private property and the police are on their way!”

A ripple of fearful uncertainty ran through the group; people began to leave, many throwing James nervous glances or shouting angry invective as they left.

James towered over the man he’d tackled, his voice a dangerous snarl. “Before you think about pressing charges, you should know that I own this establishment and retain the right to bounce anyone I choose. Also, I’m incredibly rich – so the only way someone like _you_ could afford to take me on would be if you pay your lawyer in blow jobs.”

Turning his back without waiting for an answer, James heard the man spit at his feet.

The cafe disintegrated in a roar of applause the minute he stepped inside. It faded under the blood pounding his eardrums. With a distracted wave, James immediately turned to damage control: reassuring customers, filling incident records.

Finally, he was able to concentrate on what he really wanted – finding Regulus. People kept dragging him aside in thanks as he crossed the room.

The instant he slipped into a seat, Regulus’ reached for him. Something like panic pulled the edge of his lips. He whispered, “I didn’t know you could fight.”

The adrenaline poured out of James’ muscles, leaving him exhausted. A sliver of unhappiness pulled into the gap. “I wrestled in school,” he said, twining the drawstring of Regulus’ hoodie around his fingers.

“Don’t you ever shut up?” Regulus snapped incongruous words. Fierce emotion radiated in his eyes, shadowed dark beneath his eyeliner. He hauled James forwards and kissed him, forceful and affecting. James yielded, gratefully absorbing Regulus’ quiet strength. The cafe chatter increased excitedly around them. Reluctantly, Regulus drew away. He glared at James for a moment then said, “You didn’t need to push me back, you know. I wanted to help.”

James smiled, shuffling a hand through Regulus’ hair. “You’re my boyfriend. It’s my job to protect you.”

A startled shadow darted across Regulus’ face. “I’m your boyfriend?”

“Uh, _yeah_.” James arched an incredulous eyebrow. “Why, do you prefer some other term?”

“No,” Regulus said, sounding distant. “Just, we’ve never actually said anything about being boyfriends.”

James laughed a wave of affection. “C’mon, Reggie. Not everything needs to be explicitly said. We just know it.”

Regulus chewed back a smile; James found it endearing.  Arching an impudent eyebrow, Regulus said, “Good to know.”

l-l

... meanwhile, Remus and Sirius have their own run in with the hate crowd...

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_Remus_

Walking down the street, Sirius insisted on holding his hand. Remus had more or less gotten used to it.

While in Cornwall, he had bought a new ribbon as a gift for Sirius. It was tied around his wrist, lush loops of red and gold satin pressing against Remus’ own stolen ribbon. He was greatly annoyed at how much the sight pleased him.

As they walked towards the car they discussed the show they’d just seen. Then, a sudden, smarmy voice interrupted.

“Well well. If it isn’t the mighty Blackman, defender of the queers.”

Electric tension vibrated into Remus’ muscles as Sirius skidded to a stop. Two men split away from a group of passing picketers and blocked their path. Sucking a calming breath, Sirius said, “Hello, Nott.”

“This is the guy that fired you?” said Nott’s friend, eyeing them. “He doesn’t look gay.”

“Then you’re not looking right,” Sirius’ said in an angry snap. Remus squeezed his hand, but his own defences were raised.

“Oh yeah, trust me,” Nott said to his friend. “Just look at his twinkle fucking fairy stars. This son of a bitch is a total nancy. And they still let him run a business...” Nott slurred into a tirade of violent abuse. Sirius said nothing, his cold hand wrapped painfully tight around Remus’ knuckles.

White rage burned a fuse along Remus’ bloodstream. He heaved deep breaths, trying to keep his temper under control, swallowing the angry words dancing across his tongue. Only the odd, random word penetrated the pound of blood in his ears – and then he heard, “Maybe if I’d forced you over the desk and fu-”

Whatever Nott planned to say was lost as Remus reacted. Not even aware of moving, he sank a fist hard into Nott’s stomach. Surfing a tide of black fury, Remus moved in a hailstorm of fists to bring him down. All that mattered was causing as much pain as he could.

Nott’s friend jumped forwards and Remus put an elbow into his chest. Winded, he fell back. Nott scrabbled up and the two of them sprinted away.

“Remus...” Sirius’ voice was shaking.

Remus turned and yanked Sirius against him, crushing him in a protective hug. His hands tracked an instinctive path across Sirius’ body, something primal, bared teeth pressed against his neck.

“Remus – Remus wait, easy...”

He could barely register Sirius’ words over the roaring emotion in his brain. Huffing against Sirius’ skin, he whispered, “What is it?”

Sirius eased him back, brushing tender fingers over his jaw. “We just passed a hate march and I really don’t fancy being bludgeoned to death today.”

“Fuck, I’m sorry,” Remus rasped. He buried his face in the curve of Sirius’ shoulder, grasping him with biting fingers. “Just ... _nobody_ ... I will _never_ let anyone...”

“It’s okay,” Sirius whispered, stroking his back. “We’re both okay. Fucking hell, Moony, you’re shaking. _Fuck_ , you’re bleeding!”

Galvanising his expression, Remus unwound himself from Sirius and stepped back. “I’m fine.”

Sirius was pale and shaken, squinting at Remus with alarmed concern. “Let’s get the fuck out of here. Gimme your keys, I’ll drive.”

Remus shook his head, forcing slow, centring breaths as the black veil of his rage began to shift. “You hate driving.”

In a voice that brooked no argument, Sirius put his hand out. “Give me your keys.”

l-l

_Sirius_

“What happened?” James’ demanding tone was iced with concern. He rushed across the empty cafe and swooped on Remus. “What the fuck, man?”

“I’m fine, James,” Remus said. He had a remarkable bruise on his jaw and his knuckles were scraped raw, but his voice was steady. Despite that, he curled into James like a child seeking comfort.

“He jumped some homophobes,” Sirius said.

James sighed into Remus’ hair, wrapping him in tight security. “Yeah, we had them here too. Fucking hate marches should not be covered by peaceful protest regulations.”

“Well, doesn’t look like your interaction was peaceful,” Regulus said, approaching them with questioning concern. Sirius slid an arm around him. James was muttering something he couldn’t hear; Remus nodded against his chest.

Sirius eyed his brother. “It was Nott. Remember that guy I fired a few months back?”

“Fuck,” Regulus said without inflection. “Well, we’re going out tonight to cheer up the day. Why don’t you lot come too? Looks like you could use it.”

“Sounds good,” Sirius said, squeezing him.

“Let me take Moony home and tidy him up a bit,” James said. “And we’ll meet up for supper?”

Reluctantly, Sirius hugged Remus goodbye and let Regulus pull him outside. As they walked away, Regulus suddenly put his palm out. “You owe me a tenner, brother.”

Sirius frowned even as he reached for his wallet. “I do? What for?”

Not quite managing to keep a smile off his face, Regulus said, “I won another bet. James called me his boyfriend today.”

“Ohh, you’re _joking_!” Sirius pouted, slapping the note irritably into Regulus’ hand.

Supper at least was lively and pleasant, filled with laughter that chased away the cruelties of the day. Afterwards, they tumbled down the street and into a club. To Sirius’ delight, Remus, for the very first time, initiated their hand-holding.

Under dark, strobing lights, they chased away the tension with the curve of music and the flow of alcohol. Sirius wondered vaguely if he’d had enough and then decided he didn’t care, not when Remus was perched on a stool beside him, whispering the most delightfully filthy things. His scraped fingers toyed with the star charms on Sirius’ necklace.

It appeared he wasn’t the only one who’d had a bit too much – suddenly James twirled away from the dance floor and into Sirius’ arms. “Hello dear,” he grinned, and kissed him.

Sirius started, pressing a hand against James’ chest. But James’ fingers were tight in his hair, holding him with determined firmness.

Sirius’ horrified shock was quickly overwhelmed. James kissed him with such tender, unexpected affection, soft, insistent. He seemed completely unaware of Sirius’ lack of response, lingering with gentle, protective sweetness. Despite himself, Sirius was drawn into it.

James broke the kiss with a pleased little sigh, resting his forehead against Sirius. “You know I’ll always look after you, right? You’re one of mine now.” He stepped back with a brilliant smile and bounced back towards the dance floor before Sirius could reply.

Dazed, he turned back to Remus who was laughing hysterically. “Wow,” Sirius gasped. “Now I understand why you’re always kissing him! Fuck me dead, Reg is a lucky kid.”

Remus hooked a foot high onto an adjacent stool; Sirius stared with glazed eyes at the delightful angle. “I’ll try not to take that as a slight against my own kissing ability.”

“Please,” Sirius agreed, touching his lip. “James must be absolutely tanked to mistake me for Reg.”

Remus reached for him. Grinning, he said, “Oh, Padfoot ... he _definitely_ knew it was you he was kissing.”

Grateful warmth thrummed into Sirius’ tipsy blood; being under James’ protection seemed oddly significant. As for the kiss, truly awesome though it was, it was no competition for the way Remus touched him, the way those touches made him feel.

Sirius stepped between Remus’ knees and kissed him.

l-l

If this instalment leaves you unsettled, the author recommends ignoring everything except for the sexy things Remus does with his legs. Yes. There you go – much better, isn’t it?

Sexy legs. _Oh yes_...

Ahem. Please excuse that distraction.

In our next episode, only soft things await our gallant adventurers...


	18. Aesthetic

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pure fluff and nonsense. Featuring a serenade with an eyelash curler.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those who prefer to avoid chapter 17, here is a double feature update so you don't miss out.

The dust bunnies have taken over! Save yourselves!

Or: the first ten call-ins win free insulin.

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_Sirius_

“What are you doing?” Sirius asked sleepily.

“Joining your stars,” Remus whispered. There was a softness to his voice that Sirius didn’t recognise.

Waking up to Remus gently tracing his skin was the nicest thing Sirius thought he had ever known. Fingertips slowly coursed the tattooed constellation on his shoulder before sliding across his back. Sirius wriggled into the mattress. He was caught between wanting to go back to sleep and taking advantage of a stirring sexual interest.

“You need to get up soon,” Remus said, his voice still oddly hushed. “For that early meeting.”

Sirius groaned. “Don’t remind me.”

“You shouldn’t have spent the night, really,” Remus continued, ignoring him. “I’ve got nothing in for breakfast.” His fingers danced across Sirius’ back, creeping down his spine. “You’ve got such beautiful skin.”

“Moony?” Sirius asked.

“Mm?”

“Can I fuck you?”

“Yes, if you like,” Remus replied in his infuriating mild way.

Sirius turned and reached for him. Wasting time he didn’t have, Sirius copied Remus and pressed his fingers against a tattoo. “You’ve never told me what your ink means.”

“Does it matter?” Remus asked, swaying lightly against him. He blinked, sweet and soft from sleep.

“Yes.”

“Why?”

Sirius gasped as Remus shifted in a remarkably pleasant way. “Because it’s you,” he said softly.

Some emotion glanced too fast over Remus’ face for Sirius to read. A light frown creased his features as Remus covered Sirius’ hand with his own and guided it across his body, explaining a slow heaven of tattoos, each chosen with supreme deliberation.

Sirius brushed his thumb down an inked moon phase. “What about this one?”

Terribly soft: “It’s a reminder that the dark doesn’t last.”

Sirius slowly met Remus’ eyes, sensing a deeper story. But Remus only smiled, neutral as ever.

Pushing him against the mattress, Sirius traced the tattoo with his tongue. Remus wrapped his hands around the bars of the headboard and let Sirius explore him, giving only a whispered reminder about how little time they had.

Sirius made every second count.

Afterwards, they shared a quick shower and Sirius reluctantly shook himself into his suit.

Remus stepped out of the bathroom, rubbing his hair with a towel. He crossed the room and slipped behind Sirius, gentle hands sweeping back his damp hair and securing it with his ruby-gold ribbon. He sang softly, “ _In gay profusion,_ _scarlet ribbons for your hair.._.” Then he kissed Sirius’ nape and murmured, “You need breakfast. Give me a minute to get dressed and we’ll hit the cafe.”

Too early for opening, Remus let them in and steered Sirius towards the kitchen. The baker glanced up, startled. “Oh, Remus. Why are you invading my kitchen at this ungodly hour?”

“I’ve got nothing in, so I’m abusing my position in order to feed Sirius. How are you, Pete?”

“Yeah, dandy. Want me to make you something then?”

“No, I’ll cook,” Sirius offered. He flicked an eyebrow in Peter’s direction. “Want me to make you a plate too, Peter?”

Bribing Peter was the best way to encourage him to share the kitchen. Sirius moved deft and capable around him, all easy skill. Remus, trying to help, got hopelessly in his way. In the end, Sirius threatened him with a spatula and Remus retreated to make coffee.

Leaving Peter to enjoy his share, they withdrew to the cafe to eat, settling together on a couch by a window. They watched the sun creep skywards, gradually turning the washed-out morning into bold, city colours.

Sirius sipped his coffee, murmuring a blissful approval. “Mmm. How are you so good at this?”

Remus shrugged. “I just have a skill for blending flavours.”

“You ever gonna tell me what’s in it?”

Remus smiled and didn’t answer.

Checking the time, Sirius grimaced. “Fuck. I should have left fifteen minutes ago.”

“You’re rich and powerful. They’ll forgive you. Let me kiss you properly before you go?”

Not waiting for an answer, Remus lurched at him. His teeth scraped down Sirius’ neck, fiddling his tie loose. His mouth closed hard on the skin beneath Sirius’ collar.

Head tipping back involuntarily, Sirius curled an eager hand through Remus’ hair. “Moony ... I have to go.” His voice was a fractured gasp.

Slowly sucking a bruise into Sirius’ throat, Remus finally drew back and readjusted his clothing. Quiet and calm, he said, “Think of me today, hm?”

Sirius’ lips parted, words he wasn’t ready to say rising unbidden. He swallowed them down and smiled instead. “I’m always thinking of you Moony.”

l-l

_Regulus_

“ _There’s a warm summer breeze that makes the red poppies dance..._ ” James muttered lyrics under his breath as he curled his eyelashes, peering at his spectacle-free face in Regulus’ bedroom mirror.

Regulus leant against the wall beside him. “Why are you singing that fucking depressing song?”

“Hark at you, Mr Joy Division,” James said derisively, glancing at him. “It’s a beautiful and important song.”

Regulus folded his arms, eyeing James doubtfully. “It’s a folk song.”

“ _Not_ mutually exclusive.” James pointed the eyelash curler at him quite sternly.

“Perhaps.” A twist of disappointment tugged at Regulus’ belly when James did not pick the song up again. He prompted, “I do like hearing you sing.”

“Is that so?” James grinned. Without preamble he turned, pushed Regulus onto the bed and neatly straddled him.

Regulus’ bit his tongue, bemused. “Well, this is nice too,” he said, wrapping his arms around James’ waist. “But also ... what the actual fuck?”

James rocked against him, pure seduction. “ _We move like cagey tigers_ ,” he murmured, hand sliding up Regulus’ neck and around his head in a firm press. “ _We couldn’t get closer than this..._ ”

“Uhm ... what?” Regulus gazed at him, excited heart thudding a rapid beat.

James ignored him, a vibrant confidence gleaming in his mischievous eyes. He continued the song, smooth rich words tumbling into Regulus’ mind.

Then he raised the eyelash curler.

Regulus recoiled instinctively, but James’ held him tight. He curled an encouraging smile around the lyrics. Gradual and precise, he fitted the curler, easing Regulus with gentle movements.

Gripping James in a tight squeeze, Regulus tried to force some surliness into his voice. He failed entirely. “You are irritating...”

James leaned in and crooned right into Regulus’ ear, “ _So wonderfully, wonderfully, wonderfully, wonderfully pretty..._ ”

Regulus’ breath caught and in an instant he gave himself over to the moment: James’ body pressing into him, sure, steady hands brushing across his face. James’ voice wove fond between them, enticing and safe.

Regulus was worried James would stop singing when he put down the eyelash curler, but no – instead he snatched up Regulus’ eye makeup from the bedside and began to apply it. “ _It’s the grooviest thing, it’s the perfect dream..._ ”

He’d never had someone do his makeup before; it was strangely exhilarating in a way that had nothing to do with James straddling him. A soft smile crept unbidden onto Regulus’ mouth; he did not want the moment to end.

Finishing the makeup, James raked his hands through Regulus’ hair. His voice was deliciously, painfully soft. “ _Oh,_ _I’m broken ... I love you, let’s go..._ ”

Sharp fire sliced through Regulus’ chest. His eyes flicked to James’ face, frustrating a perfectly everyday expression. James rested silencing fingers against Regulus’ mouth, finishing the lyrics totally unaffected.

The song ended and the sudden quiet screamed between them.  Lips moving to say ‘Jamie’, Regulus found he couldn’t make his voice work. The wonderful pressure in his chest strangled him.

“Just shut up,” James said anyway, uncharacteristically muted. He leaned down and kissed Regulus – and a sweeter, more ardent passion he had never known. He gladly abandoned all his aloof iciness, for once not even trying to cling to any self-preserving defences.  Regulus wanted James to consume him.

Need bubbled through his body; Regulus snatched at James’ clothes. He was beyond irate when James stilled his fingers. “I’m not going to ruin your posh fucking clothes, you berk,” he grumbled. “I just need you naked!”

“You’ve got classes to go to,” James said, kissing him between words, mouth tickling across Regulus’ skin. “We don’t have time.”

“Fuck classes, I’m about to graduate anyway,” Regulus groaned, impatient. “Take your clothes off.”

James gave him an indulgent smile and reached for the zipper of Regulus’ hoodie...

They loitered in bed afterwards, tracing idle fingers over one another. “Why don’t you have any tattoos?” Regulus asked. “I thought everyone had tattoos these days.”

“I have your tattoos, I don’t need my own,” James said, spinning Regulus’ navel stud. “I have all your pretty belly adornments. This is my favourite.” He swept a hand over the stag antlers framing Regulus’ hip bones. “ _Hello little deer, come home and play..._ ”

“Fine, don’t answer me,” Regulus snapped, but he was truly delighted.

James smiled. He said, “Reggie, I’m classic. Like my _posh fucking clothes_.”

“Classic, huh? And here I thought you were just peacocking with all that stuff. What with your ego needing constant attention.”

“Fuck you,” James said kindly. “I was raised to cherish and value myself. To me, that includes quality attire. As to my ego ... just think Reggie, it could always be worse.”

“Huh,” Regulus said, arching an eyebrow at him. “That is not remotely true and we both know it.”

“I refuse to agree,” James said. He brushed a thumb beneath Regulus’ eye. “Your eyeliner’s all smudged.”

Regulus grabbed his hand, kissed his thumbtip. All dismissive, he said, “I can make that work for my aesthetic.”

James’ voice was light with wry affection. “Yes, we make a fine pair, don’t we? A goth-toff and an olive posho.”

Twisting their fingers together, Regulus said simply, “I think we make a good pair.”

l-l

The dust bunnies have won the battle. Surrender is the only option.

At least until next time, when a thing becomes afoot.


	19. Party

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Where Regulus graduates, Sirius hosts a party and Remus tries to start an argument with James.

This penultimate episode sees our cherished protagonists at a business party. Generally speaking – we’re speaking generally here – they do not appear to be enjoying it...

l-l

_Sirius_

Kingsley pressed a glass of champagne into his hand; Sirius had no intention of drinking it. His slow, deep voice soothed Sirius’ frazzled nerves. “He looks even better in person, your piece of pretty.”

“He cleans up well,” Sirius agreed conversationally.

Across the room, Remus was chatting with a group of stakeholders. Hestia Jones kept touching him and Sirius had to fight the not-entirely irrational urge to stamp over and push her away. But Remus looked calm and personable and utterly wonderful in his fitted shirt. A flush of pride warmed Sirius’ heart.

Charity dinners were bad enough when Sirius wasn’t hosting them. This one was unpleasantly large, compounded by celebrating Regulus’ graduation. To Sirius’ astonished gratitude, James had forced himself into the preparation, capably handling a great amount of the organisation. When Sirius objected James merely licked his throat and said something that sounded astonishingly like “practically family”.

Sirius had refused to read meaning into that.

Regulus deflected a lot of the attention. Without complaint, he had slipped himself into a neat suit. His typically aloof attitude was working well for him as he moved through the guests; they mistook it for professional aptitude.

In many ways, Sirius supposed he shouldn’t feel as aggravated as he did.

Kingsley was brazenly checking out Remus. “Can we still be mates if I make an inappropriate comment about how great his legs are?”

Eyeing him sideways beneath an amused brow, Sirius said, “Define ‘inappropriate’.”

Kingsley only laughed. Sirius joined in, quietly glad of Kingsley’s easy companionship. Such peaceable moments at work events were short-lived.

Suddenly Remus looked up. A gentle smile pulled across his harassed expression as their eyes met.  Jones’ hand slid down his arm and Remus flicked an exasperated eyebrow before politely bowing his head to listen to her.

Kingsley made a low impressed sound. “Well, he just thinks the world of you, doesn’t he?”

Pure joy zapped through Sirius’ belly. “Do you think so?” He tried to sound cool and failed, his heart beating staccato: hopeful and nervous and needful.

Smiling amusement, Kingsley said, “How can you doubt it, Black? It’s written all over him.”

Delighted surprise fizzled through Sirius’ blood. He gnawed his lip, watching Remus more acutely. “Well, he ... he’s just very reserved, you know? I mean, sometimes we have these moments and I think ... well. But he doesn’t affirm.”

“You’ve never just asked him?”

Sirius shrugged, idly touching the ribbon holding his bun straight. “Nah, he‘s kinda flighty about that sort of thing. I’m happy with what I’ve got.”

“Mhm.” Kingsley clapped his shoulder. “Take it from me, Black: you should be. That man clearly adores you. Now, you’d better go and save him from Jones.”

“I was just thinking the same thing,” Sirius said, frowning. He passed his untouched drink back to Kingsley and started to cross the room.

Of course, he was immediately interrupted by another guest. He glanced towards Remus with growing unease.

l-l

_Remus_

Crowds were one of the worst endurances ever. Flattered to be included, Remus pasted a smile across his face and played the part for Sirius’ sake. Unfortunately, an important stakeholder had latched onto him. When he broke away from the group for a moment’s quiet, she cornered him.

Jones pushed a glass into his hand. “Merlot, yes?”

Guarded, Remus said, “Thank you.” He hadn’t planned on having another drink yet.

She stood too close. Remus tipped his weight back and hit the wall. “May I call you Remus?” she asked.

Forcing an easiness he didn’t feel, Remus said, “If you please, Ms Jones.”

“Hestia, please.” She beamed at him and rested her fingers on Remus’ elbow.

She had him very neatly trapped. A wary panic pulled along Remus’ nerves. He glanced past her, seeking intervention. Sirius, looking aggravated, was clearly trying to distract patrons and get to him, but Remus couldn’t spot James through the crowd.

Rather than risk offending a stakeholder, Remus decided he could wait for Sirius. Offering Jones a careful smile, he politely answered her small talk and tried to wriggle some space between them.

Pressing a hand up his arm, Jones leaned close enough for Remus to smell her perfume. She said slowly, “Do I make you uncomfortable?” Remus got the impression that she hoped so. “Your nervousness is rather endearing, Remus.”

Too late, Remus realised he had under estimated her. Anxious horror dripped ice down his spine and acerbic words rose on his lips, offense be damned – then Jones’ hand closed on his belt. She tipped her mouth against his ear and whispered an invitation.

“I’m not interested,” Remus snapped. He tried to push her back but she clutched him hard, insistent. Remus wanted to spit in her face.

“If you need to go through this silly show of resistance, I’m happy to play along,” Jones smiled, but something unpleasant edged into her tone. She slid a hand down the front of his trousers and whispered again – explicit, aggressive, entitled.

Violent ringing shrieked in Remus’ ears. Reactive blood thundered through his veins and he coiled back, smacking his head against the wall. He barely felt it as adrenaline set his body on fire. Remus spoke without recognising his own voice. “ _What did you just say to me?_ ”

A flinty voice interrupted before Jones could answer. “Remus, I’ve been looking for you. Excuse us Ms Jones.”

Startled, she stumbled back and Regulus stepped neatly between them. His face was as perfectly dispassionate as ever, but anger glowed in his dark eyes. Quickly slipping an arm around Remus’ waist, he steered him towards a vacant table.

“You alright?” Regulus asked brusquely.

Remus tried to blink away the stressed black spots cluttering his vision. “I think so,” he muttered, mostly lying. “Thanks, chappie.”

“Don’t mention it.” Regulus voice was dark and edgy. “We all know how Jones can be.”

Glancing at him, Remus decided to ignore the comment.

Flicking a meaningful eyebrow towards a chair, Regulus hovered for a moment after Remus sat. Chewing his tongue, his chilly facade finally cracked with concern. He said, “I’m gonna go and find James, okay?”

Remus nodded, grounding himself as the party hummed away in the background. He started violently as a body landed heavily beside him.

It was Sirius. He rested his chin on Remus’ knees, hugging his legs tight. “Fucking christ, are you okay? You don’t look okay.”

Remus touched him softly. He itched to pull Sirius’ ruby-gold ribbon free and hide in the consuming blackness of his hair. “Yeah.”

Sirius’ voice was pure anger. “I’m sorry, Moony! I was trying to get to you and people kept fucking grabbing me. I hate that I have to invite people like her to these things!”

“It’s alright,” Remus murmured, but it wasn’t.

“I know you’re lying.” Sirius glared at him. “I can see it in your face, and I know the sorts of things she says.”

A hand landed on Remus’ shoulder. He tensed and glanced up; it was James. “What’s happened?”

In a low whisper, Remus told him. “She said _what_?” White fury suffused James’ features and he turned, searching the milling guests. “Which one is she, I’ll fucking tell her a thing or two!”

“Maybe you two should leave,” Regulus suggested, placing a palm on James’ chest. “Let us wrap things up here and meet you afterwards.”

“Yeah, that sounds good,” Remus said, edging to his feet.

Pale eyes bright with feeling, Sirius pulled Remus’ hand to his mouth and pressed a gentle kiss to the heel of his palm; it brushed against the ribbon. A moment later he let Remus go and stampeded back into the crowd.

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_James_

The cafe was only a few blocks away; it was as good a place as any to wait. Even cold and empty in the middle of the night it welcomed them. James pushed Remus into a seat and wandered into the kitchen, returning with mugs of cocoa.

He shoved one into Remus’ hand, scowling. “Drink it.”

Remus flicked an eyebrow at him. “Yes, mum.”

Squinting at him sharply, James dropped onto the couch and roughly pulled Remus’ legs across his lap. Patting one knee, he asked in his most careful tone, “You really alright then?”

“Yes.”

“Are you lying to me?”

Remus sipped his drink. “No.”

“Hm. Well, good.” Not fully convinced, James sighed and sipped his drink; the chocolate helped thaw the anxiety gripping his veins. “I’m sorry I didn’t help you.”

Remus snorted, pretending a dismissive. “You would have if you could have, Prongs. Anyway, it wasn’t that bad.”

“That’s not what the look on your face said. And I’m betting you didn’t tell me the worst of it.”

 Stalling, Remus finally mumbled, “Well, I am glad your young guy came to help me out.”

Failing at nonchalance, James said, “Me too.”

Remus fixed him with a penetrating glare. “Good thing you didn’t chuck him after all, huh?”

“Yeah. Hard to believe now just how nearly that happened.”

Remus shifted against him, settling more comfortably. He looked relaxed but James was not reassured – something dark brewed deep behind his eyes. Raising expectant eyebrows, James braced himself for whatever negativity Remus was about to share.

Eyeing James over the rim of his cup, Remus’ voice was impressively steady. “I’m going to lose you to this one, aren’t I?”

It was worse than James had expected. Shock made his voice brutal. “No, you’re fucking not!”

 “It’s okay,” Remus lied. He tried to pull away and James grabbed him, holding him close. “It was always going to happen, right?”

“Remus!” A shadow dusted Remus’ features at the sharpness of James’ tone. “You damnably infuriating creature!”

“It’s okay,” Remus repeated. He hid behind his curls, refusing to meet James’ eyes. “I rely on you too much anyway.”

“You’re being a dick,” James snarled. “Moony, you are in my _blood_. Stop being a twat. And no! Don’t you dare say ‘we’ll talk about it later’ like you’re gonna argue with me. You will be stuck with me until the day you _die_ , you fucking arse.”

Remus glared at him and didn’t answer, fingers pressed hard against his mouth.

His vulnerability twisted a stabbing pain in James’ chest. Frustrated, he slammed their cups aside and grasped Remus’ face in both hands. Fixing him with a stern, affectionate glare, he snapped, “Why are you like this?”

It was an awkward angle, but James leaned over and pressed his lips to Remus’ with as much gentle kindness as he could fit in a single touch. Then he butted their foreheads together and grunted, “Rely on me too much, you fucker. You don’t rely on me enough, you never have. Shut up.”

“If you insist,” Remus said, brushing his nose against James’ cheek. It appeared he was disinclined to continue arguing.

“That’s not shutting up,” James grumbled anyway, snuggling him aggressively.

Remus made some deep, non-committal noise and didn’t answer.

Long moments passed in gentle, supportive silence until Remus sniffed and gently pushed him back. “Thanks Jimmy,” he said quietly. Looking impossibly tired, he reached for his mug and took a sip. His face twisted. “S’gone cold.”

“Want another one?” James asked. he eyed Remus critically, trying to read his mood.

Remus passed his cup over. “Please?”

Easing himself from under Remus’ knees, James got up just as the door jangled open. An agitated Sirius barged in, Regulus following on a more sedate step.

James met them, sliding an arm around Regulus and kissing him in greeting. He held him long and slow, the thank you he hadn’t yet been able to say. Regulus’ hands closed on his hips, thumbs hooking over his belt. James lost himself in the soft, eager slide of Regulus’ mouth, until a sharp voice interrupted. “Prongs! That cocoa won’t make itself!”

Regulus stumbled back, blinking dazed eyes. Pulling him towards the kitchen, James said evenly, “That’s Remus for ‘get a room’. Help me make drinks, Reggie – I’ve got something I want to talk to you about.”

l-l

Naturally, James intends to interfere with Black Enterprises and remove unsavoury patrons without damaging the business. However, that is not the only thing he talks to Regulus about.

Stay tuned for our final instalment of Cafe Boys, where nothing is explained and readers are left perpetually unsatisfied!


	20. The End

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things change between James and Regulus, and Remus does something Sirius doesn't expect.

 

The end is nigh...

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_Sirius_

Sirius was tired when he reached the cafe. He still wanted to enjoy some music before he went home.

The atmosphere enveloped him, warm and lively, filled with rich coffee and great cheer. It seeped into his bones, a happy distraction from the impossibly long day. He was disappointed to find Remus behind the counter instead of performing with James.

Sirius shrugged his way through the crowd and slid to Remus’ side, carefully keeping out of his way. “Hey.”

“Padfoot,” Remus said warmly. He was adding a variety of flavours to a brew and did not look up. “I didn’t expect you here tonight.”

“I had enough of fucking bookwork.”

“D’you want a coffee?” Remus asked. “I can make your special one.”

Sirius’ heart bounced. “That sounds great,” he murmured. His fingers twitched, desperate to touch Remus’ perfect calm. “Why aren’t you playing tonight?”

“String snapped on my guitar,” Remus said lazily. “I’ll go and sing for James later though.”

Glancing across the room, Sirius discovered James proudly balancing on the arms of a chair. Some thrilled girls stared hopefully up at him. Suddenly Sirius frowned. “Are – is he wearing my trousers?”

Remus pushed some steaming cups towards a waitress. “Yes,” he said, intent on his work. “I tried to tell him.”

“Uhm,” Sirius passed a glare between James and Remus. “How did he even _get_ them?”

“Well, he tells me that he’d run out of clean trousers, or missed the dry cleaner or something. I really wasn’t listening,” Remus said, seasoning Sirius’ mug. “So he came to borrow a pair from me and you’d left these hanging over the foot of the bed. He just grabbed them and took off. I did call after him, but as you may have guessed, it had no effect.”

“Between the two of you I’m going to end up with an empty wardrobe,” Sirius said critically, eyeing his cufflinks on Remus’ black work shirt.

“Mm.” Sirius could hear Remus’ approving smile. “I can get on board with it if you start wandering around naked.”

“Later,” Sirius said.

“Do you promise?” Remus teased. Sirius bit his lip. He wished Remus would look at him.

He had to wait until his coffee was ready. Remus turned and pressed the mug into his hand; Sirius caught his fingers. Striving for a neutral tone, he said, “Since you don’t normally work tonight I think you should come and sit with me.”

Remus eyed him. “Are you asking me to?”

Swallowing his tired impulse to annoyance, Sirius said, “Yes.”

 “Very well,” Remus sighed. He reached to undo his apron. “If you want.”

“Don’t sound too enthusiastic,” Sirius grumbled.

“Don’t worry, I won’t,” Remus replied. He smiled and squeezed Sirius’ hand.

They joined Regulus. He didn’t acknowledge them, absorbed by James, who was joyously twirling a giggling young man. Ignoring his brother in kind, Sirius turned and pressed his nose against Remus’ ear. He murmured, “Are you inviting me home tonight?”

Remus’ fingers crept across Sirius’ back, tugging his shirt loose and sliding underneath; his hands were blissfully warm from the steamer. Rubbing tiny circles across Sirius’ lower back, Remus asked, “What will you do if I say no?”

Before Sirius could answer James bounded onto their table and threw his arms out in a wild flourish, finishing a song.

A lingering edge of irritation spurred Sirius to pluck forcefully at his trousers. Distracted from his grandiose showmanship, James looked down. “These,” Sirius said, “are mine.”

A flash of surprise disappeared under James’ cheeky grin. “Is that so? My mistake – I imagine you’ll be wanting them back then?” James raised his microphone and spoke to the room. “Well well, my beauties, I’ve just been informed that these fine trousers I borrowed don’t belong to my lovely Moony, but to his charming boyfriend, who wants them back!  How about it?”

A roar of approving cheers and excited laughter exploded through the cafe. Bright with mischief, James passed the microphone to Remus and promptly stripped the trousers off.

Sirius stared in alarm as a length of well-defined leg appeared directly before him. James made a big show of ensuring his shorts were properly adjusted, flexing through absurd poses. Somewhere beneath the hammering thunder of his heartbeat Sirius was screaming in horror – yet he couldn’t manage to look away.

James bent down quite unnecessarily as he retrieved the microphone; the room cheered and whistled. Briefly venting his ego to the crowd, he then announced Remus. Sirius chanced a glance at Regulus. Hiding under his hood, he was biting his tongue in an obvious bid not to laugh. Stoic demeanour notwithstanding, Regulus had been far more inclined to good humours since James had asked him to move in.

Sirius tried to keep his gaze averted. Remus nudged him, clearly finding the whole thing hilarious. “Like what you see, huh? I won’t take it personally.”

“No!” startled away from his immediate shock, Sirius turned to Remus, but he was sliding out of his seat and heading for the dais. Sirius called after him, “I’m not attracted to James!”

“Course you are,” James said, jumping down from the table and sitting beside him. He threw a leg over Sirius’ lap. “Naked photos don’t compare to the live experience, right?”

“Get off me, you pervert!”

They squabbled for a moment, rough-housing. Suddenly James paused, hands on Sirius’ shoulders. “Wow.” He frowned, uncharacteristically serious. “You’re very tight. D’you get headaches?”

“Um...” Bemused, Sirius tried to shrug him off.

“You should’ve mentioned this, Pads. Don’t worry, I’ll sort you out.” Without warning, James clambered over him and kissed Regulus. “Right lads, I’ve gotta mingle for a bit. These bare legs are gonna be great for business. Thanks laddie!”

Sirius hid his face in his coffee cup and focussed on Remus’ soothing voice filling the room.

l-l

_James_

Regulus was fidgety. James found it vaguely amusing.

“Cold feet, Reggie?” he asked lightly, not at all concerned.

“No,” Regulus frowned. “Just ... it doesn’t feel real yet.”

A collection of boxes were scattered around the room. James had been delighting himself by rummaging through things, putting random items all around his house.

Regulus had just started to notice. “I thought I’d brought more stuff than this,” he said, frowning.

“You did,” James said, stretching indolently across the couch. “I’ve put it away already.”

“What?” Regulus gave him a strange look.

“Mm. You’ll find everything. Provided you actually make yourself at home.”

Regulus’ body swayed delightfully as he put a hand on his hip. “Oh god, have you actually hidden things? Am I going to have to look in the cistern for my shampoo or something?”

James grinned and scruffed his hair back. “No, no jokes. But what a brilliant idea, Reggie. I’ll remember that one.”

 The doorbell chimed.

Regulus groaned. “That’ll be Sirius,” he said unnecessarily. “I’ll get it.”

“Ahh!” James leapt up and followed him to the hallway. “Padfoot, my love! How are you?”

“Spiffing,” Sirius said, staring determinedly three inches to James’ right.

“Stop being weird,” James teased, batting his eyelashes. “I’m wearing clothes. Hey, maybe another few visits and you’ll be able to look me in the eye again, huh? In the meantime, I got you a present.”

“Oh?” Sirius was clearly expecting the worst.

James fetched it, unceremoniously shoving a pair of black paw-slippers into Sirius’ hands. He said, “Stop stealing Moony’s wolf feet. Now off you pop, we’ve just moved in together and should be having sex. You’re such an interruption.”

Grabbing him swiftly, James licked an affectionate stripe up his neck. Sirius ducked away, but he was laughing as he stamped up the stairs.

Regulus knocked James lightly with his hip. “Did you say we’re going to have sex?”

“No.” James wandered back to the couch, sprawling across the cushions. “I just said we should be.”

“That sounds like an invitation to me.”

“Oh it is,” James agreed.

Clearly accepting it, Regulus clambered onto James’ lap and straddled him. His hands moved immediately to James’ fly buttons.

Grabbing his jacket in one fist, James yanked him down. He kissed Regulus long and hard, smoothing appreciative hands across his body. When Regulus drew back impatiently, James tugged his nose ring and murmured, “You made the right choice when you ordered me, you know.”

Regulus stared down at him, supremely unimpressed, but his dark eyes were soft. They gave lie to his snappish tone. “And your ego never ceases to amaze me. Now shut the fuck up, would you?”

Smirking contentedly, James shut up and pulled him into another kiss.

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_Remus_

“Moony?”

“In here.”

Concentrating on restringing his guitar, Remus didn’t look up as Sirius entered; he had been expecting him after all. Sirius settled onto the couch beside him – and suddenly his hand snapped out and closed with brutal force around Remus’ wrist.

Startled, he dropped the bridge pin and the string slithered through his fingers. “Hey, careful!” Astounded, Remus glanced up and surprised an expression on Sirius’ face that shook a chill through his bones. “What? What is it?”

Sirius’ pressed his skin, slow and urgent. “Where’s the ribbon? Why have you taken it off?”

“Oh.” Remus frowned. He had intended to explain first, but his sleeves were folded up; his bare wrist was obvious. “It’s nothing, Padfoot. Look, go and make a cup of tea while I finish winding, okay? Then we’ll talk.”

Sirius’ eyes burned violent. “That sounds bad.”

Remus smiled. “It’s not, I promise.”

Nervous and clearly unconvinced, Sirius stormed towards the kitchen, making a truly unnecessary amount of noise. Amused more than annoyed, Remus set the strings and put his guitar aside. When they were both ready, he silently led Sirius into the bedroom. Perching on the bed, Sirius gazed at him warily. “Remus...”

“Be quiet,” Remus said. Anxiety crept into his blood.  Settling beside Sirius, he placed a wooden box between them and brushed his fingers across it, forcing steady breaths. “The ribbon was wearing out, Sirius.”

“What ... what does that mean?”

Remus glanced at him, startled into a fond smile. “It’s not a metaphor for this thing we do. The ribbon – it was fraying and marking. And I didn’t want it to be ruined, so I had to take it off.”

“Are you sure this isn’t a metaphor for us?” Sirius snarked. “Are you trying to make sure I don’t ask you to move in with me now, or something?”

Remus looked at him, exasperated patience. “I said shut up, Padfoot. This is important to me.” Swallowing, he smoothed a hand across the lid and pushed it free. “My mother gave me this box after my father died. It stores all of my most valued things.”

Finally it seemed Sirius was paying attention. His pale eyes bored into Remus’, discomforting him; he squirmed and hoped Sirius wouldn’t ask too many questions.

Remus pulled a photograph from the box and passed it to Sirius. “This is all of us. I think I was about ten.”

Lip caught between his teeth, Sirius said nothing. Remus shared a few other items: a page of pressed jasmine blossoms, a coming-of-age gift from the Potters, his parents’ wedding rings. It was vital Sirius appreciate the gravitas of the gesture he was about to make.

Remus was furious with himself for not being able to meet Sirius’ eyes. “Now you’re in here as well,” he murmured. Mouth pulling with nerves, Remus passed Sirius a small wreath of rosemary, secured with the red ribbon. Sirius took it wordlessly, looking awed.

A painfully long moment of silence passed between them. Remus gazed sightlessly at the wall while Sirius clutched the ribbon, crushing a tiny, fragrant leaf between thumb and finger. “Remus...”

“Don’t say anything,” Remus said tensely. He snatched the wreath back and stood, storing the box away. Schooling his expression into perfect neutrality, he leant against the wardrobe and eyed Sirius uncertainly.

Myriad emotions pinched Sirius’ face. At length, he cleared his throat and simply said, “I liked seeing you wearing my ribbon ... all this time.”

Soft relief swept through Remus. He smiled and sat again, wonderfully close. He grasped Sirius’ hand. “Well, I did think you might take exception. So I took the liberty...” Pulling a pair of red leather bracelets from his pocket, Remus slipped one over Sirius’ hand and gently adjusted the sliding knot. “We both know how good you look in leather. Would you mind..?”

Grinning brilliantly, Sirius fitted the matching band to Remus’ bony wrist; his hands were not quite steady. He brushed his thumb over a decorative twist in the cord. “Moony,” Sirius said, uncharacteristically quiet. “Do you know that this is called an infinity knot?”

“I do, yes.” Remus kept his tone mild.

Nodding slow and thoughtful, Sirius chewed on his lower lip. Then he dragged Remus’ hand to his mouth and pressed an impossibly tender kiss to his palm.

Remus could feel an adoring smile lingering against his skin. Warm emotion stretched through his veins. He reached for Sirius and drew him into a sweet, needful kiss.

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 This was a story of four young men. They’re all as queer as can be and met one day in a cafe. And despite it being debatably unrealistic, at this juncture they’ve all earned something of a happy ending. 

Because it’s more fun that way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm working on part two. It's called "The Grand Affair" and is rather different to part one. I hope some of you will stick around for it, and I thank everyone who's been following the Cafe Boys on their nonsense journey. I appreciate you all so much! :D


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